Surviving the Pearl Islands, Episode 12: Liars Club

It’s Day 31 at the Balboa tribe. Burton is heading out to fish. Christa and Sandra are… well, I’m not really sure what they’re doing. It looks like they’re panning for gold, but I rather doubt it. In any case, they are talking and it appears there is some doubt in their minds about Jon’s sincerity. Jon? Insincere? Say it ain’t so! Where would they ever get a bad thought like that about Jon, who last week earned a Reality TV Hall of Shame Moment?

Christa says voting out Tijuana was a last-minute decision. Jon had told them that he would take them to the final four with Burton. But Christa doesn’t know if she can believe him, so she makes him swear on his grandmother’s grave. That would be his grandmother’s non-existent grave, for those of you not paying close attention. To emphasize this point, he privately repeats his comparison of breaking lies to a fat woman and wicker furniture, still not getting the metaphor right. Christa says she really hopes he’s telling the truth, but probably not. She figures she and Sandra probably have a better chance of getting ahead with the four women.

Sandra says she’s tight with Christa, but she can’t do anything without knowing where Darrah stands now. She figures Darrah voted for Burton the previous night, so she should have no problem doing it again. Yeah, Sandra, I’m sure she’ll just ignore the fact that you roped her and Tijuana into an alliance and then immediately backstabbed them, sending her pal, Ti, out of the game. I’m sure she’ll trust you completely – just like you should trust Jon.

Sheesh.

Anyway, Sandra talks to Darrah, who plays it pretty noncommittally. She privately says that she’s sure everybody will be coming her way and she’ll listen to them all and then make a decision from there. Sandra goes on about how they want to get rid of Burton and then Jon. Burton first because he’s a threat, and Jon’s like a girl. Heh.

Meanwhile, we’re back to Burton fishing as the music from Jaws plays. I expect to see that shark that would hang around when Rupert was fishing come out of nowhere and tear Burton to pieces, but nothing nearly so exciting happens. Burton just spears a stingray. Oooh. He returns to shore with the ray and a bunch of other fish just as Jon shows up with treemail about the next reward challenge, which will treat them to some luxury.

They show up at the challenge to find two boats. Hey, I thought tribal challenges were over. Well, in this case, it’s competing in two teams of three, drawn randomly. It’s a water obstacle course. One player from each team starts on the first platform and has to cross a balance beam. Then they dive in and untie two paddles. From there they swim to another platform to join the second team member and untie three barrels. They get the third person off another platform and untie another paddle. Then they all swim to shore with the paddles, push the boat off the beach, and row back to the starting point.

The reward is an overnight stay at a spa. They will be flown to a remote resort island, get a massage, order anything they want off the menu for dinner, wake up and have a big breakfast, etc. There is also a swimming pool, so they get their swimsuits from the suitcases they left behind oh so long ago.

They draw randomly for teams – and also for positions. Sandra, who hates swimming challenges, draws the first position and needs to do the most swimming of anybody. Then Christa is second and Burton is third on their team. For the other team, Darrah goes first, then Lill, then Jon.

Right off the bat, Sandra is in trouble as she falls while going across the balance beam and slams her chin into the connecting platform. Ouch! Darrah is ahead and stays that way. Darrah gets to the second stage and Lill while Sandra is still working on the second paddle. And working. And working. Burton stands on the third platform, unable to do anything, obviously annoyed. Darrah dives back into the water her top (a buff) pulls down). Thanks to pixelation, it’s just a blur, alas. It’s no distraction to her, though, as she gets the barrels untied while Sandra is, yes, still working on the second paddle. Burton is pulling his hair out. Darrah and Lill get to Jon and all three swim to shore. But they begin having problems pushing the boat off the beach. Must be ‘cus Jon is like a girl. Anyway, Sandra finally gets that second paddle untied and gets to Christa. They get the three barrels taken care of and Burton is finally involved in the game. They swim to shore, hoping the other team has lost enough time pushing the boat, but no way. Darrah, Lill, and Jon win!

Immediately, the three of them head out on a boat for a tour of the island. From there they head to a small plane. Among other things, they view the camp from above. Sandra waves and says to herself, “I wish it was me.” Heh. They see whales, etc., and Jon realizes that the islands and ocean are big. Wow. Brilliant guy, that Jon.