Big Brother 4, August 1: An Eye for an Eye, a Pot for a Kettle

Justin then enters the Head of Household Room for his conference. Alison asks who he honestly wants gone; he tells her Nathan and Erika. She tells him that they all want him out, but she’s told him from the beginning that she’s not after him and if he can trust her, she’ll stick to that as long as he returns the favor. She tells him she really wants Dana out and the only thing she can figure is putting him up against her as a pawn. To his credit, Justin doesn’t start beating her over the head with Meow Meow and screaming, “ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FREAKING MIND?!?” Rather, he calmly tells her, quite reasonably, that if that’s the case, she can’t get mad at him for putting her on the block against Nathan next week. She says he’d have to make sure she was safe in that case! Er… just like she’d be making sure he was here?!? He tells her he’d do what he could but there are no guarantees. She starts backpedaling and asks him if he’d even feel comfortable being on the block as a decoy. “I’d rather not be on the f**king block!” he quite understandably tells her. She assures him she’ll work something else out, then. She asks how he’d vote if she put up Jee or Robert against Dana; in both cases, he tells her, he’d vote for Dana to leave. She wants to make sure he wouldn’t seek revenge if his “girlfriend” wound up leaving; he assures her he wouldn’t and would be much more vengeance-minded if Robert or Jee left. Alison asks him to please keep his mouth shut about this; he agrees. She then snaps that people came back to her and told her he ran his mouth about things she told him; he protests he’s never done that. What really hurts, she continues, is that other people say things about her and he never sticks up for her! (Because everything that’s come out of her mouth about Justin has been 100% positive and flattering, mind you.) He points out that it wouldn’t look good if he went around defending Alison against every little slight, and furthermore, Dana is a lot more upset with Nathan than Alison; she says she can live with Alison but wants Nathan gone. Alison notes that Nathan thinks very highly of himself and Justin tells her Nathan is just as paranoid in his own way as Dana. Alison whispers that she thinks Nathan’s gay but very closeted - there’s no way he’s not, she laughs. We see a shot of Nathan shaving his arm. Justin laughs, then says he’s never hanging out with him again and he’s certainly a “fruitcake.” “Maybe he’s got a crush on you,” Alison teases, and they cackle some more. She says she’s keeping Nathan safe this week, but after that all bets are off; then tells Justin that if she doesn’t put him up this week, he can’t put her up next week. He agrees. Alison tells us that Justin is very intelligent and levelheaded and realizes that Dana is going to go this week and there’s nothing he can do to stop it. The antithesis of intelligent and levelheaded, Dana, then tells us that sure, it drove her nuts that Justin was in the Head of Household Room for a long time, but she knows he wasn’t cutting any deals because they’re completely honest with each other. WOW is she going to feel like an idiot when she sees some of these episodes. Justin says when it comes down to it, the guys are much more important to him than Dana.

OK - the episode had barely even finished airing before I got reader emails asking what I thought of the Alison/Justin conversation about Nathan. It’s complicated. I was all set to get on my high horse about it when I realized that although Nathan’s never pinged my own gaydar, he has that of some of the people on HamsterTime, the live feed board I visit, so one of his nicknames there is Oklahomo, or OkMo for short (which makes him sound like some sort of cuddly pet - "Not now; I've got to water the plants and feed the OkMo."). Now, that cracked me up, yet the whole Justin/Alison discussion pissed me off, and at first I couldn’t figure out why and thought it was a double standard. Then I realized - it's all about intent. The HamsterTime people aren’t homophobic (if they were I certainly wouldn’t be frequenting there); it's more coming from a place of, "Oh, honey, just admit it and everything will be cool!” Justin, on the other hand, literally said at one point that he would never hang out with Nathan again if he were gay, which is homophobic. To perhaps explain the distinction more, it's kind of like how back in college, before I came out, I'd hear that someone asked if I were gay and feel betrayed because I thought they were my friend but now I thought that meant they hated me, when looking back on it, that wasn't the case at all; they were just curious and it was cool to them either way. It obviously isn’t cool to Justin either way.

