Paradise Hotel, The Finale: Shocking Twists Galore!

Dave makes his statement. He was the first person to eliminate a guest at Paradise Hotel and has obviously rubbed people the wrong way. He’s sad that the jurors don’t believe him when he said that having the power sucks. He’s lied and he’s failed to make friends, except for the three people standing next to him. His relationship with Charla has had its ups and downs. He had feelings for her, which led to jealousy and hurt, and he’s dealing with the ramifications of those actions. Adversity has brought them closer together and he’s proud to have had her as his roommate. He thanks the guests for the tennis, drinking, fighting, and making up. Screaming Harpie Amy shouts, “Thanks for talking behind our backs!!! Caw! Caw! Caw!” Well, okay, she didn’t start cawing like a bird, but she did say the first part. There’s no applause for Dave. Shocker.

Tara announces that she and Keith wrote their speech together and will each deliver half. She says that at the hotel, she did things that were out of character for her and were things she wouldn’t do at home. At the hotel, she started conflict, whereas she’s usually the peacemaker at home. She came to paradise to escape stress, but ended up creating it. Keith feels that it is unfortunate that individuals were given the power to send others home. He didn’t want to cause pain (the camera cuts to Amy). He knows that all of the jurors have good hearts. He’s learned many things about himself. (He’s crying! So is Charla! Wow!) Keith tells the jurors that he has a lot of growing up to do and that the jurors helped him realize just how far he has to go. He regrets saying some things and plans to take things day by day and hopes he can change for the better. He thanks the jurors for listening. The jury responds with applause and in the case of Guest Amanda, tears.

Dave and Charla return to their room and Dave says that it’s a good thing Charla didn’t care about winning or he’d be beating himself with a baseball bat. Charla tells him that she does indeed care. Dave points out that she doesn’t care like he does. True enough, I guess. In the bathroom, Zack, Alex, and Beau discuss how each of them hates one person in each of the couples. One of them feels bad for Charla. Another hates Keith. Another hates Tara. Each wishes it were an individual vote.

Dave tells Charla that he hopes for her sake that the winners are determined by voting for individuals, because the jury has a “hatred” for him. Toni asks the jury who thinks Dave is “full of $#!t.” Scott calls Dave a “rat and a stoolie.” Toni crosses her throat with her thumb, ala Beau. This tickles Beau, who asks her to do it again. Then he does it. Ah, Paradise Hotel. Definitely a repository of classy individuals. Or something like that.

Dave hopes that the things he’s done haven’t jeopardized Charla’s chances of winning. Well, that sentiment is about a day late and a dollar short, buddy. Keith asks Tara if Tara heard that Toni told everyone she slept her way to the top. We see a flashback of Toni recapping Tara’s hookups in paradise. Keith dismisses Toni – “F**k her.” Tara thinks that “it’s stupid” that the jurors think she’s a bed hopper. Keith says he has Tara’s back – and he always will. Awwwwwwwwwwww.

Charla confesses to Dave that she lied to him about something a long time ago. Charla didn’t vote for Dave to come to paradise. She was the only girl who didn’t vote for him. She voted for Tom. Ouch. Methinks Charla realizes she better confess before Dave watches the show. Toni tells the jurors that she doesn’t feel sorry for Dave. Scott says that the way Dave is always thinking of ways to “f**k everyone” makes him “sick.”

Dave tells Charla that he kept Scott here so many times. Charla points out that Dave lied to Scott. Dave bemoans the fact that because he lied to Scott once, the fact that Dave kept Scott here all summer is completely forgotten. Good point, Davito. But that’s the way life is, isn’t it? Full of convenient memories. Tara hates that the jury is pointing fingers and says that it’s not fun to be in front of them with jurors so angry with the Final Four. Keith tells her that if they win, it will be worth it. Good point, Keithie.

It’s time for a commercial, but first there’s a preview reminding us that there’s still a SHOCKING TWIST ahead. I still stand by my prediction from last week. Keith and Charla will win. I wonder if the twist is that the winners can’t talk to the others ever again. That would fit with Fox’s “friends forever” editing and Dave saying in his RealityNewsOnline interview that he can’t comment on who he’s keeping in touch with. Other eliminated guests have given interviews about who they talk to and who they live with (in the case of Zack and Amy, it’s each other). How awful. I’ll bet they take the dinero. Would they give up money for someone who’s basically a stranger?

The Final Four come in and stare down the stone-faced jury. Kristen narrows her eyes to slits. Charla is wearing another stupid headband. Host Amanda tells the jury that it’s time for them to vote. Toni announces that she thinks the situation “sucks” and that it should be “one of us up there.” Actually, Toni thinks that it should be “two of us.” She tells the Final Four that “it doesn’t pay to lie, cheat, and steal to get to top. Money’s not always here, but friends and reputation are forever.” [Editor’s Note: I think now is an appropriate time to remind readers that Toni was caught on tape lying blatantly to a “friend” on her first show, Love Cruise. But I guess that was different.] Alex asks Charla if would pick another partner if she knew then what she knows now. Charla says no, she’d stick with Dave. The freakshow named Desiree starts crying because she’s so happy she met all of the guests and that they all left the hotel with friendships and love and should drop animosity. Freakshow Desiree wants them to “kill” the animosity. Interesting choice of words, sweetie. Next time, don’t forget to take your medication, okay?