Cupid, Episode 6: Sleepless Beauties

The theme for this week’s Cupid is sleep deprivation. Each of the remaining suitors gets a date with Lisa Shannon, but only after having been kept awake for at least 24 straight hours. The idea is to see how the men can handle themselves in adverse conditions. Will they get cranky? Silly? Will one of them drive into a wall? Will Robert lose his accent?

But before we can get the answers to these questions we have to find out which of the men was eliminated by last week’s phone-in votes. We head to the stage where the live studio audience greets the nine remaining men. Host Brian then introduces Lisa and her two ever vocal friends, Kimberly Tarter and Laura Restum. Is it me or is Laura’s wardrobe even more elegant than Lisa’s?

Everyone takes a seat and we are shown a clip inside the house of the suitors where they are bemoaning that the wrong Robert got eliminated last week. They feel that the voters may have mixed up and meant to vote for Austrian Robert A. but got the phone numbers confused. Then they make a memory wall to pay tribute to those who have been eliminated.

We come back to the live audience after the clip segment and Brian announces the bottom three vote getters. They are FrankenKen and his two left feet, Scott the movie geek, and Renda the vagabond poet. Moments later we find that Scott has bombed and there will be no sequel. This actually bothers me a bit because I think his last date (a picnic featuring foods from Lisa’s favorite movies) was very creative and the three women made it clear that most of what made it a bad date was not broadcast on the show. Regardless, Scott stands with a Broken Arrow and a Titanic heartache as he exists to ponder What Women Want.

Now it’s time for the dates. Each of the men is given a thousand dollars. The money is for the date. All of it. In fact, their first stop is a clothing store where they must buy the entire outfit that Lisa will be wearing!

Ken
36 sleepless hours

First into the frying pan is Ken, who at first boasts that he’s shopped for women in the past but adds somewhat sheepishly that it wasn’t after he’d gone a day and a half without sleep! He picks out a stunning black spaghetti strap dress and a bright pink bra that he laments he will likely never see again. He couldn’t be more wrong. Lisa arrives for the date and the bra is visible sticking out of the dress in all the wrong places. As they arrive at the restaurant Lisa decides that something has to go and excuses herself to the ladies room. She comes back with the bra in her hand and Ken’s jaw all but falls into his soup. They share dinner and some small talk about their favorite foods and cap it off with a nicely romantic kiss over dessert. Back at the live show, Ken waits for the sharks to comment:

Laura: You do way better when you’re tired! You should pull all-nighters more often!

Kim: You finally showed us some personality!

Me: This date showed us more of Lisa than it did Ken. No, I’m not talking about cleavage, I mean that the date would have been a disaster if Lisa hadn’t had the good humor and grace to smile through the pink bra debacle. This date reveals her to be more of a catch than any of the men on the show could have anticipated.

Ken is so surprised at the positive comments that all he can do is stammer, “Lisa, the more time I spend with you the more I feel we have a connection.” Lisa gives him a big thumbs-up and it’s on to the second date.

Evan
(sleepless hours not revealed)

Evan isn’t coping quite as well with the lack of sleep as Ken. In fact, he berates the clerk in the store for showing him men’s clothing when in fact it’s a women’s only store! He gets increasingly frustrated trying to shop through his fatigue and finally settles on a camisole top and yet another noteworthy and noticeable bra. Lisa arrives and looks wonderful, but is obviously a little uncomfortable with the outfit. At this point she must be wondering if it’s possible for a male to pick out appropriate undergarments. Evan’s demeanor slides into giddiness and when she asks him to describe his ideal woman he says, “He name will rhyme with Schmisa.” They end the date in a parking lot where a dead on his feet Evan turns up his collar and slow dances with Lisa while singing Put Your Head on My Shoulder.

Laura: I’m not denying there’s an attraction between the two of you but I just don’t see you coming home every day to the kids.

Kim: I think there’s real hope for you!

Me: C’mon Laura, give the guy a break. What happens to you when you get no sleep? Do you stop being witchy and suddenly turn all warm and cuddly?

Evan: I’m really enjoying my time with you. You laugh at all my corny jokes and nobody else does.

Lisa: I totally think you’re ready to get married if to the right girl, which hopefully, I am.

Dominic
(sleepless hours not revealed)

Dominic begins his quest with a search for the perfect pair of pajamas. He spends quite a bit of time picking out the perfect pair of bottoms and finally settles on a pair that looks as if they were spray-painted onto Lisa when she arrives for the date. Guys, here’s a tip for you. Most women look very sexy in a pair of men’s flannel pj bottoms. Think about it. She looks a heck of a lot better in your pajamas than you do in her nightgown. Do NOT try the nightgown thing out on your girlfriend to try to prove me wrong. Just take my word for it. The date takes place in a hotel room complete with room service. They chat, clown around a bit with the food, and roll around giggling on the bed.