Alison’s intent, upon further thought, is murkier. If she were truly homophobic and truly believed Nathan was gay, she wouldn’t be constantly hanging out with him. She might, however, know that Justin doesn’t feel comfortable with gay guys and be telling him this to further pit him against Nathan for her own purposes. It’s hard to say. The truly sad thing, though, is normally racist and homophobic statements would get me up in arms, but with this particular group of HouseGuests it’s hard to even raise an eyebrow anymore because it just seems so par for the course.

Moving along, it’s time for the weekly Death Row segment! Nathan drawls to us that you could cut the tension with a knife! Robert confesses to us that he feels threatened! Dana avers that much as Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers once sang, the waiting is the hardest part! Jun notes to us that people are losing it - tempers are flaring, patience is frayed, and things are getting crazy! Justin shares with us that everyone’s pulling their hair out! Erika tells us that Justin’s fingerprints have been on every nomination thus far, so if they can cut the head of the monster, the monster will die! We see slo-mo footage of Justin looking more oblivious than monsterlike.

Alison grabs the keys from the Memory Wall, gets the nomination box, and goes into the Head of Household Room. “These keys are heavy,” she tells us. “They’re heavy with weight and they’re heavy with emotion.” Oh, GAG. I haven’t heard such a forced comparison since Pilar on Passions looked up at the sky and solemnly intoned, “Those storm clouds came out of nowhere… like the trouble in Sam and Grace’s marriage.” Alison yaks on about how hard it is that her actions will eliminate one person from the house. Oh, WHATEVER, Ms. “She should just walk out the door right now! I’m going to be a BITCH!”

She places the keys in the box and gathers everyone around the kitchen table. Ms. “They should all offer me deals not to put them up!” actually manages to say, “I don’t like the position I’m in” with a straight face. She goes on to give the standard Reality TV Elimination Spiel #17: harder than you’d think; difficult choice; nothing personal; only a game; had to choose two people, yak yak. She gets the ball rolling by revealing Jee is safe. In short order, Jack, Nathan, Robert, Erika, and Justin are revealed to be safe, leaving Dana and Jun as the nominees. Alison tells Dana it’s just an eye for an eye; she honestly likes her as a person and thinks she’s cool, but she betrayed her and she feels it’s her “duty” to go after her. As for Jun, who fakes crying, then laughs, she’s mainly up to ensure she won’t veto Dana or vote for her to stay. With that, she apologizes to them and adjourns the meeting.

“The focuth hath definitely been taken off the exeth,” says Jun, who apparently has briefly morphed into Sylvester the Cat. She goes on to tells us she’s pissed that she’s on the block when none of the exes are. Well, you know, that’s what can happen when you align yourself with them. Robert’s thrilled at the nominations because it keeps his alliance with Justin and Jee alive, man! Yeah, but only for this week if someone doesn’t use the veto. “THIRTY-FOUR, ha ha ha!” continues the Count. Jack thinks this is going to come back to haunt their alliance and that Alison made a huge mistake. Dana tells us she wants the veto more than anything! Oh, this from the same woman who’s been harping about how people shouldn’t use the veto because it’s disrespecting the Head of Household?!? “Don’t ever try to take me down!” she menaces. “I’m not out of this house until I have to walk out the front door!” Yeah, and I’m not through writing this recap until I stop pressing my fingers against the keyboard. Her point? “If I stay, she’d better sleep with ONE EYE OPEN!” she vows. Oh? Threats of violence from the same woman who was supposedly terrified for her safety when Scott threw the chairs? I never thought I’d see the day when I’d be glad to hear Stock Booming Melodramatic Announcer #38, but he mercifully cuts in before Dana can pull another hypocritical statement out of her ass, such as how much she hates people who ****ing swear, **** it! He wants to know who will win the Power of Veto - and will they use it to save either Dana or Jun? I want to know if I’ll suffer permanent brain damage from banging my head against the wall.

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Brian James is an actor/writer/singer in New York City and the Assistant Editor of RealityNewsOnline. An avid reality show, Passions, early Ryan’s Hope, retro music, and Internet discussion board junkie, he can be found holding up "Will Snark For Food" signs in subway stations as he continues to search for that elusive "day job." Brian would like to stress that his writings are based solely on what he sees in each episode of each show, and realizes that there may sometimes be more to the story and that people may behave quite differently under normal circumstances. Comments and cybertomatoes accepted at BrianJamesRNO@earthlink.net.

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