Big Brother 4, August 8: Hubris ‘R’ Us

“Can the peasants come in?” laughs Nathan as he enters the Head of Household Room, telling us he was going to try to cut a deal with Justin. Nathan gives them this long convoluted spiel that basically boils down to that he’s harmless because if they spare him this week, he won’t nominate them next week if he wins Head of Household, and if they or anyone else win, they can just nominate him then instead, so they should get Jack or Erika out instead and he won’t use the veto on them if he wins it. Yeah, it makes about as much sense to me, too. They manage to tell him it’s something to think about with a straight face before collapsing into hysterics the minute the door is closed behind him. Nathan tells us all the trust is gone in the house and it’s himself versus everyone else as he slips into the Slow Motion Walk of the Damned.

If it’s 51 minutes into a Friday episode, it’s time for the weekly Everyone’s On Pins And Needles Awaiting Nominations segment! Various people on both sides yak about how nothing’s secure and it’s nothing we haven’t heard a million times before, except that Jack tells us he feels Justin should nominate Alison with Nathan because he won’t be able to trust her.

Justin sighs as he regards the Memory Wall and tumbles headlong into Overanalyzationland. He notes to us that now that he’s in this position, as he sees all the smiles in the pictures, he begins to realize that some of them are conniving smiles (close-up of Alison’s picture) and some are sincere smiles (close-up of Jee’s picture). He neglects to mention the “OK, let’s get this taking my picture thing over with” smiles (most likely all of them). The people who betray you (close-up on Nathan’s picture)? Well, their pictures are eyesores that you stay away from! At this point, the house psychiatrist pulls Justin aside and asks him if he feels the pictures are talking in a language only he can understand or trying to send him a message in any way.

He grabs the keys off the wall and heads into the Head of Household Room and regards the nomination box. He tells us that some keys seem to fit into the box easier than others, and that some of them belong there and some of them don’t. I had a toy like that when I was four. The star really doesn’t fit in the oval hole - which, come to think of it, would make a good title for my autobiography. Justin tells us that he wishes he could take three people out at once and that he hated having to put some of the keys in the box. Ye gods, he’s a SERIAL NOMINATOR!!! Run, Little Liza! He realizes that leaving someone’s key out of the box is shattering their dreams, but you’ve got to be selfish! And I’m sure he agonized over it for all of 0.23 seconds.

He rounds everyone up and brings them to the NOW SMALLER table for the nomination ceremony. Oh, good Lord, he’s dragging out Reality Constestant Speech #14, which REALLY needs to be retired: he’s playing with HONESTY! And INTEGRITY! And he values TRUTH! Oh, cram it, Abe Lincoln. Yak yak nothing personal, just a game, recognizes that if people lie inside the house that doesn’t mean they’re liars outside, yadda yadda, and finally he starts the key pulling. Robert is safe, followed by Jun, Erika, Alison, and Jee, which leaves Nathan and Jack as the nominees. Justin tells them that he likes both of them as people, but they’re strong players on the other team and ultimately both of them didn’t hesitate to lie to his face and he can’t look past that. I’m utterly baffled as to what he’s referring to. That they voted Michelle out? That was Alison, Erika, and Jun as well. That they told him they weren’t going to go after him? What else were they supposed to say? Eh, who knows.

JeeI’mAnObsequiousLapdog yips that Justin made the right decision. Justin tells us he’s going to work hard to win the veto and leave his nominations intact. Alison tells us winning the veto would put her in an awkward position because she’d feel obligated to use it on Nathan to return the favor. Looks like someone’s going to be throwing the competition. Jack moans to us that the alliance is in shambles - they’ve gone from eight to four and now it’s going to be three! I hate to break it to him, but it’s most likely already down to just two. Nathan tells us that he has a good feeling that he’s going to get off! Well, bully for him, but how does he feel about his nomination?

Brian James is an actor/writer/singer in New York City and the Assistant Editor of RealityNewsOnline. An avid reality show, Passions, early Ryan’s Hope, retro music, and Internet discussion board junkie, he can be found holding up "Will Snark For Food" signs in subway stations as he continues to search for that elusive "day job." Brian would like to stress that his writings are based solely on what he sees in each episode of each show, and realizes that there may sometimes be more to the story and that people may behave quite differently under normal circumstances. Comments and cybertomatoes accepted at BrianJamesRNO@earthlink.net.

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