Big Brother 4, July 23: The Best Laid Plans of Morons…

Julie Chen is back, dramatic pivots and all. She tells us that it’s Day 19 inside the Big Brother house. Jee set out to evict Erika, and to ensure that he would look like an idiot on national television – um, I mean to ensure Erika’s departure, he put her up against Michelle, who was the least threatening and most unlikely be voted out. Because all viewers of Big Brother know that plans like this work every time. Well, nearly every time. Um. Okay, almost never. Especially when you are in the minority alliance.

We get some quick snippets of opinions. Erika is pissed off (I thought Dana had the trademark on that term) at Jee because he has no backbone (nor, apparently, anything at the top of the missing backbone) and is easily manipulated by Robert. For his part, Jee I’m Clueless is acting like he’s just following through with the plan everybody wanted, even though a succession of people came to him before Dave decided what to do with the Veto and asked him to change the plan. You’ve heard of people who can’t see the forest for the trees? Well, Jee can’t see the trees for the forest. He appears to have in his mind this image of “the group” wanting something, and can’t understand that if individual members of “the group” all come to him and tell him something different, that kind of has an impact on what “the group” believes. He doesn’t understand that “the group” does not have a mind separate from what the individuals in “the group” believe.

Getting back to the snippets, Michelle says she is really not worried but she wants this week to be over. Dana gave her word to Michelle that she wouldn’t vote her out, and she wants Erika to go because it would make her life easier. Robert insists again that the vote will be unanimous. If Jee can’t see the trees for the forest, Robert can’t see a flashing DANGER sign in front of his face.

David, however, can see everything clearly and says, “Jee is a moron.” He explains that people tried and tried to put Dana on the block, but Jee doesn’t seem to be playing to win. Jack adds that the exes don’t think there will be any votes for Erika – “they’re wrong.” For her part, Erika doesn’t know if she’s safe because everybody lies.

In a completely different strategy twist which just was slightly revealed to us the previous night, Jun says nobody realizes that she and Jee have any sort of alliance. I think that’s safe to say. But both say each other is the most important/strongest alliance in the house but they have to keep it secret. Jun tells him they have to be smart. When you’ve been together for six years, a look or gesture is understood. To top that off, they occasionally spoke in Korean so the others wouldn’t understand even if they overheard them. Jee says it’s a really good cover because they are exes – at which time we see them fighting in front of the others. Jun says they both played along that they don’t like each other and clearly there truly is underlying disdain. Ah, the basis for a beautiful alliance. Jee says he doesn’t really trust anybody in the house (what about puppetmasters Justin and Rob?) but he has to trust her for now. Then he goes all Hamlet on us – to trust her or not to trust her, that is the question. Oh please.

Time for Julie to check in with the HouseGuests to see how they are doing. She asks David and Robert how it feels to have exes on chopping block. Dave says it feels great and laughs. No, they get along and it was five years ago, so it feels the same whether she’s up or not. Robert says he feels the same way – it’s part of the game but he is happy she’s leaving. Note that phrasing – not that he’s happy she might be leaving. He’s happy that she is leaving. I just looked up “cocky” in an online dictionary. Sure enough, it has been updated to include Robert’s photo.

Nathan tells Julie that he has been barely holding up on the PB&J diet, and has cut out weights completely. Poor thing. Julie says Alison has become the Muhammad Ali of the house and asks who the tougher opponent has been, Justin or Nathan. She says Justin because he’s more her size. OK, I admit it, I don’t get it. But whatever, it’s not like it’s important to what’s going on in the house anyway.

Speaking of unimportant, Julie asks Jun about her talent with food and, in particular, the lettuce bikinis. Jun says she color coordinated it. Moving on. Jack is asked if any of his fellow HouseGuests would make good agents in the FBI. He says Justin, and possibly others.

Often in my recaps, I will hold the HouseGuest voting discussions to the end so as not to interrupt the flow. However, let’s look at them as they show up on the episode this time.

Alison says she likes to call Michelle “mini-me,” and she has Michelle go and listen to other conversations and report back to her. Meanwhile, she says Erika is an ally but eventually will be a threat.

Dana says Michelle is a girly girl. She says she is scared and the decisions she makes will affect a lot of people. She thinks the majority is safe, but a majority will turn on you. Yes, even crazy Dana understands this game better than Jee.

Speaking of not understanding the game, Robert says Erika is a player who could be strong, and she’s his ex so it has to be him or her. We actually get to see him vote to evict Erika, as if it’s a big surprise.