Big Brother 4, September 17: Bitches, Sluts, and Whores – The Celeb Filled Recap

Question 5: “Ladies, what did your ex say when asked if you have a soul?”

At this point, raucous laughter comes from the Internet community who firmly believe the two to be without souls, but both women answer yes and are matched by their exes. Jee though does add that Jun has a soul even if she was a bitch at times.

Question 6: “The score is 2-2, ladies. Now, we asked your guys if they felt their ex was more in control of the house than they were?”

Alison pops up with a no answer while Jun oddly goes with yes. Shockingly enough, she’s right and so is Alison (although no shock there) and Bob notes that we are still tied although the score is now 3-3.

Question 7 – “We asked your guys if they were better in bed than you?”

Alison appears shocked for a moment but surprises nobody by answering “no” while Jun easily shows “yes.” Jun takes the lead because she matches Jee while Justin says he was better than her. She looks shocked. Oh please.

Question 8 – “Jun, you’re leading 4-3. If you answer this correctly, you are the new Head of Household. We asked the guys if they would want to see their ex again outside of the house.”

Alison opts for a “no” answer while Jun, thinking she has Jee wrapped around her finger even though he’s away in Mexico, says “yes.” Alison ties it up when Justin says he doesn’t want to see her again and I have to admit that I was disappointed he didn’t add something about seeing her again if she was the last person left on earth. I wanted that drama. Jun, however, appears stunned when Jee says that not only does he not want to see her again, but he has no desire whatsoever to even be around his ex. So much for my theory that he would vote for her in the finals.

So we’re off to another tiebreaker where “Bob” asks, “Ladies, how many days did you and your ex date.” They show their answers and Bob gives his patented “I’m shocked at what you just said and I thought I had heard it all” look when Alison writes down “0” and Jun opts for “one million.” Yes, that’s 1,000,000. “Bob” knows Jun threw the competition. I know Jun’s thrown the competition. The guy in the control room knows Jun’s thrown the competition. A chimp that Nash Entertainment uses during episodes of Meet My Folks knows Jun’s thrown the competition. Not shockingly enough, Alison wins HoH.

Now it’s over to the Loser Lounge Luau where Dana and Justin are still rutting like rabbits in heat and Nathan is still suffering from… um… hand cramps I guess (take that as you wish) and is begging for a woman to show up. Sure enough there’s Erika who promptly learns she’s Nathan’s bedmate. Well she didn’t learn it as much as Nathan told her she was his bedmate. I should try using that line in bars more often I guess because sure enough she’s curled up in the bed with Nathan and he’s gloating that she sleeps naked. Then again maybe I shouldn’t use it. I don’t want to look as hormonally desperate as Nathan does.

Anyway, time for Julie Chen to state the obvious as she asks Alison in the HOH room if she thinks Jun threw the final stage of the competition. Let’s see. Don’t you think they arranged that, Julie? Justin is her ex and they dated for ZERO days while Jun and Jee dated for one million days which equates to almost 2739 YEARS? Julie, Julie, Julie. Nothing gets by you.

So it’s time for Alison to oust Robert, but we have to let both people say something about why they should stay but of course it’s useless since Alison tells Robert to take a hike. Actually she says something about him having the votes to win it all and how his threats to her about poisoning the jury are not the reason she’s voting him off, etc. Frankly I think anyone up against Alison has the votes to win it all. So Robert goes off to Julie-land where he tells her that his threats were really just “game play” and he’s going to base his vote on who he thinks deserves it more.

As long as it’s not Alison I will be a happy man. Jun I could live with. Alison winning will make me never want to watch this show again.

Finally, I guess Robert isn’t going to loser lounge just yet (or maybe not at all since there’s just a week left) because they brought out his daughter and even I had an “awww” moment as they hugged and all of the audience members from “Dr. Phil’s” show all got their sight back in time to watch it too. How sweet.

So, we have one week left to decide a winner. My question is what the hell will we watch for the remainder of the episodes? How exciting will it be to watch these two in the house together?

Ooh! Maybe we can get them to do a Crystal/Alexis Dynasty-style catfight. That would get me to tune in.

Or maybe Jun can talk some more about Alison’s “photogenic” memory, a comment she made early in this episode that wasn’t worth mentioning in context but just had to be brought up before the end of the article. Many viewers spit out their drinks in humor at the idiocy of that remark, I’m sure. So on that note, we’ll leave until Friday.

Want to keep up with important events in the house? Check out our Big Brother 4 Spoiler Page for news on who wins contests and other ongoing info.

C. Brian Devinney hails from New York City and has appeared on The Sally Jesse Raphael Show and MTV's Big Urban Myth discussing reality TV. You can read his other work on his website, Tales from the City, and can contact him at TheRealityFactor@aol.com.

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