Temptation Island 3, The Finale: Stuck Together, Torn Apart

Well, praise glory and hallelujah, it’s over. I’m sure Fox is thinking the same thing, considering the ratings, or lack thereof. Thursday’s “bonus” episode opposite Survivor bombed as predicted, finishing dead LAST in the overnights, even lower than the WB’s Steve Harvey/Jamie Kennedy combo, which chimed in at 2.3. I would guess that the few people who actually wanted to see it forgot or didn’t realize it was on. The second hour did slightly better, but still worse than previous weeks at 3.0.

The finale of TI3, in a surprise to me, actually increased a full point to a 4.0 in the overnights. Perhaps that’s not so much of a surprise. I loathe this show and even I am curious how it would turn out. I just wish I didn’t have to watch it is all.

One last thing before the recap. One thing I’ve gained from watching this show is a little perspective. After sitting through seven hours of TI3, I’ve finally realized exactly how entertaining TI2 really was.

We start the final episode with the usual recaps, and for once I am glad for them as they fill in some info that I missed from Episode 5. First off, Jason actually blew up at Sandra for spreading the untrue gossip that he ripped off his necklace and threw it into the fire. Yes, Jason overreacted, but if I were in the same position, I probably would have torn her a new one also. Then I would have smacked Michael upside the head for not getting rid of her when he had the chance.

And on a related note, I realize that it’s Sandra, not Kristin as I thought, who whined, “I wanna go hoooooome,” during a montage early in the series. That clears up a lot.

Melissa is still whining about Michael’s filthy dirty talk. She’s still shocked and doesn’t know how to react! But wait! She’s figured out a way! She takes her necklace and drops it in one of the guys’ laps, saying, “I need it no more.”

Excuse me a minute…

GAAAAAAAAH! SHUT UP, MELISSA! SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!!!!!!!

Someone, please smack this woman! Yes, we know you’re “distraught” and “shocked.” But You’ve already dramatically taken off your necklace TWICE! We GET the FREAKING POINT ALREADY!

It’s at this point that I formulate a theory on Melissa: her dramatics didn’t really start until she got close to Jerome, did they? You think maybe she is blowing things a little (OK, maybe a lot) out of proportion to justify leaving Michael?

Stephanie, on the other hand, actually has a reason to be concerned. Her boyfriend is doing things to another woman that he used to do with her. To those who don’t get it, imagine if Anthony would sit down next to her at the final bonfire and say, “I’ve missed you, Ashley.”

She reiterated what I said last week, in that it would have bothered her less if he had acted like a pig (or, to the point, like Michael) than it does to have him act normal. I’ve never felt sorry for one of the coupled people on this show (except maybe Tommy, but he chose to stay with her, so he’s on his own), but I have to feel a little bad for Stephanie. Especially since it was Anthony’s idea to come on the show.

God, I never would have thought I’d be defending STEPHANIE. She was my least favorite in the beginning.

Anthony says he’s learned a lot about himself. Like that he’s a big MEANIE! OK, he didn’t say that last part. Michael does say that he’s thinking of picking Tiffany for his final date because they’ve “made a connection.” He’s also thinking of Ida because he likes her and wants to get to know her. He won’t know for sure until he gets there and his heart tells him which way to go. This, by the way, is called foreshadowing, kids.

With that, it’s time for the men to select their final dates! Since they kicked off Eve (who?) the “other day,” they have seven women to choose from. Which means there will be THREE BROKEN HEARTS tonight!

No, not really, but since the episode is so boring, I thought I’d liven it up a bit. Maybe that’s what this show needs… ham-handed dramatics. No, wait… Melissa’s already providing that, isn’t she?

Eric is first, and asks out Ida, who, of course… says NO?! What the hell? She says he’s not asking her for the right reasons. The men laugh at Eric. As well they should. He’s wearing sunglasses that look like something my dad would wear. But that’s not why they’re laughing, at least not the whole reason. Ida says she thinks she’s made a connection with someone else and is hoping to be picked by that person.

Mark tells Ida that she doesn’t HAVE to go with Eric, and he wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t. Oh, there I go, adding stuff again. Sorry. Mark reminds her that there’s no guarantee that someone else will pick her. She understands and Mark tells Eric to sit down and just think about what he’s done, young man. And then he DOES tell Ida that he respects her decision to not go on a date rather than go with Eric. Eric tries to act cool while walking back to his chair and fails miserably.

I’m sorry, Eric seems like a nice enough guy, but that was funny.

Ida explains in voiceover that she knew she’d feel uncomfortable on a date with Eric because he’s told the single girls straight out that none of them can measure up to Kristin. In the talking department, I’m sure she’s got them licked.