Big Brother 4, July 22: Pop! Goes The Dana

After Stock Booming Melodramatic Announcer #38 takes us back to when Benjamin Franklin decided to go fly a kite, something I’d like to tell some of these HouseGuests to do as well, and Jee nominates Erika and Michelle in black-and-white to make it official, the episode gets off to a classy start when Erika decides to let fly with some racial epithets, calling Jee a “Korean piece of sh*t” and a “fresh off the boat motherf**king immigrant.” WHOA!!! I mean, isn’t there normally a warm-up period before people start behaving badly? I feel like I got hit in the head with a line drive before I even reached my seat at the stadium! “He’s like a puppet, and people are telling him what to say,” rages Erika in the Diary Room. “You make me feel uncomfortable,” she mocks, moving her hand à la Señor Wences. She admits that she was very angry because she doesn’t think she makes people uncomfortable. She thinks maybe the real reason is that she’s quiet or because Jee’s aligned with her ex Robert, who gloats in the Diary Room that it was great to see her put up because it’s the only way he can win.

Jee heads out to the patio to give Erika the Big Brother Patented Bullsh*t Speech #47 about how the nomination was nothing personal. OK. You know what? I’ve reached my limit with this excuse. Unless you drew two names out of a hat, it’s personal. End of story. Jee goes on to say that he thinks she’s probably having a tough time feeling comfortable because of the presence of her ex, and he can certainly relate to that. Erika agrees that it’s hard for her to be herself under the circumstances. Jee says he’s going to let her breathe and that he’s still shaking from the nerves of having to nominate people. She’s fine, Erika protests. She tells us she’s playing a game and everything she says and does is part of her strategy. I’m a little lost as to how making brazenly racist statements is a good strategic move, but hey.

Fellow nominee Michelle is lying in bed being comforted by Alison and Dana. They tell her not to cry; she says she’s trying, but it was completely unexpected. She tells us she is soooooooooooo mad that she was chosen to be put up against Erika! You know, even when she’s enraged, she’s still about as menacing as Snow White. Some people are just destined to be sweet, I guess. Dana tells her it’s always scary and they’ll have to take Jun, Alison, and herself out before Michelle’s going anywhere! Dana then tells us that “they” have Michelle on a “need-to-know-basis” only, so she got blindsided. “You’re not going anywhere,” assures Dana.

The two nominees sit in the hammock and commiserate. “I have no food… I’m on the block… this is going to be the longest week of my life,” sighs Michelle. Erika tells her she believes in what goes around, comes around, and she’s not worried about it. She further tries to make Michelle feel better by pointing out that she’s only up to get Erika out. “Don’t even sweat it,” she smiles.

Jee tells us that the reasoning behind Erika’s nomination was simple: she doesn’t get along with anyone except Jack and Dave and his alliance members (Robert and Justin) don’t trust her. He wants to stick with the plan and make sure she leaves. He calls Michelle into the Head of Household Room and apologizes. She admits that she feels taken advantage of and points out that he must have felt the same way last week. She elaborates to us that it’s not so much that she feels she’ll be leaving as that she feels betrayed. Jee tells her he’s worked it all out so that she’ll be staying and that if, worst case scenario, Erika gets taken off the block through veto, Dana will go instead.

Let’s just repeat that one more time for emphasis.

Jee tells Michelle that if Erika gets taken off the block through veto, Dana will go instead.

One last time for the person in the fifth balcony.

Jee tells Michelle that if Erika gets taken off the block through veto, Dana will go instead.

Hold onto that thought.

Jee tells us he hopes Michelle will forgive him for using her as a pawn and hopefully it won’t backfire. Sheryl, Lori, and Tanya sit at home and throw back their heads and laugh hysterically. He assures her Jack and David have her back as well. Michelle tells him she knows she’s safe, but she’s still upset about being used as a pawn. That’s part of the game, he tells her. Jee I’m Starting To Believe My Own Press Releases pontificates that Michelle is very young and naïve and isn’t really playing the game, so if she does go it’s her own fault. Not that there isn’t some validity to that, but still, coming off of this conversation, it’s like, “You’re safe… you’re safe… you’re safe… eh, don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.”

Back to Erika ranting about her own nomination. She finds it strange that she was nominated and says it was clearly an emotional nomination based on Robert’s wishes. In the backyard, Jack tells her it was strange to hear her name called, but she points out that they’re so focused on her that he and Dave can use it to their advantage. They agree it’ll be close. Erika tells us that since she’s up against an ex, she hopes that the other remaining members of the Original Eight will stay true to their initial alliance. Erika wonders who would be put up if the Power of Veto were used. “Hopefully Dana,” says Jack without a moment’s hesitation. In voiceover, they note that Dana is adrift in no man’s land in terms of support and scared as we see a bug-eyed wildly gesticulating Dana in slo-mo no doubt saying that something PISSES HER OFF!