Big Brother 4, August 1: An Eye for an Eye, a Pot for a Kettle

OK - time out for a brief PSA. I recently quit smoking myself after smoking nearly two packs a day for fifteen years. The main thing is, you have to be adamant about wanting to quit for yourself. You can’t do it just because other people want you to. Once you’re at that point, more power to Jee if he can quit cold turkey, but I couldn’t. I lasted two days and went to some extremely dark and scary places psychologically in that time. This is what wound up working for me: I bought the patch in advance and prepared myself for the idea of using it. I waited until my last pack was finished so I wouldn’t have any temptations in the house (probably another reason my going cold turkey didn’t work), and then I put the patch on. The possibility of winding up in the hospital from a nicotine overdose was a good enough deterrent to keep me from smoking, which is why I chose that method. It wasn’t always a picnic, and I can’t say that I never had cravings. Justin is right in the sense that there are certain times when you get used to having a cigarette - a big one for me was walking places; I felt a little naked not having a cigarette while doing so. Others that I had are true for most people: after you eat (like Jee) and when you have coffee or alcohol; in all three cases I think it has something to do with how they affect the level of nicotine in your blood as well. But when you have the patch on, you know that your physical addiction is being taken care of, so any cravings are purely psychological and thus only require you talking yourself through them. I went through the three different levels and the last day, honestly, the patch had fallen off hours before I even noticed it. One last tip: the generic house brand you can get at places like Walgreens, Duane Reade, Rite Aid, etc., is all made by the same company and is not only significantly cheaper than the name brands, but actually works better - the patches stick better and the nicotine is delivered more consistently.

Anyway, that would be my advice to Jee - consider the patch instead. We know they can get it because they gave it to Kent in Big Brother 2 when he ran out of cigarettes, and the house is already stressful enough without adding nicotine withdrawal to the mix. At least, that would be my advice to someone under normal circumstances. Watching Jee flip out from nicotine withdrawal might prove sadistically entertaining.

That said, Gregorian chants take us to FILLER SEGMENT #5: Nathan and Alison’s Bible study group! Nathan tells us the only book in the house is his Bible. He and Alison cackle as he reads about money being the root of all evil. “We should leave right now then!” they laugh. Alison says they’ve bonded over the Bible and there’s a lot more there than people would think. Dana, conveniently glossing over the “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone” portion of the Good Book, rants to Robert and Justin in the bathroom that Nathan and Alison are having Bible study every day and it’s so unholy! Justin tells us he doesn’t understand Alison’s sudden interest in the Bible; he’s never known her to read it before and she doesn’t even understand what she’s reading! “Would you tithe if you won?” Nathan asks Alison. “Would I what?” she responds obliviously. (For the record, it’s the concept of giving one-tenth of your income to your church.) Justin finds it a little sacrilegious as well. Alison finds a key passage and asks Nathan if he thinks it pertains to their situation. “Hear me, oh God,” he reads. “Protect my life from the threat of the enemy… hide me from the conspiracy…” They burst into laughter. “Could it get any more perfect?” cackles Alison, and tells us Psalm 64 is her new favorite passage. They continue cackling as they finish reading the Psalm, then tell Jun to read it as well. Jun tells us that she read it, but they’re all here to play a game, not hide behind a book like the two of them are doing; she then laughs to Dana and Jee about how Alison kept comparing the “evil people sticking together” of the Psalm to their alliance. Of course, this is all Dana, who fancies herself a good Catholic unstable loose cannon, needs to start running around screeching that she goes to church every Sunday, and she and Jun run and find their Bible and start looking at what passages they’ve bookmarked. Dana rants to us that the Bible needs to be taken out of the house because it’s being used for unholy purposes! Alison tells us the big guy upstairs is obviously looking out for her, and we see her being saved by the veto and winning Head of Household accompanied by huge thunderbolts. “We’ve got the Lord on our side!” Nathan assures Alison. Dana rants to us that she’s surprised the Bible doesn’t burst into flames when Alison touches it! This sends me over the pot/kettle edge and I start praying for a booming heavenly voice to tell the whole lot of these heathens to shut up.

In the hot tub, Nathan asks Justin, Jee, and Robert why they hate Alison so much, besides her being Justin’s ex. Justin tells him she’s a pathological liar; if he had a nickel for every time she lied to him, he wouldn’t need to be on the show! Robert wants to know why Nathan saved her; Nathan tells them he thinks she’s a good girl and a good player. “Having a lying personality of a liar, one of the personality traits that goes along with that is she’s fake,” Justin points out to him, bucking for Most Convoluted Sentence 2003. He doesn’t know for certain that Alison is playing Nathan, but points out that she’s one “smart ass bitch.”

Alison takes Jun into the Head of Household Room and tells her she knows Dana is after her; Jun pooh-poohs that everyone is a threat in their own way. Alison tells her the only person 100% safe from nomination right now is Nathan - she’s even considering Erika and Jack. She proposes a deal to Jun - she won’t nominate her if Jun won’t nominate Alison when she gets Head of Household. Jun agrees as long as the deal only pertains to next week and doesn’t extend to include Nathan, because she very well may nominate him for being a huge threat. Alison says that’s fine. Jun asks if she’s sure she’s comfortable with that considering that Nathan saved her. “Mmm-hmm,” nods Alison as the music builds to a maniacal crescendo. “I don’t trust anyone in this house. No one. Except for myself,” Alison declares to us.