Big Brother 4, August 13: The Live Eviction Vote

We begin the eviction episode this week with the usual recap. First, man discovered fire. Eventually, the television was invented. Then Big Brother came along. Justin won HOH and nominated Jack and Nathan. Whoa – the broadcast starts skipping. “First steps toward elim- First steps toward elim- First steps toward elim-…” Finally, something amusing from a recap! Anyway, Robert won Veto, egos were flexed, and the Veto was not used. Who will be the next HouseGuest eliminated? We’ll find out within the hour!

Now it’s time for Julie Chen to recap everything we just heard in the recap, for those of us with really short attention spans or memory problems. Seriously, one extra-long recap is bad enough – but two?! Come on, folks. I honestly can’t believe that a bunch of producers sat around and said, “OK, first we’ll have the announcer recap everything that ever happened, then we’ll do the show’s intro, and then we’ll have Julie recap everything again!” Wow, what a great idea!

OK, enough of that. Let’s get to the current episode. As things have progressed since the nomination and unused Veto, Jack has been lying low while Nathan has been scrambling to save himself. Meanwhile, Robert tells the other Stooges that everyone in the house is such a mess except them. You know, it’s a good thing they have already evicted some of the HouseGuests, so there is extra room in the house for the Stooges’ egos. Sheesh.

Alison says it’s like Revenge of the Nerds. She doesn’t know quite how they got into this position, but she’ll let them get rid of some of the scrap meat, like Jun and Jack and Erika.

Speaking of Jun, she tells Nathan that he shouldn’t trust Alison. Duh. Thanks for the newsflash, Jun. And, hey, did you know that Dana is psycho? And Dave is a goofball? Anyway, Nathan immediately tells Alison, who turns around to get mad at Jun! She asks Jun why it’s necessary for her to tell Nathan not to trust her. Jun clarifies that she didn’t say that, just that she said not to trust Alison 100%. Oh, well, that makes it all better then. Justin chimes in that Alison should tell Nathan to quit acting like a baby. Nice. So, of course, Alison tells him. Nate gets pissed and goes back to confront Justin. It’s like a bad game of tag! Anyway, Justin and the other guys blame Alison for always telling them that he’s whining, so that’s why they said it, even though they never actually heard him whining. Um, so then shouldn’t you blame yourselves for basing your comments on a known liar? No, of course not, because nothing is ever their fault.

Anyway, Nathan turns on Jun and says that as long as people are calling each other out, she’s a little snake who floats from group to group and tries to stir things up. Jun just sits there and accepts his attack without really responding. She thinks it made him mad that way. I know if I were him I would be mad. Argue, dammit! Don’t just sit there! There is no satisfaction in slamming somebody who just sits there.

Later, Nathan goes back to the HOH room, but this time to talk to Justin alone. He says they have been going at each other because of a girl – why are we letting “freaking Ali” do this to them? Why don’t they team up?

As the discussion goes on, Alison reports to Jack and Erika that Nathan is in the room alone. She goes to hang around outside the door and see what she can hear.

Nathan promises to put up anybody Justin wants if he sticks around. Nathan says he has no alliance with anybody now – Alison was the only one he trusted and that trust is gone. Nathan further promises not to put up the Stooges if he wins HOH. Justin says if it were up to him alone, he’d say okay, but there are others to talk to. Next we see him and Stooges with Jun. They all seem to like the idea.

Switching to live, it’s time to check in with the HouseGuests. Julie Chen has questions for them. Jun, how do you think Justin and the boys handled their position of power? She says they handled it the way she expected, like three boys. There was a lot of boy time and they left her out a lot, but they let her know what was going on, which was the most important thing to her. Still, it was like a boys club.

Moving on, Julie tells Jack he was a very cute strawberry in the last food competition. Will he ever live it down with the FBI? Jack says he hopes he can work undercover in the Middle East as a strawberry. Heh.

Jee is asked how happy he is that the house, including Justin and his stinky shorts, won laundry service? He says they are all happy that got it and claims it was really just one day that Justin’s shorts “stank like butt.”

While the nominees will have their chance to speak later, first Julie wants a couple HouseGuests to have a chance to speak to them. Erika is asked if there is anything she wants to say to roommate Jack if he is evicted. She says that she said everything already. Jack knows he’s like her dad in the house. Then she tears up.

Alison is asked if Nathan, “your frequent bedmate—” At this point Jun and several others crack up. Huh huh huh. She said bed. Huh huh huh. Wait. Sorry. Wrong Butthead. Anyway, Julie pushes past the interruption and asks if Alison has anything to say in case he goes. She says Nathan has been really awesome. He was her best friend in the house (which would explain the knife with her fingerprints sticking out of his back), like her brother (which would explain the earlier makeout sessions), and she’ll miss him if he goes. (Two-faced bitch.)