The Amazing Race 4, Episode 9: Just When You Thought We Were Done with Poo…

Chillie are fighting at the Roadblock. Chuck says that they are always butting heads and Millie says he is resentful of her because she gives him orders and has been doing it for years. Wow, I didn’t realize Chuck was THAT under control! They finally finish the Detour and head out. Kelly & Jon arrive at the FF location and find a note saying it has already been claimed. Jon can’t believe it. Kelly says they now know they are finished. They get back to the road in the car and while they are driving, Kelly makes a comment to Jon, saying “So that's it, babe. We're out. You're always right. I'm always wrong,” and he tells Kelly to go f**k herself. Kelly tells Jon to never talk to her like that and gets out of the car. After a commercial, Jon & Kelly are both in the car again. Jon says he wants to be a perfect gentleman, but the Race isn’t charm school. Kelly says that the Race isn’t even fun anymore.

On their way to the caves, Chillie miss a sign and head off in the wrong direction. The Clowns get to the caves and find it’s a Roadblock that reads, “Time for the ladder part of the Race.” In this Roadblock, one person must climb a rattan ladder to a basket at the top that holds their next clue. Jon is going to do it for the clowns because in the circus he balances ladders on his face. How endearing. He starts the climb and says the steps are pretty far apart. He also states that there is bird poo everywhere. Wow, there sure does seem to be a “poo theme” on this season of the Race. First it’s digging in poo, and then it’s being dragged in poo, now it’s having poo drop on you from the ceiling. Eventually, the Clowns do get their clue and it tells them to drive to the pit stop, located at the Sepilok Nature Resort. As the Clowns leave, they see the Goats arrive.

Reichen & Chip get to the pit stop and check in first. They win a trip to “festive Latin America.” I want a trip! I’m glad they got the trip and the Fast Forward, however, I’m a little pissed that Kelly & Jon are pretty much done for. They are still my sentimental favorites, after all. Meanwhile, David performs the Roadblock for the Goats. He says the ladder is shaky and has a little trouble getting the clue. Chillie continue to be lost. Kelly & Jon finally get to the Detour and choose Haul. They are fighting because Jon says the other may be easier. The Goats finish up at the Roadblock and head for the pit stop. Kelly & Jon are doing the Detour and aren’t sure if they are loading the nut bunches in the right truck because their wheelbarrow is labeled “5” and the truck is labeled “C” - they completely miss seeing the big “5” right next to the “C.”

At this point, my friend Tom comes over. He has never seen the show before and we are going out later so he decided to stop by and have a few beers before we go out. As he watches all this going on with Jon & Kelly, he simply states that he hates Kelly. I have to go off on him and explain that she is my queen. He’s not hearing this. Anyway, Jon & Kelly never figure out Haul and move to Chop and start cutting down branches. Chillie are still lost at this point. When he sees Chillie’s “Dating 12 Years/Virgins” screen label, Tom asks why they have been dating for so long. I tell him 12 years is a long time, especially being virgins. Tom informs me he thought it said Virginia, not Virgins, finally making sense of everything because he had no idea why it would say where they are from. We both get a good laugh out of this.

Jon & Kelly cut down one branch and it has an empty envelope. They cut down another and it has the clue. They head to the caves. Chillie finally get back to being on the right track and realize how far they went out of the way. They eventually get to the caves. Guess what - Kelly & Jon get to the caves at the same time. Chillie see Jon & Kelly and start to panic, Kelly & Jon get their second wind, and I’m jumping out of my chair! Both teams get to the Roadblock with Jon and Chuck choosing to do it for their teams. They both get suited up quickly and Chuck is off first with Jon right behind him. They both scurry up the ladders. Millie is so nervous she needs a puff from her inhaler and Tom sympathizes for her because he has asthma as well. Then, we cut to the Clowns checking in as team number two.

Chuck and Jon are both heading down the ladder with Jon moving a bit faster. Both teams get to the bottom and rush to their cars to get to the pit stop. Jon & Kelly are out first with Chillie literally right behind them. Kelly is a motormouth of excitement as she goes on and on about beating Chillie. Millie says they aren’t sure of where they’re going. Kelly tells Jon she knows exactly where the pit stop is because it’s by the Sanctuary they went to earlier when they were trying to claim the FF. Chillie say they plan on following Jon & Kelly to the pit stop and sprinting to the mat. Just then, the Goats check in third.

Chuck can’t find the gear on his car and panics. Jon notices this and drives faster. Chuck finally finds the gear and catches up. They enter the Reserve and continue to look for signs. Both teams are panicking because they know it’s going to be a sprint. They are right! Sprint to the finish - Kelly & Jon are there first!! I almost die of excitement. They are told they are team number four. Chillie, not giving up, run to the mat. Phil tells them they are last and that they are eliminated from the Race. They look so disappointed - especially Millie. She cries. Phil asks them if they have come to any conclusions because of the Race. Millie thinks that they learned about themselves and even though they are alike, they are very opposite as well. They don’t know if they are the ones that will make each other happy. Chuck says that both of them are stubborn and it’s hard to keep peace in the relationship. Millie says that they may go different ways because their future isn’t certain. Chuck says that if that’s the case, Millie will always have a special place in his heart. I decide that I like them. However, if they had beaten Jon & Kelly to the pit stop, I would have hated them forever. Next week, teams head for the ultimate plunge and get a taste of new cuisine. Also, some get lost on the Korean border!

Time for some comments from the peanut gallery, also know as “me.” First off, if the Goats are eliminated next, then I picked the top three, and that will be a miracle. Kelly is the last female left in the Race and I’m so proud of her. Jon & Kelly really overcame a deficit this week and never gave up. I couldn’t believe it when I saw them catch up to Chillie. On another note, three out of four teams still have the Fast Forward option available so it will be interesting to see which one will go for it next. I’d like to see my two sentimental favorite teams cross the finish line and even though the Clowns are not sentimental favorites, I’m rooting for them as well. My guess is that next week is a non-elimination leg, but who even knows at this point? Guess we will have to wait and see!

Phil Kural is a senior at Temple University, and can be reached at pkural@temple.edu.

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