Real World Paris, the Finale: Goodbye, My Parisian Angel

Previously, Chris calls his dad and they talk about skipping his excursion assignment. Brice has all the roomies write their biographies as their last assignment. And something’s stirring with Ace and Mallory.

Chateau. Packing. Ace’s box reads “Going back to Normalville,” in Sharpie marker on the side. Hope he doesn’t go crying to customs when his crap winds up in Normal, Illinois. Mallory says everyone’s thinking about leaving and their experience in Paris coming to an end.

Ace and Chris sit in the hot tub with the American flag draped behind them. I’m pretty sure that’s not the proper way to display a flag. They talk about everything they miss and want to get back to. Chris says he misses automobiles and it’s been forever since he’s been to a gas station. That answers a lot of questions about what he’s been sniffing to get hair like that.

Ace says there will be no more French, no more croissants, and no more girls who don’t speak English. He’s going back to Georgia Peaches (Hello!) and southern belles. He misses his grandma, family and friends, and it’s been four months since he had bacon and waffles.

Leah gets a big box with pictures of Giuseppi. Thank God this is the last time I’ll ever have to write that name. She says she’s not expecting much from the relationship since he lives in France and she lives in New York (and since she was seen schlepping with Adam’s friend immediately on her return from visiting him). But, she says he’s a great guy and their time together was sweet, romantic and fun.

Speaking of sweet and fun, on her way out the door, Leah tells the guys not to order pizza until she returns because they will “f*^k up” the order. Sweet.

Ace and Chris immediately seize on this neurotic behavior and decide to make a big joke by taking old, used pizza boxes from around the house and spreading them around the yard, making it look like they ate all the pizza. The girls get hyped up about food because “they’re monsters.”

Adam comes home early and falls for the joke.

The girls get home and immediately freak out about the already-eaten pizza. Chris keeps egging them on but Adam stops the fight when he realizes World War III is about to break out on their last day in Paris.

And now it’s time for the “last day at work,” segment. Christina interviews she enjoyed working for a travel publication.

Brice starts gushing about everyone’s biographies that were written the day before. He says he took them home and read them five times. He lets the group goad him into reading one of the essays, but he doesn’t name names. It’s Mallory’s written about Ace and how much he’s changed since coming to Paris. Aww.

Then Brice interviews each of the seven individually. Mallory says she’ll be disappointed if they don’t get published. Brice asks Chris the golden question: Did he research and write all his work? Chris finally admits it and says he didn’t. Brice is amazingly calm for someone who’s going to have to dump at least one section of a book. Chris tells him that was the only section he (and his partner!) didn’t go to and that they looked online for the information.

Brice asks Chris if he has anymore questions. Chris asks Brice what his sign is. If I’d just admitted plagiarism to my boss we’d be discussing the astrology of the box I was packing my sh*t in, but hey, whatever. Brice says he’s an aquarius, which is why he caught Chris in a lie. I’m not really up on “signs” so I’ll take his word for it.

In an interview, Leah says Brice asked her if she researched and wrote everything she did, and she said yes, “because I researched and wrote everything, I just didn’t visit.” Then we hear what could probably be considered the musical translation of “D’oh!”

Back at the house, Leah, Christina, Adam, and Ace all get in the hot tub, then they decide to take their suits off. Then Ace puts on Christina’s bikini bottoms, which fit surprisingly well, actually. Mallory comes out and takes pictures of all the drunken fun, then Leah announces she’s totally comfortable with the group but if Chris got in, she’d have a heart attack.

Chris, conveniently standing on the porch, overhears Leah and gets upset. “Why point me out?” To punish the group, and himself, he skips out on their last meal together, which is at a fondue bar with wine in baby bottles, which is conveniently written on the screen. Leah admits in an interview she feels bad for making Chris feel bad.

At dinner, Ace calls Mallory his Parisian Angel. Aww. Then he gives a drunken toast:

Some ships are made of metal, Some ships are made of wood, Some ships sail the tropical seas. But the best ships are friendships and that will always be.