Big Brother 4, July 23: The Best Laid Plans of Morons…

Time for taped messages to Michelle. Dana says she knows this is hitting her like a brick in the face, she’s so sweet, etc., but she’s better off not being here. Dana notes that she’s the total opposite and it’s eating her up. David says he knows it was hard for her living there with him, but it was a pleasure having her there and he hopes they can continue their friendship outside. Alison will miss her – it’ll be hard to sleep without her. Jun, never one to worry about being all happy and light, says Michelle was a little flaky for her to count on, so she should go back to Boca and tan her butt off. Justin says he can’t really understand what could have happened if she is seeing this message, but he’ll miss her. Nathan wishes her the best and tells her to stay out of trouble. Jee and Robert probably didn’t bother to make tapes because they knew the vote would be unanimous against Erika.

Michelle gives her final thoughts, saying it’s so hard for her. Sniffle. If she wasn’t told so many times that she would stay, it would be okay. Sniffle. Does she feel betrayed? Yes. But she’s young and she’s sure – sniffle – that it will make her that much stronger. Her father and brother come out to give hugs as Michelle breaks out into full-blown tears. Awww. She’s so sweet. Clueless, but sweet. And not as clueless as Jee/Justin/Robert. As Julie leads us to another segment, Michelle’s microphone is still on and we hear her sobbing and sniffling.

But no time for tears in the house – it’s the HOH competition! Earlier in the day, they were randomly divided into three groups. Each group will be asked a question as they stand at a Jeopardy-like set-up. The first one to buzz in with the correct answer moves on. A person who buzzes in and is wrong is out. The winner of each group – the one who gets it right or is left standing after the other two get one wrong – faces off in the final round.

First up are the J’s – Jun, Justin, and Jack. The question: On the night the Jacuzzi was uncovered, how many people stepped in? Justin rings in with an answer of “13.” Bingo.

Next up are Alison, Erika, and David. In last week’s HOH competition, how many people tried to answer the first tiebreaker? David says three and is wrong. Next question: What color was Jee’s duck in the duckball competition? Alison says “blue” and is correct.

Robert, Dana, and Nathan are the third group. How many people voted to evict Amanda last week? Nathan buzzes in and says, “thirteen… uh, twelve.” Julie notes that he was incorrect – both times. Heh. How many total casseroles were there in the food challenge? Dana says 10 and is right.

The final round has slightly different rules. If they answer wrong, they are still out, but it’s the first to answer two correctly, or the last person standing, who wins. First question: How many people in the house are older than 30? Alison says three and is right. How many evicted HouseGuests get to vote for the winner of BB4? Dana buzzes in before Julie even finishes the question and says seven. She’s right. Here is where Julie should have learned something from real game show hosts. When Dana buzzed in, Julie should have stopped talking immediately and not finished the question. I think Dana would have still gotten it right, but why give her the benefit?

Anyway, next question is how many people will play in the next HOH competition. Justin says eight and is right. The next person to get one right wins. How many people left in the house have been nominees? Justin rings in and says one. Wrong. Jee and Erika equals two. Next question: Which bedroom in the house has the fewest beds? Alison says the “love room.” Julie, who obviously has not been watching the live feeds, doesn’t know which room that is. She asks which is the love room but then, before she can get an answer, says it’s incorrect anyway. The right answer is, of course, the HOH room. So nobody gets a second question right and Dana wins HOH by default! You can practically hear most of the house thinking, “Holy crap!” as the nightmare scenario comes true.

As we leave until Friday, we eavesdrop and hear Dana telling Jee that she meant everything she had said all week. Not sure exactly what that means, except perhaps that she meant she was pissed off when she said it about a hundred times. And Alison says she was nervous that her boobs would fall out on national television during the HOH challenge. With that thought, we end this episode.

And I leave you with this thought: What will it take for Big Brother players to learn from history? If you want somebody from an alliance gone, you nominate two people from that alliance, not one person from it and one from elsewhere. I could see a player making this mistake once, but this error has been made time and time again and you pretty much have to be a complete moron not to realize it. Then again, maybe I’ve just explained the problem.

Want to keep up with important events in the house? Check out our Big Brother 4 Spoiler Page for news on who wins contests and other ongoing info.

David Bloomberg is the Editor of RealityNewsOnline and can be reached at RNO@pobox.com.

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