Big Brother 4, September 17: Bitches, Sluts, and Whores – The Celeb Filled Recap

Finally Robert, poor, sweet, delusional Robert, thinks that he’s still there because he’s the best player in the game and he listens to people. Of course, Robert, if that was the case then you would have had no problem in that last HoH competition. And of course, as many people will tell you, just because you’re the best player in the competition doesn’t mean that you’re going to win the competition. Sometimes he’s so off the mark it makes me want to cry buckets.

To prove this point, Robert tries both ends against the middle as he goes to both of the women and does his best to split the women apart and give him whatever edge he can in the decision making process to keep him in the final two. Basically he says that if he gets voted out by them, he will sway the jury vote against them. Is this a possibility? Well, for at least two other votes it is and I would somewhat take it seriously. Of course, you have to remember that keeping him in the house would also be votes in his favor. It’s a thin line to walk. Robert, for some reason and I don’t know why and I don’t think he will ever be able to explain why, tells us in the Diary Room that he feels very comfortable with his situation right now.

Of course the women run to each other with this info and compare notes (which is what led to their tirade against Robert) which only solidifies this gender based alliance. The reason I call it gender based is because these two women, in my opinion at least, really don’t like each other all that much and pretty much just aligning with the other woman in some form of mock girl power. Personally, I think it’s going to wind up with the winner being announced, the two women giving each other a fake “I’m so happy for you” hug, and then they never speak to each other at the post-production party.

Into the house we go live where Julie goes to Alison and asks her if she would rather spend one more day with the mime or another seventy five days in the house. She opts for the extra time in the house which really kinda makes me wonder if she was going to start flirting with Jun because there aren’t any men left and then again Jun may not want to be anywhere near her at that stage. Then again there is Donnie to deal with when she gets out of the house as well. Something tells me that relationship won’t be lasting much longer.

But in this situation I have to feel for the mime. I mean did CBS really take the mime’s feelings into consideration here when they threatened to put him in the house with Alison. Isn’t that cruel and unusual punishment? Should Amnesty International be contacted in regards to this? I would hate for that mime to be trapped in the house with Alison.

Jun thinks that by winning the money her parents may like her again. Okay I need someone to explain to me why Jun’s parents don’t like her and why would they like her now that she has money? Whatever happened the old Beatles song, “Can’t Buy Me Love?” And is that really what you would want your parents to like you for? The fact that you brought in money?

Robert then gets asked why he has won all of the America’s Choice competitions. Actually Julie phrased as follows: “Why does America love you so much?” All I have to say is that she should have looked at who the other choices are and then ask herself why the BB4 writers would even think to make her ask such an asinine questions. At this point, a wave of nausea hits me from my hangover and I black out for a moment and I don’t hear what Robert says but something tells me I’m not too far off on the answer.

So we’re leaving the three behind so we can talk about stress levels in the house and for a moment I thought we were heading into a segment helmed by Dr. Phil as he yells at everyone for being so useless and whatever reason they give is utter crap. (Dr. Phil irks me if you can’t tell… I mean who would take diet advice from a man that my roommate thinks should be listening to his own words instead of telling others how to live their lives). Anyway… here’s “Dr. Phil” with his take on the final three players…

“Jun uses food as her comfort source in times of high stress. Look at her stuff her face continuously from morning to night. The moment Jee stepped foot into the house, her stress level went up ten million percent and the first thing on her mind was where were the double stuffed Oreos to keep her company on a cold Big Brother night. Sadly, she’s not choosing foods that work with her situation or her environment because if you look at this before and after swimsuit shot of Jun, you will see the difference.”

At this point, “Dr. Phil” shows the audience the before and after shots of Jun in a bathing suit. The difference in the two pictures is so startling that the entire audience gasps. Half of the audience claims to go blind just from looking at the picture and the other half merely gets one nice rousing wave of nausea but somehow manages to keep everything down.

“Alison, on the other hand,” begins “Dr. Phil,” “she shows her stress through the breakout of pimples on her face. When she started the competition and it was merely the eight of them in the house, see how nice and clean her face looks. As soon as Justin enters the house though, you notice this little blotch here at the end of her nose. Sure enough, if you take a look at Alison’s face now versus her face when the show started, you will see that she could use either a copy of my new book, ‘Pimpin’ Out Your Stress,’ and some Clearasil.”