Paradise Hotel, The Finale: Shocking Twists Galore!

It’s time for what I hope is the final commercial break. My prediction is that they’re both going to do it. Both have been team players and have given credit where credit is due. Neither would be in this position without their partners. I actually kind of like this scenario, because all four Barbies can win. This, I must admit, is actually a pretty cool SHOCKING TWIST.

Keith approaches Tara with smile on his face. She congratulates him with a hug. Keith tells her that she is the most unbelievable person he’s ever met and that she’s intelligent, gorgeous, funny, and puts a smile on everyone’s face. He never could have won the prize without her. Tara tells him to stop (but I don’t think she means it). Keith grabs her hand and tells her that they did this together from the very beginning. When he was deliberating, all he looked at was a picture of Tara’s family. He tells her that family is the most important thing and she should imagine what she can do for her mother now. Tara starts to cry. Keith tells her that he hopes the money helps Tara out, because it never crossed his mind not to share it with her. Tara tries to turn him down, but Keith tells her that it’s his decision. Keith tells her that he doesn’t need $250,000 when he knows that she helped him. He wants her to help her mother out. He tells her that they’re in this together and that nobody else helped them. Tara says that she said that he was the most caring and thoughtful guy and “wow” she’s smart. Heh. They hug. She jumps on his lap and hugs him more. They appear to be in love.

Charla approaches Dave, who looks like he’s about to puke. It’s not surprising, as money is clearly a big deal to Dave. She has a big smile on her face – I’m sure my prediction is right. Dave congratulates Charla and tells her that it sucks that she’s being put to this decision. Charla tells Dave that this is the hardest decision that she’s ever made. She thought she knew what she was going to do, then she didn’t, then she just cried. She tells him that she loves him as a friend and asks him what he would do if she tried to give him the money. Dave replies that he would make sure that she wasn’t doing it out of obligation or pity. Okay, I see why he wouldn’t want pity money, but obligation? C’mon Dave, in the real world, an obligation is also known as a contract. A deal. Something, perhaps, that might be made between members of a team?

Charla can’t decide which more shocking: giving someone $125,000 or realizing that she didn’t give someone $125,000. And then she decides. She thinks the right thing for her would be to keep the money. WHAT? She’s KEEPING THE MONEY?! As I recover from my shock, Dave tells her that he would respect that and wouldn’t question it for one second. Methinks Dave is lying again. Charla asks how their friendship would be affected. Dave tells her that her words have had a greater impact on him than the money would. Charla tells him that he’s just made the face he makes when he lies. Heh. Dave says that it’s fine if she doesn’t give him the money and that he figured she’d keep it. Charla asks him why he thought that, because she wasn’t going to keep the money.

Dave, who appears to be about ready to hurl, asks Charla if she was going to give it to him and then changed her mind. Charla replies that she started thinking that she worked so hard for the money and that she deserves it. Plus, it could help her do so much. Dave makes noises about it being okay. I think that he’s finally beginning to understand the old saying “loose lips sink ships.” Dave has seriously screwed himself once again by having diarrhea of the mouth. Flip the switch, dude. Turn on the filter. You don’t have to say everything you think!

Charla asks him to promise to be her friend and not flip out. He tells her that he’d flip out about other things, but not this – his feelings aren’t hurt at all. Charla replies that his feelings have been hurt before. Dave says that it’s a lot of money to flip out about, but that he’s glad she won. He’s happy for her and she should feel free to change her mind at any time. Snort. Charla tells him that she’s probably going to regret her decision.

Charla approaches the evicted guests. She tells them that she kept the money. In an astonishing display of bad taste, Toni and Alex cheer. Well, maybe astonishing is the wrong word, given the behavior we’ve seen from these two in prior episodes. It’s still tacky, though. Keith arrives at the group, he tells them that not only did he split the money, but also that he and Tara want to take everyone to Vegas. That’s a good use for the money. Should I help my family or take a bunch of screaming jerks to Vegas? Hmm…. Wise move, you two. Hey, it’s not my money. There are fireworks, balloons, and confetti in paradise. Scott hugs Keith. Alex hugs Keith. I guess we know who they voted for… Host Amanda, with a mole that just keeps getting larger, tells the audience that she has one more surprise. There’s something we need to know about next season…

You know, all in all, I have to say this was a rather satisfying ending for a show that seemed to go out of its way to piss me off at times. Keith shared his money, which fit in with both his character and his apparent relationship with Tara (rumors on internet message boards have the two of them living together). Charla didn’t share her money, which fit with her character, her lack of interest in anything but a “friend” relationship with Dave, and her clear discomfort when she found out how dishonest he had been to get them where they ended up. Now, there’s probably a lot of cynics out there who say that (a) she had to have known about some of the lies, at the very least and (b) she should be grateful that he was willing to lie, because she won. Who knows? The truth is probably somewhere in the middle.

As for next season, I have to wonder if this season was a unique experience because none (and I repeat, none) of the guests seemed to realize how large the prize was going to be. And I don’t think that many of them started to play the game until it was too late. It’s sort of like the first season of Survivor, where part of the reason that Richard Hatch was able to win was that no one else created an alliance. By the time the Originals woke up to the fact that this wasn’t just the cool kids from high school on an extended spring break, the Barbies had all the power. Next season, that won’t happen. Just like every other reality show, everyone will be jockeying for power from day one. Hopefully, Fox will come up with some way to adjust for that fact. I’m sure they’ll come up with lots of SHOCKING TWISTS. As long as they get me 20% of the time (which is approximately their success rate), I’ll be watching! And we can only hope that their casting directors continue their unfettered success in casting people that we love to hate and love to love.

You can contact Ms. Marsh at vsmarsh@hotmail.com.

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