Race to the Altar, Episode 5: Twisted Twist Ending

Last week on Race to the Altar, Susan and Coyt finally broke their winning streak and did not win either of the Power Couple challenges. So Power Couples Chris & Cindy and Andree & Tonya took advantage to get rid of the toughest competition, right? Wrong. Like idiots, they sent Grace and Robert packing.

This week’s episode begins with Carolyn observing that the stress of the game is starting to get to people. Coyt and Susan, for example, are shown in their room bickering, Coyt saying, “You don’t even listen to me.” Next we see Andree and Tonya also arguing. Tonya asks Andree, “Why are you mean to me?” Finally, Chris and Cindy get into the act, too. Chris informs Cindy, “Baby, I don’t need you lecturing me.” These people are as tense as Kevin Smith editing his new Ben Affleck-Jennifer Lopez movie.

Late in the evening, Lisa meets with all of the women and tells them there is a surprise waiting for them in one of the hotel rooms. The surprise is that all of their maids of honor are there, and they’ll be heading out for a bachelorette party. The women are taken to a casino where they will enjoy their bachelorette entertainment: the Chippendale dancers. Cindy and her sister Arlene immediately balk. Arlene says that she is married with two kids and could not possibly watch such a show. Cindy says simply, “I can’t do it.” Carolyn tries briefly to talk them into going, pointing out that the men won’t even be naked, just in jeans. Cindy and Arlene won’t budge, nor will Tonya and her friend. Carolyn, Susan, and their friends ditch the others and head in to watch some shirtless boys. In an interview, Carolyn says, “It did not surprise me at all that Cindy didn’t go in because I feel like she thinks she has to portray a certain image. Once inside, Carolyn thinks, “You know what? I’m in Las Vegas with my best friend. Screw these other people; I’m going to have a good time.” Good for you, Carolyn.

Cindy, Tonya, and their friends don’t want to see the Chippendales shows, so surely they’ll find something else to do in Vegas, right? Maybe they’ll do some gambling, go shopping, and see a G-rated show, something like that. There are plenty of things to do besides look at attractive shirtless men, right? Well, apparently these women opt to spend their evening sitting on the floor outside the Chippendale theater waiting for the other women and worrying about what the men might be doing. After all, if the women were taken to see scantily clad men, just imagine what the men are doing! Cindy worries about the possibility that Chris might be at a strip club at that very moment and says, “Had he gone in, I don’t think that we would be getting married any time soon.”

Cindy need not have worried. The men are meeting with Colin Cowie for an etiquette lesson. The focus is on table manners. Each guy is given a big margarita glass filled with gazpacho, and Colin shows them the proper way to eat soup. Then he shows them how to cut their meat. Colin says, “Just think elegant. When you eat, do it as elegantly as possible.” The guys actually seem to enjoy their lesson and appreciate Colin’s advice.

Meanwhile, outside the Chippendale theater, Cindy’s sister talks to her about how she should be behaving with Chris since they are not yet married. As you will recall, Cindy had asked for separate rooms so she and Chris would not be seen sleeping together. At first she insisted on sleeping on the couch, then wavered and slept in the bed with Chris with a large bolster pillow between them. Recently, Cindy got rid of the pillow and just slept in the same bed as Chris. Arlene asks Cindy what their parents would say if they knew she was snuggling up to Chris, pre-marriage. Cindy says she knows what she did was wrong, and that she only has herself to blame. In an interview, Chris says, “In her mind, if she gets caught on tape cuddling with me, her parents might be a little upset with her.”

At 1:30 in the morning, the women head back to the hotel. Cindy is convinced that the men went to a strip club, so she heads into their room spoiling for a fight. Chris is in bed, obviously worn out from a hard night of using the right fork. We don’t see the beginning of their argument, but from the sound of it, Cindy asked Chris what he would have done if the guys had been taken to a strip club and wasn’t happy with his answer. Cindy says, “Fine. So that means that I can go out and have an affair because you will forgive me.” What? Having an affair and going to a strip club are two very different things. In an interview, Chris says he thinks the women got each other all worked up about the possibility of the guys going to a strip club. Cindy, of course, is not done arguing. She says, “I expect you to get up and say, ‘Hey, guys have a great time, but I’m going into the other room because Cindy would not like this.’” Chris laughs at her and says, “You have hardcore expectations.” Cindy says, “Hardcore this,” and slams the bolster pillow down on the bed. An angry Chris chucks it across the room.

This was one messed up fight. Cindy is furious with Chris and nothing he can say will stop her from being angry, especially because he didn’t actually do anything! The argument is not really about the measures Chris would take to avoid seeing some stripper’s boobs, but rather about the fact that Cindy feels bad for allowing herself to cuddle before marriage. In an interview, Cindy says that because she and Chris are not married, Chris can’t get the “benefits” of marriage yet. Then she actually starts to cry, saying, “It’s hard for me to say no because I want to be with him. But I honor and love my parents more than anything else.” Okay, I know life isn’t an episode of Sex and the City, and there are plenty of people out there who don’t believe in premarital sex. I totally respect that. But Cindy is a 29-year-old woman. Shouldn’t she be making choices that reflect her own values, not just her parents’ values?

The next morning, Chris and Cindy are still fighting. Cindy tells Chris, “I am not an upset person and you make me upset.” In an interview, Carolyn observes that Cindy is nervous about what her family will think about what she’s doing, and because Cindy is so nervous, Chris feels like he can’t be himself. That, in turn, makes Chris uncomfortable. In an interview, Chris says, “Everyone is getting really uptight and tense because of a game. And it’s just a game.”