Surviving the Pearl Islands, the Finale: No More Lies

So here we are. It seems like only a few weeks ago that we first met the 16 players of Survivor: Pearl Islands when they jumped overboard and swam to the village to haggle. We met Rupert, who immediately took to the pirate motif and “pillaged” shoes from the Morgan tribe raft, left sitting right next to him. We met the Morgan tribe and saw that they were so unorganized that they were recognized in a Reality TV Hall of Shame Moment. As we moved along and grew to know these players, we saw Drake beat the hell out of Morgan for several episodes. Of course, we also saw the big twist that brought back Burton and Lill; the first quitter on Survivor in Osten, a Hall of Shame inductee; Jon’s big “dead grandma” lie; and much more. Many people have said that this series revitalized Survivor. Whether or not it needed revitalizing, the fact is that the show regularly beat Friends again, something it hadn’t done for a while. Personally, I think it’s been one of the best seasons, and now we’re at the finale. I guess time really does fly when you’re having fun.

We begin with a recap of what happened to get us to this point. But you’ve been following along since the beginning, or at least have been reading my recaps, so you already know all that stuff. If you don’t, you can check out all our Survivor articles here.

Okay, with all of that behind us, we are at the Final 4. It’s Day 37. They are just waking up when a boat arrives. It’s host Jeff Probst with champagne and orange juice – the makings for mimosas. As he approaches, he makes a comment about Jon and three women in bed, “another first.” And after women see his sexist comments on national TV, almost certainly a last. Jon replies, “Actually not really.” Oookay, Jon. Whatever you say.

Probst says they’ve lasted this long so it’s time to toast the final four. Then he says, “one more thing” and heads back to the boat to get something. Lill says she loves him and wonders if wants to join a troop. Sandra is worried and says it goes from good to bad. But it turns out it’s good to better – he brings letters from loved ones for each of them. I’m forced to wonder if Jon’s is from his grandmother.

As they read their letters, we get the usual selection of tears. Darrah says reading it is hard because she hasn’t talked to anybody in 37 days. She was worried if her dog was okay, and her family. Yes, she said it in that order.

Sandra receives letters from her husband, kids, and mom. She says that she’s had so many other things on her mind with the game, but she is also worried about her family. Now she knows they are fine, so she can focus on the game.

Lill is reading the letter from her kid and is crying. She says having letters from her family made her realize that she has to be strong for them. One letter from her son says something to the effect of, “Someone has to win, someone has to lose. I believe in letting someone else lose.” It’s apparently a Pete Rose quote, though whether it refers to baseball or betting isn’t clear. Jon says Lill went into theatrics over the letter. He says she’s done it from the beginning and he has to tell Sandra and Darrah that if she does it in front of the jury, she’ll win. We never do find out who Jon’s letter is from.

Jon starts to work on the women, hoping he can cause some friction. He asks them if they have a Final 3 alliance. None answer. Privately, he says they all share inferiority complexes to that of a man. I’m not exactly sure what that means, but I know it certainly wasn’t a compliment.

He continues to Lill and Darrah, saying that the fact Sandra jumped ahead of him pisses him off. Awww, poor guy. Lill says that hey, she doesn’t want third place. Jon says of course not, she wants first. And she’ll go all hearts and flowers to get it, just like she did earlier when she was reading her letters from home. Lill says she thinks the jury will focus on skill, like his playing of the game. But Jon says no. He tells her that Darrah and Sandra know she’ll win and won’t take her. So Lill turns to Darrah and asks what she’ll do. Darrah tries to get out of answer it but after repeated questioning under a bright light, with bamboo under her fingernails and other methods known only to the Scouts, she finally caves and admits that she thinks Lill would kick her butt in the finals. Lill says oh, so you won’t take me? And she storms off.

With Lill gone, Jon tried to talk Darrah into getting rid of the Scoutmaster. Darrah says Jon and Sandra are probably her best bet for the Final 3. Then she talks to Sandra and says Lill is being selfish and thinks everybody should take her to the end. Jon, on the other hand, is perfect to take into the Final 2, she says privately. So they should vote out Lill. Sandra says that’s fine as long as it’s not her. Then Sandra gets back and Lill wants to talk to her. Amusingly, rather than get up and walk away from the shelter to talk, Lill just orders Jon out – and he goes. Heh. Lill tells Sandra they have a better shot at immunity if Darrah isn’t there. Sandra agrees and says okay, but they have to tell Jon so he votes the right way. Lill calls him back and tells him that if Darrah doesn’t win immunity, she’s gone. He accepts that – of course!

Privately, he says you create tension when you’re in the hot seat and hope they strike at each other. As a case in point, now it’s either Darrah or Lill, and he’s safe. I’m telling you, with a silver tongue like this guy has, he should drop pro wrestling and seek a future in politics.