Big Brother 4, July 25: Better Late than Never

The food competition turns into a madhouse as everyone starts running madly around the yard trying to catch the parachutes, and they seem to be doing very well as they start to tally up their food winnings and discover that they do indeed have lunch on Burger King coming to them. The food arrives and it’s Whoppers, Chicken Whoppers, fries, and onion rings. There’s enough cholesterol on that table to kill a small village in three days. And considering that they caught all seven Burger King parachutes, that’s enough cholesterol to kill the small town of Yulee, Florida. Justin, being the big stud that he is, pulled in nearly two dozen. Those stuck on the all carb/PB&J diet for the last two weeks owe him big time.

Next stop in this episode: the I’m Stuck on Myself Tour hosted by Jun! On this tour, you will see Jun channel Nicole from Big Brother 2 and complain about how she has to do all of the cleaning in the house. Everywhere you look there are cups that need to be cleaned, plates that need to be washed, and, by God, the people who sleep the latest are the ones who are doing absolutely nothing to help her, the Queen of the House (her term, not mine), make it a more livable situation! OK - in her defense, she has a point, but after awhile, hearing someone talk about themselves and how much they do really gets annoying and you start to resent it. So I’m hoping for her sake at least it’s a temporary thing. Basically, she was talking about Nate and Alison, or as she calls them, “the blondes,” because they are spoiled since they just got out of college.

The next stop on the I’m Stuck on Myself Tour: the Diary Room. Here, Jun tells everyone why she’s the Queen of the House. She’s the best cook in the house and she makes everyone laugh. Out of everyone in the house, people get along with her the best. She’s also incredibly sexy and while all of the other women have their own unique qualities that make them special, Jun is the “complete package.” At this point, I’m slitting my wrists because I thought Marcellas was bad last year with his Diary Room diatribes, but this is starting to surpass even him!

The final stop on the I’m Stuck on Myself Tour is the Head of Household Room, where Jun is seemingly trying to get Dana to put her (Jun’s) ex up on the chopping block - well at least to me it seems like it. Jun thinks that Dana shouldn’t trust Jee and Robert and believes they would put her up on the eviction block in a heartbeat. To support that theory, Jun mentions a recent conversation with Jee where he started stuttering, which led her to believe that he was planning something without her and not just doing a Mel Tillis impersonation. Jun tells her to stick with the original alliance of eight - well, now seven - and things will be OK for her.

Jack comes in and pretty much tells Dana that she needs to get rid of Justin since he’s a strong competitor and that they should get rid of him early since they may not be able to beat him later on. He wants to her nominate Justin and Robert. Now, let me interject here for a moment. Of the Head of Household challenges we’ve seen so far, they have all been mental. So how can Justin be a strong competitor when they haven’t had to test their physicality in anyway? This isn’t Survivor, people!

Erika later sees Robert in the Head of Household talking to Dana. Now mind you, Erika probably didn’t hear what was being said, but she wants Robert to leave Dana alone. Of course, Robert isn’t going to go quietly, so he says he can talk to her if he wants to (and, as I say to the TV, as long as Dana doesn’t mind as well, since I still think he’s a used car salesman) and besides, he knows he’s heading up for a nomination this week anyway so why does she care? Robert retires to the Diary Room where he gets emotional thinking about his daughter and how there is just no place for him to go and get away from everyone. Man, I just hate it when they give me someone to dislike and then humanize them to the point where I start to care about them. Erika actually comforts Robert during this time and they come to some form of a peace agreement that seems shaky at best and I think Robert actually apologizes to her? Was I on crack when I saw that?

Dana comes out with the nomination box and she admits to liking the power she gets to wield but she has hated everyone coming to her to talk strategy (as if strategy weren’t part of the game?). She says she looked at everyone as individuals and not alliance members when she was making her decision whom to nominate. The first key goes to Jun, who in turn passes the box over to Erika after removing her key. Erika pulls out Robert’s key and spins the box over to him so he can pull out Jee’s key next. You would think that Jee would pull out Justin’s key next (or at least the fact that his would be closer to the beginning of the list given the “relationship” he has with Dana), but he pulls out Dave’s instead and it’s Dave that pulls out Justin’s key. Nathan gets the final key, which means Alison and Jack are nominated. Alison was nominated since the two of them don’t get along and neither knows where the other stands. Jack? Well, Jack is, apparently, a decoy. Sigh. Again, they don’t learn.

The reaction to this is mixed as Justin is ready to help Alison pack and leave, while Jack says that Dana has totally gone against the original alliance (as if that old chestnut were still around). Erika surmises that Dana may have cost herself the entire game. And of course, I’m sitting there screaming, “ONE WEEK A TIME, YOU PEOPLE! ONE FREAKIN’ WEEK AT A TIME!”

I swear, these people crack me up with all of their predictions of who will go and when.

Want to keep up with important events in the house? Check out our Big Brother 4 Spoiler Page for news on who wins contests and other ongoing info.

C. Brian Devinney is a human resources consultant from New York City. When not reporting on reality TV, he can be found rooting on his beloved Yankees or writing in his online diary, Tales From the City. He can be reached at TheRealityFactor@aol.com.

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