Cupid, Episode 5: The First Elimination

This week’s episode begins with the revelation of the name of the first man to be eliminated by the call in votes of the viewers. Host Brian McFayden starts us off by greeting the 10 men vying for the opportunity to wed the lovely Lisa Shannon. Lisa then steps out from backstage and takes a seat between her two friends, Laura Restum and Kimberly Tarter. The guys, seated onstage, are each holding arrows as the symbol of Cupid’s matchmaking. Once a man is eliminated, his arrow is rendered useless by being broken in half as a symbol of something that really shouldn’t be explained in a family friendly article.

Brian summons the two men with the lowest votes to center stage to face America. This week they are Ken and Rob, who both seem to be recovering from the shock that neither one of them is Robert the wooden Austrian hunk who appears to be considering a run for Governor of California as he sits smugly onstage. With little fanfare, Brian sends Ken back to his seat with the others and reaches for Rob’s arrow. With a quick snap that made the six men in the country who actually watch this show wince in pain, Rob’s arrow hangs limp and useless. He says a quick and polite goodbye to Lisa, who tells him she wants to take him up on the golf match he had promised her and that she hopes to see him after the show is over. I hope her new husband doesn’t mind. I guess we should add “a complete lack of jealousy” and “total trust” to the growing list of things that Lisa will require from her hubby.

No Simon Cowell project is complete nowadays without a weekly theme, and Cupid is no exception. This week, each of the men must take Lisa on a date that reveals something about his hobbies. First up is:

Joe

Joe likes to look at expensive real estate in his spare time and fantasize that he can actually afford to live in such places. We see a videoclip of him and Lisa meeting up with a realtor. Joe introduces his “wife Lisa” and reveals that lying is another one of his hobbies. They look at a couple of swank pads and end the date with a friendly smooch.

We cut back to the studio to find out what Lisa’s friends think of the date. At this point in the series I feel I know Lisa well enough to consider myself a friend (no, not really, but work with me here!) so I will also add my opinion of each date.

Laura: I like the fact that you’re a take-charge guy without trying to control everything. I just adore you!

Kimberly: For Lisa to mention seeing kids around is a very good sign. I want to see you here next week and for many weeks to come.

Me: His hobby is a bit offbeat and unique, which is not necessarily a bad thing. But I really don’t like the fact that he drew Lisa into his hobby by getting her to lie to the agent about their marital status. Any lie at this point in the courting should raise a red flag and they should be keeping a close eye on some possible honesty issues with Rob.

Rob is speechless for a moment and Lisa helps him by mentioning that her parents used to take her house hunting when she was a child and that this was a great date. Rob gets control of his thoughts and says, “I hope some day we can take our own kids looking for houses.”

Evan

Evan’s hobby is learning about new hobbies (copout alert!) and he takes Lisa ice skating, which he says he knows absolutely nothing about. They clown around on the ice for a bit and then snuggle quietly, talking about their personalities as children. He tells her that he was always quiet at home but a bit of a class clown at school, and she confesses to being mature and responsible, caring for her baby brother when she was only six. Evan tries a couple of times to get some liplock activity going, but Lisa turns her head away. Back at the studio, the audience responds positively to the date, but the opinions that count belong to Lisa’s friends:

Laura: I love that you went skating and the whole introvert/extrovert thing is working for the two of you.

Kimberly: I may have been wrong about you last week. This date was extremely romantic and I see an attraction between the two of you. I hope America keeps you around.

Me: There was definite chemistry in the date and I think that Evan showed he has his priorities in order by taking the time to listen to Lisa describing her childhood, but her almost bashful reaction to his attempt at kissing her makes me wonder if she isn’t really feeling it on a physical level.

Lisa smiles widely and says that opposites really do attract. Evan, expecting to be crucified by Laura and especially Kim, gives Kimberly a voodoo doll. Kimberly, obviously pleased at getting some notice and camera time from the scenery chewing Laura, practically glows as she accepts the gift.

Renda

Renda is a street poet by vocation and takes Lisa to a secluded place where he has set up a poetry lesson for her. Now, many white collar career men have difficulty separating their work lives from their leisure time, but this is the first time I’ve seen such Type A behavior from a street hustler. At first, the more he gets into his art, the more Lisa’s eyes glaze over. After a short while, though, they write a poem together and tie it to balloons to release it into the world. Renda then teaches Lisa how to rub noses in an Eskimo kiss.

Laura: You really came through! But last week it was the zerbert, and this week it’s an Eskimo kiss. I’m curious… what’s next, butterfly kisses? When are you going to show us the real thing?

Kimberly: You won’t have to worry about me overusing the word “connection” because I just don’t see much of it between you two.

Me: He’s offbeat and a bit too much of an oddball. If my daughter were to bring him home to meet me, I’d hope he was just a brief dalliance on her part and that she’d be bringing me a more serious suitor in the months to come. He has shown himself to be more than willing to cater to her wants (shaving off his soul-patch, for example), but at some point the real world is going to punch him right in the arts and it won’t be a pretty thing.

Renda tells the women that they are entitled to their opinion of them, but Lisa seems angry about Kimberly’s comments. “Kimberly has been wanting a creative guy. You bring something creative and she’s ripping you for it. Don’t listen to her!”