Big Brother 4, August 16: Bullet With Stooges’ Wings

However, it’s not like she’s sitting around idle herself; she and Alison take a daily 45-minute walk around the yard and then the two of them do abs classes with Jun, who tells us that while she’s not the best-looking in a bikini, she sees a definite improvement in her abs. Jee tells us it’s fun to watch the girls do their abs exercises because of all the risqué-looking movements; Alison notes that now the boys want to join in (as we see Jee and Jack exercising with them), so they add on and make it more tough; Jee screams in pain as he tries to keep up. Justin doesn’t feel the need to participate in abs classes, but admits they’re fun to watch. Slacker. We then learn that Jun apparently makes her abs exercises double as Clairol Herbal Essences commercial auditions. Jun tells us that she loves abs classes and the satisfaction she gets from “glistening” - she doesn’t sweat, you see; she “glistens”! Oy.

In the Head of Household Room, Erika tells Alison it’s hard being Head of Household. She tells her she likes Justin (“He’s cool - I dated him!” Alison sympathizes), but he’s a huge threat in this game so he has to be disposed of. Alison snickers that Robert told her that even if Justin leaves, they’re not mad at Alison; Erika emphatically says Robert’s next. “Oh yeah - definitely!” laughs Alison.

Meanwhile, Jee pulls Justin aside to talk alone, which Justin tells us was awkward. He fills Justin in on the deal he made with Jack and Erika in the cage and explains that he didn’t think he could outlast Erika. He thinks that if one of the three of them needs to go, the two of them should get Robert out because he’s done the least to help them out and the two of them can’t keep dragging him along. I’m assuming he means Robert’s attitude or something because Robert did win two competitions, even if they were Power of Veto as opposed to Head of Household like Jee and Justin. Jee tells Justin that Alison told him they should vote Robert out; Justin tells us he knew the three of them splitting up would happen eventually and it always happens sooner than you’d think. Jee reiterates that he’d rather help Justin than Robert if he had to make a choice. Justin tells us he takes it as a compliment - they’re the strongest alliance in the house, so people have to break them up.

Out on the patio, Jee tells Alison that one of the three of them are most likely going to be leaving this week, so where does that leave Alison in terms of loyalty? She tells him that she’ll stick with them if they’ll have her, as long as she doesn’t get doublecrossed. Robert assures her that she’d be taking the place of whoever leaves as a solid alliance member and he wants Jun gone next anyway. He tells us it’d be great if Erika nominated Jun! It’d be great if I had beachfront property in Malibu as well; both are about as likely to happen. Robert wants Alison to promise that she’s solidly with them and won’t flip-flop back to the other side if they lose power; she assures them she’s not like that! Then she tells us that’s exactly her strategy: keep both sides happy and go wherever the power goes. Alison Irwin: the remora of Big Brother 4. They all agree to keep this a secret, then Alison tells us her deal with them wasn’t that much of a deal. She then throws a towel in slow motion to symbolize the caution she’s throwing to the wind. Or something.

Awwww. The poor Zoloft ball needs help - he can’t even enjoy partying with his fellow balls or eggs or rocks or whatever they are anymore! As opposed to having to socialize with most of these HouseGuests, in which case depression and anxiety would be perfectly understandable.

In the weekly Pre-Nomination Anxiety Because No One’s Safe segment, Jack tells us it’s getting harder further into it because people have to turn on each other, Alison shares that no one knows what’s going on even though everyone thinks they know, Jee frets that Erika might not keep her word and he could wind up on the block; and Jun feels a little sick because she doesn’t trust anyone 100% percent. Or maybe it’s the gefilte fish.

Erika does the requisite Memory Wall Regarding and tells us she feels very emotional at being responsible for someone’s ouster, but knows that it’s part of the game. I like Erika, but at this point, I’m thinking she could feel very emotional at a pin dropping. She takes the keys down from the memory wall and arranges them on top of the nomination box in the Head of Household room like so many dolls. She tells us when she came into this house, she promised herself she would nominate strategically, not emotionally, so she was thinking about strategy and also where Jun would fit into the whole scenario. She gathers everyone for the nomination ceremony.

She reiterates to everyone that she’s nominating strategically, not emotionally, then takes out the first key to reveal that Jack (huge shock) is safe. Alison, Jee, and Jun are revealed to be safe in turn, leaving Justin and Robert as the nominees. Erika tells them both she nominated him because they’re strong players and huge threats who are also aligned, and she’s here to break up alliances. She explains it’s nothing personal and she likes both of them very much, and with that adjourns the meeting.

Erika tells us she came into the house to win the $500,000 and thus she has to take people out and that’s the name of the game. Justin tells us he refuses to throw in the towel and will be fighting for the Veto. Alison hopes both sides will attack each other rather than come after her. Robert snots to us that Erika is being the bitch she can be! Oh? And your campaigning to get her out in Week Two was different how exactly? Jee, huge shock, feels regret, like he betrayed the alliance, yadda yadda zzzzzzzzzz... Stock Booming Melodramatic Announcer #38 wonders who will win the Power of Veto - and will they use it to save Justin or Robert? Not if they have a brain in their head they won’t; it’s in the best interest of almost everyone to see the Three Stooges broken up. (If you want to find out who wins and what they do, click on the spoiler page link, below.)

Like I said, this was a highly enjoyable episode that was tightly plotted with a minimum of filler. I’ll be gone next week, but I’ll be back two weeks from now to see how everything winds up playing out!

Want to keep up with important events in the house? Check out our Big Brother 4 Spoiler Page for news on who wins contests and other ongoing info.

Brian James is an actor/writer/singer in New York City and the Assistant Editor of RealityNewsOnline. An avid reality show, Passions, early Ryan’s Hope, retro music, and Internet discussion board junkie, he can be found holding up "Will Snark For Food" signs in subway stations as he continues to search for that elusive "day job." Brian would like to stress that his writings are based solely on what he sees in each episode of each show, and realizes that there may sometimes be more to the story and that people may behave quite differently under normal circumstances. Comments and cybertomatoes accepted at BrianJamesRNO@earthlink.net.

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