Big Brother 4, July 18: Jee, It’s Nomination Time Again

Well, folks… I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! It's so good to be back! I know you've all been wondering where I've been since the last edition of The Bachelor went off the air. I’ve been teaching classes at the Alex Michel School of Dating in the Joe Millionaire Wing. My first class, How to Become a Mercenary and Bathe Third World Children In Less Than Thirty Days, was a huge success and was soon followed up with the Zora Andrich Talk to the Animals seminar.

But I'm back, and yes, even though I've missed the first four episodes of Big Brother 4, I have been following the action in the house to really come to one conclusion - anything is better than what they had in the first season, even if it seems like the same stuff keeps happening year after year after year. Besides, who remembers that voice coming over the action in the first season saying things like, "The HouseGuests debate the effects of overpopulation is Southeastern China as it affects the United States' consumption of steamed vegetable dumplings"? And to top it all off, I got to see, as fellow writer Brian James put it in his first recap , the dramatic Julie Chen pivots!

We of course begin with the standard recap of the previous eviction and Head of Household (HoH) competition, won by Jee. As we hear Julie announce the 9-0 vote against Amanda, we see each HouseGuest vote against her in quick succession.

Nathan says everybody voted the way he hoped and Robert notes that there were no surprises. He sees it as being one step closer to the $500,000. Dave, who had just shared an evening and a bed with Amanda the night before, says that on one hand he doesn’t regret the vote because if he didn’t vote against her, he’d have been the next target; on the other hand, he does regret it because he wanted to spend more time in the HoH room with her. OK, he doesn’t say that – he just say that Jee should have gone.

Jun repeats her statements from previous episodes by saying she couldn’t have manipulated Amanda as easily as Jun. Meanwhile, Alison says she just won the first round.

Skipping ahead to the HoH competition, Jack says when he got the boot from the contest, he realized that all four remaining were exes – “not a damn good feeling.” But Dana calls it a good kick in the ass and Justin can’t think of a better person to be HoH. Nathan doesn’t feel the same, calling it the worst-case scenario.

Alison notes that the Elite 8, er 7, is not dead, just struggling. Dana, on the other hand, says the supposed alliance is nonexistent for her. If this statement were to be made public within the house, it would surprise exactly nobody.

To prove that everything old is new again, we get the obligatory "Let Go Check Out the Head of Household Room" moment where everyone goes in pretty much just to see the new stuff that's there for the new HoH, which is, for this week, the former nominee Mr. Jee. Why do they do that? I'm pretty sure the producers make them do that as some sort of bonding ritual, but for the life of me, it's starting to get a bit old, don't you think? [On the other hand, what else do they have to do? - Assistant Editor]

Jee kindly offers to those present the use of the room should they ever need a moment of privacy. This, of course, could be for a moment when you just need to get away from your other housemates and throw pillows against the wall in a fit of unrepressed anger. It could be for a moment to say your prayers, should you be Muslim. Or it could be for a moment for you and another HouseGuest to have sex in front of a worldwide audience right before one of you gets eliminated from the game, but only if one of you promises to get violently ill in the middle of it and have to throw up. Of course, you would still go on having sex afterwards.

And while we're on the point of talking about Dave and Amanda having sex, let me go on the record by saying it's a little creepy for Dave to mention his grandmother watching the live feeds of him having sex with Amanda. Am I wrong here in saying that? I mean I know some people go through a Harold and Maude stage in their lives (not me thank goodness), but that's just a little gross. Even for me.

So back to the recap: Jee makes this offer and his Jun immediately finds a place on my "Who the hell are you and why are you being such a complete ass?" list. Of course, she's his ex and I can immediately see why he dumped her. She's making an asinine comment to the women that all they need to do is show up in his room half naked and he wouldn't have the foggiest idea of what to do - clearly hinting that in the bed department, Jee is a complete zero (and yes, I totally bogarted that line from the musical Chicago because when you've seen it as many times as I have, well, you just start speaking in show terms). Jee properly questions why she is behaving as she is, but Jun just walks away with this holier than thou look on her face that you really just want to slap off her face. People like that really irk me, if you can't tell. I'm sure I'm going to have plenty to say about Jun in the coming weeks.

Of course, now the conversation turns to whether or not Jun is safe for the week, and Jee bluntly says that she shouldn't consider herself safe because she's not. But what does everyone pick up on - Jun is treating Jee like the proverbial dog poo that my neighbors fail to clean up off of the street. Nate even brings this up (and for the record, can I just say I don't see why the women are gaga over him or David as neither of them are really as hot as last year's trio of Eric, Roddy, and Jason and the only one that even comes close is Justin) and says that he doesn't want to see Jun go up on the block either but she has been treating him rather shabbily since he got into the house. Robert, however, seems to be siding with Jun, saying that Jee knows she was there for him when times got tough.