Real World/Road Rules Challenge: The Gauntlet, Episode 14: Tubthumper

How’s everybody doing? Did you get what you want for the holidays? Cool. This episode is dedicated to Danny Roberts and his boyfriend Paul. If you skipped out after this episode aired, I’ll break it down: during Real World: New Orleans, Danny and Paul met up romantically several times. The problem was, Paul was in the Army, and his homosexuality was a big problem in the time of “Don’t ask, don’t tell.” So Paul’s face was blurred every time he showed up. Monday night, the blur was finally taken off, and we got the first look at him. I dedicate this recap because I sometimes get so squirreled away in my little area, I forget that others go though tougher times than dealing with the obnoxious. Also, at the beginning of 2003, I found myself cheering on Melissa and her friend Amaya during Sergeant Says. So applauding another Belfort resident and his friend at the end seems fitting. I think I’ll overdose on that season’s marathon this weekend.

Previously on The Gauntlet: Real World won All or Nothing, upping their bank to $40,000, which was half of Road Rules’ total. Mike defeated Abram in the Gauntlet, but RR had nine players left to RW’s seven. Theo V. interviewed that it was tough to lose Abram. Sarah sat on the bench, looking distraught over how the bullet she dodged nailed Abram between the eyes. Roni interviewed that Sarah has gone to the Gauntlet four times and won, and that was big for the team.

We start with some quick cuts, which will be consistent for tonight’s episode. First, we flash from Sarah in the mansion to Adam and Theo V. walking outside. Theo can’t believe she has gone to the Gauntlet four times. He interviews that he likes Sarah and he wants her to stay. He tells Adam that they have to think of a way for her to use her Gauntlet energy in the missions. “Maybe it’s fear,” Adam muses, “a fear of getting sent home.” He’s perceptive, isn’t he? Cut to Sarah in the bedroom with Roni. “Sarah has gotten disqualified two or three times,” Adam interviews. “She is definitely the weakest link. If it was up to me, I would’ve voted her in the Gauntlet every single time, from the very beginning.” You mean he didn’t do that? I guess Tina and Steve were collateral damage. She might be the weakest link, but she doesn’t look like the missing link.

Mountain shots. Sarah laughs about the standard operating procedure of her team. “How many times can one person go into the Gauntlet,” she wonders, “before somebody starts to recognize that maybe that’s not exactly fair.” Shot of her in the bedroom, laughing with Roni. “They want me to go home. If I give up, that’s it.” Also, her “friends” wind up with larger shares from the bank. She laughs painfully, then frowns.

Later. Cara answers the sponsor phone. The clues: individual challenge, pick-up at 7:45 a.m., wear team colors and sneakers.

Mountains. Everybody looks up, as we glimpse some rope hanging from the cliff. Jonny welcomes everybody to Vertical Sweep. The object: to rappel down the cliff face while collecting flags. Nathan expositions that there’s a 100-foot drop. Jonny continues: failure to grab all the flags results in the mandatory (say it with me) worst logged time plus a two-minute penalty. For some reason Theo V. has his hand raised. Jonny concludes: the team with the fastest average time wins $10,000 and a sponsor audio notebook. He presents it with a big grin on his face. I know he annoys me, but I’m going to miss him when he leaves. “We really need everybody to step up here in the Vertical Sweep,” Theo V. drawls. “We need all the ladies to get lovely in this rock, and we need all the guys to come through. It’s gonna be tough.”

Darrell is first to descend, as he reminds us of his fear of heights. Jonny blows his airhorn and Darrell slowly descends. As he grabs the flags, Adam shouts advice to him. Darrell slides to the left, picking up another flag. “I just simply don’t trust equipment,” Darrell interviews, while we see a random key grip fiddling with the cord. “Man made it, it was made to be broken.” At least he didn’t say, “I don’t wanna hear, ‘Come on, Darrell!’” He grabs another flag before slamming into the mountain. Cut to a tight shot of Sarah. She interviews that seeing Darrell struggle she is hoping she can kick ass. Darrell grabs the final flag, clocking out at three minutes, 43 seconds.

Nathan descends, taking his time as Alton cheers him on. Irulan interviews that RW is stepping it up, “In every individual mission that we have,” she adds, “we shine and we win.” Nathan comes down at 4:00, getting hugged by Mike and Alton.

Roni jumps around, having trouble. Adam yells at her, telling her to cinch the rope. She climbs up to retrieve a flag, then twirls on the rope. Cut to Sarah, looking worried. Since she mentioned in a recap that Roni had firefighter training, I can’t blame her. “It’s really hard for me to maintain a positive energy level,” Sarah interviews. “It would really suck to go home with nothing.” Roni snags the final flag, hitting the ground at 9:59.

Techno montage! Theo G. yells while swinging. Veronica looks like she’s having an easy time of it as she grabs a flag. Theo V. grabs a flag. Mike descends. Theo G. finishes at 4:30. Theo V.: 1:46. Mike descends and the camera pans to Sarah. He finishes at 1:46. No shot of Veronica finishing. Average times: RW 4:12, RR 5:16. Since I have no life, I took the times at face value and calculated Veronica’s time at 5:36. Hey, I gotta use my math degree somewhere.

Suddenly, there’s an annoying pinging, like something off a submarine’s radar. Sarah looks on as Mike gets love from his team. “I’m just trying really hard to stay focused on the task at hand,” she interviews. “Screw the past, screw the future. Today is today.” She gets ready at the top, a little nervous, but in good spirits. Maybe she’ll be okay. It’s not like the producers showed her wiping out two weeks ago. Oh, wait... they did. Never mind.

Back from commercials, Sarah starts her descent. Adam yells instructions and encouragement from the ground. She snags a flag and all is well. The soundtrack gets happy, repeating, “I’m gonna do it!” She keeps grabbing flags. Adam looks like he doesn’t totally hate her. Soundtrack: “Isn’t it time to shine?” She keeps grabbing flags before getting stuck in a crack. She slowly crawls up to grab it. All in all, she’s kicking butt. Adam yells that her “momentum is awesome!” She swings left, hitting the wall hard with her back. Adam grimaces. She floats down on the rope, hitting the wall again. She whimpers as she tries to climb up. “Come on, you got it!” Roni hollers. “You do not quit!” Sarah grabs a flag, hitting the wall once more. Roni yells for her to pick her feet up. Sarah pushes herself off the wall, only to hit the wall and the ground. Damn, that had to hurt. Disqualification. Cara and Roni rush up to help her as we see the final flag still in place.