Last Comic Standing, Episode 9: Five Comics, Five Minutes, Five Results

Before diving into this week's show, one bit of reflection on Episode Eight and Geoff's departure from the program. Although Geoff was shown leaving with grace last week on the program, he was crasser when it came to his final remarks on the official NBC site for the show. While his comments about some of the others were obvious (having voted for Cory numerous times, it was understandable that he did not have anything nice to say about her), it was surprising how much venom he had about the others. Interesting comments none the less, however.

On a more personal note, apologies to Michel Justine for any typos that appeared in her media recommendations from last week. While in a hurry to get last week’s article ready, we inadvertently got sloppy with Michel’s recommendations, so blame us here at RNO for that one.

And on another personal note, hats off to Bob Hope for all the great years he has given the world of comedy. Yeah, we already covered Bob here in the columns a few weeks back, but it is with a sad note that we have to say goodbye to another comedy legend. There’s a great legacy there of material, however, and people really should go to the video stores this weekend and rent one of his films to see how great Hope could be at times. I personally recommend Son of Paleface and either Road to Morocco or Road to Rio, if you can find them.

Speaking of which, what’s up with NBC? The guy gives you 70 years of his life and you can only show a bumper ad in memory of him? Even CBS gave him a half-hour special, while NBC was running Fear Factor on Monday night. Have to hold off complete judgment there, however, as maybe they still plan to do something this weekend in honor of his dedication to the network. Sure hope so.

But enough about the news. We know everyone wants to know how the five did in their competition. One thing Mike and I both agreed on when putting this particular article together is that we’re not the comedians here. These comics tell a lot of funny stories, but it’s not our place to simply give away a bunch of punchlines that don’t belong to us. So this recap of the episode is actually going to be fairly light on gags from the show tonight, and more about how we think each comic did on the program. If you’re looking for all the jokes, you may want to look elsewhere (like the rerun that will air on Comedy Central); but we think a lot of readers will enjoy what we have to say about the show tonight.

The program, recorded July 23, begins with Jay Mohr being introduced to the audience at the Paris Hotel and Casino (I guess it really is “THE Paris;” then again, I always thought “The Batman” sounded cooler anyway). Jay tells the audience in the theater and at home what to expect on the show tonight: Each comic will come out and do five minutes and ONLY five minutes. If they go over five minutes, their microphone will be cut off. “Life’s tough, wear a cup,” Jay cracks.

Jay goes over the rules for the voting, which are very simple. At the end of the program, viewers can vote by phone for one hour. They are allowed three votes through each phone number they call out on and no more. They can also vote online at www.votenbc.com, until Midnight, Eastern Standard Time on Wednesday, July 30 (so if you are reading this on July 30th, you still have an opportunity to vote). As with the phone numbers, each email address will only allow for three votes and no more. This was probably thought of as a way to stop people from jamming the phone lines as has occurred on other programs. NBC also has additional rules about voting at their FAQ site, which actually makes for interesting ready. Basically covering all the bases possible there, including the erasing of votes from parties suspected of trying to “stuff the ballot box.” As Jay explains the rules, he makes a weird cupping of his hands movement that looks as if he wants to rub his hands together like Snidely Whiplash.

Jay then warms up the crowd with a couple of jokes about life in Las Vegas before introducing the first comic. When Jay hints that the first comic out will be Ralphie, the cheering starts, making it clear that the audience wants to see him. A brief interview segment is shown on a big screen in the theater, where Ralphie tells the camera that he’s pretty much ready for anything and, “if I win, I win. If I don’t, I don’t.”

Ralphie comes out to a standing ovation, which gets Ralphie off to a good start with a crack about “a standing ovation for the fat guy walking.” He then goes into a couple of things before reprising the “punk-ass-bitch(es)” line from the series and then going into a rant-like monologue about wanting cheap oil. It goes over well with the audience, who gives Ralphie another standing ovation. When he finishes, another standing ovation awaits him. Jay then comes out to announce the phone number people can call for Ralphie at the end of the show before the show cuts to commercial.