Meet My Folks, Aug 18: The Return of Giancarlo

Oh, it’s almost too good to be true. Giancarlo, that hunk di tutti hunks from last season, has come back for a visit. And this time, he’s not one of three… he’s the main attraction.

I received many emails about Giancarlo the first time we met him. Men and women praised his stunning boy-next-door looks, his whiter-than-white dazzling smile, and his all-around good guy persona. But personally, I joined the ranks of Giancarlo admirers because he was the only contestant in that episode not in show business. Giancarlo is a mortgage banker, not a soap star wanna-be.

Because, while I love celebs as much as any red-blooded American, it’s kind of nice to see a regular person on a show that purports to be about regular people. But maybe that’s just me.

So let’s dive right in.

Tonight, we meet the three non-blondes (because GC doesn’t like blondes, remember?) who will attempt to win the affections of Giancarlo’s folks, Bob and Mary Maniaci.

Meeting Bob and Mary, we find out how GC got that “good guy” vibe. His parents seem extraordinarily nice, especially Bob. Bob appears to be the kind of man one could go to with a serious problem and receive thoughtful and personalized advice, all couched in the kindest of terms.

Of course, for all I know, under that sweet exterior he could be a raging madman with a kinky thing for rubber. I mean, I haven’t actually met the guy. Let’s just hope Nash Entertainment ran its usual round of criminal background checks.

We leave the sublime, and head to our usual source of silliness – the three women vying for the chance to go to Hawaii with Giancarlo. They are: Lisa, a tall redhead; Daniela, an exotic looking beauty; and Desiree, an all-American sweet-faced girl.

The three women are given tasks before setting foot in the door. One must squeeze Dad’s behind with both hands upon meeting him, one must drink water straight out of the kitchen faucet, and another must say the phrase, “Word!” before starting every sentence.

Mom tells us she’s concerned that women will be attracted to her son only because he’s so successful in his career. Meanwhile the three girls try to sort out who gets which humiliating task. Giancarlo’s career doesn’t seem to be at the forefront of their minds at the moment.

First at the door is Lisa. Dad greets her warmly, and shows her to the kitchen, where Mom and GC await. “Can I get you something to drink?” asks Mom. Lisa promptly heads to the kitchen sink, where she turns on the faucet, and drinks from the tap.

“Make yourself at home,” Dad says, somewhat stunned. Ha! Dad has a sarcastic streak.

Next up is Desiree. She sweetly mumbles “Word!” before she responds to any questions from the family. “Word! I’m glad to meet you too.” “Word! That sounds great.” It’s a pretty silly situation, and GC tells us he seriously doubts her ability to speak English properly.

This continues for a few more moments, until Desiree slips up and says something without the “word.” A game show buzzer tells us she’s dropped the ball on her task.

Lastly, Daniela makes her entrance. When Dad opens the front door to greet her, Daniela embraces him and squeezes his behind with both hands. Dumbfounded, Dad doesn’t mention it to anyone, but voiceovers that he thinks she’s pretty aggressive.

Finally, with everyone gathered in the kitchen, a fax arrives explaining the tasks that had to be accomplished. Desiree is the only one who gets a bad fact revealed: seems she once broke up with a boyfriend so she could date his older, richer brother.

Is this true, the parents ask? “Not necessarily,” Desiree replies. Well, was he richer? “Uhm, yes…”

And thus we learn that while Desiree might be a first class gold-digger, she’s a third rate improviser.

Everyone migrates to the living room, just in time for a delivery of the girls’ “Dirty Little Secrets.” Seems Desiree has a thing for exposing herself and once flashed a crowd of 500 people at a Fourth of July Celebration. (“Yes, I did.”) Lisa once cheated on a boyfriend at his own birthday party (“We had broken up by then.”) and Daniela has posed nude for Playboy (“It was a form of expression.”).

After these revelations, Mom and Dad are not too impressed with any of the young ladies, but Daniela’s nude pictures are especially bothersome. In fact, they say they are quite troubled by it.

“Judge much?” my husband says to the TV. The TV doesn’t respond.

Next up, the private dates. Don’t blink, because they whiz by pretty fast. Lisa and GC go to the races at Hollywood Park, and Lisa tells us, “He likes me.” Next, Desiree and GC go on a boat ride, and Desiree tells us, “I want him to know I’m interested. I don’t want him to guess.”

Pssst, Giancarlo! Yeah, over here. Don’t quote me, but I think Desiree’s trying to tell you she’s a sure thing.