Big Brother 4, July 29: One Day at a Time, Sweet Jesus

Well apparently, the HouseGuests didn’t listen to me in my last recap, because I specifically instructed them to not plan things out so far in advance that they have no control over. But we’ll get to all of that in a few moments because we have to start off this episode with the obligatory recap from hell minus the vicious Julie Chen pivots (something that I am shocked our president hasn’t classified as a weapon of mass destruction and ordered the Big Brother house invaded by Girl Scout Troop #429 from West Covina).

Pretty much I just realized during that flashback from hell that Dana won her new HOH title by not being faster on the buzzer or knowing more than her competitors but the fact that her competitors (Alison and Justin) just bombed on their questions. So it was like being the last spinner on The Price is Right and having your two competitors both go over a dollar and you’re automatically in the Showcase Showdown. You sorta feel ripped off by it. Dana really didn’t outright win the Head of Household as much as she was probably just smart enough to not answer a question that she didn’t know and let the two bumbleheads beside her go for it and bomb out. Yes, Justin may be a bumblehead but he’s a cute bumblehead at that. Alison... well she’s just a freakshow.

Pretty much no one in the alliance of eight, I mean seven, eh, who can keep count anymore?... well the original alliance isn’t happy that Dana has formally broken ranks and sided with the exes and the Huey/Dewey/Louie (aka the HDL, aka Robert, Jee, and Justin) contingent. They all think that Dana has pretty much just cost herself the grand prize should she make it to the final two because as someone put it – she’s pissed off half the jury so why would they award her the money. Ya know, I thought the same thing when Will was up against Nicole in the finals of Big Brother 2, but everyone seemed to realize that he played the game upfront and with no pretense whatsoever. Things may turn around again, but having them sequestered before the vote – that’s gonna make it interesting.

Alison is, of course, pissed at her nomination. Why is everyone pissed when they get nominated? Can someone explain that one to me? You know it’s part of the game. You know that at some point you are most likely going to be on the chopping block. Why can’t these people just accept it and move on with the game and have some fun instead of being such whiny babies about it all? Alison just doesn’t even want Dana coming near her or talking to her or anything otherwise she will be forced to put her hands around Dana’s throat and strangle her until her eyeballs pop out and can be used in a nice game of marbles with Nathan. Erika tells Alison that she thinks that Justin had something to do with her nomination since, after all, he’s her ex.

Of course, what I love the most is the Used Car Salesman. I have to be talking about Robert since he is so slimy and sleazy that he just oozes that stereotypical personality you would associate with a Used Car Salesman. Robert says that there are going to be no more surprises in the Big Brother house, which of course causes me to throw a shoe at my TV (knocking over my cable modem and temporarily knocking me offline). How can he say something like that? It’s been what? Three weeks? Three weeks and there will be no more surprises in the house? Has he seen any edition of Big Brother? Does he know what he’s talking about at all? I mean, Robert, if you have watched just about ANY episode of Big Brother, you should know that you should expect the unexpected. Wait. That was last season’s mantra. Well, anyway, it still holds true here!

Dana mouths off/whines/gets pissy/spontaneously combusts over the fact that Alison will not even speak to her. Again this is a common symptom of Post-Nomination Stress Disorder. No one ever wants to talk to the person who just nominated them for eviction. They either get really pissy and yell at them, stare at them incredulously, or just shut up altogether. Now, I know some of you are bringing up the bursting into tears portion of the disorder based upon reactions from Sheryl of BB2 and Amy of BB3, but those are just side effects. Dana tells us in the Diary Room that the power in the house has shifted yet again.

I am so sick and tired of hearing people talk about power in the Big Brother house as if it was something that had a stranglehold on. The closest that anyone has ever come to really having power is Danielle and Jason from BB3, but what good did that do for either of them since neither won the top prize. And the power shifts? Like you do in a manual transmission car? Where’s the clutch on this power and, for my sake at least, where the hell are the brakes? Everyone here thinks they have some little string of control when it comes to the power in the house and, frankly, after three weeks in the house, all I gotta say is that none of you really have power. Wait until it gets down to about six or seven of you. That’s when REAL power will come into play.