VH1 News Presents: Reality Secrets Revealed

People have always loved game shows for bringing money, love, and adventure to the general public, and reality has just upped the ante. Prof. Robert Thompson, pop culture expert, Syracuse University, says that everyone is dying to hear what other people say during private moments. Will we hear some magic words or something even stupider than what we come up with? Apparently, along with the money and exposure, some people actually have hopes of finding love. Toni Ferarri says that she was just out of a relationship and wanted to meet someone. Jill Nicolini says that she was 25 at the time, had been looking for the right guy without success for years, and thought she would give it a shot. So, is she saying she actually went on Married By America in hopes of finding a husband? Really? Wow, if that’s even a little true that’s so sad and I feel bad for mocking her. That was a lie, I don’t feel bad at all. Some people have a more realistic view of the process, though, as shown by Sarah Kozer. She never thought for a minute that Evan was there to meet a girlfriend. According to her you can’t spend five minutes with him without knowing if he wasn’t at the chalet he would be at Hooters. I like her, she is a real truth screamer.

Matthew Felling lists the best places to meet someone if you’re single… the grocery store, public transportation, walking down the street – but not national television. Jason Gay states the obvious that while these shows can be addicting to the audience it is the silliest idea to think that you could find love or marriage via this process. Chris Harrison says that what heightens emotional climate of the participants is the isolation. They aren’t allowed contact with family, friends, or even allowed to read a newspaper so they become obsessed with the pre-selected object of their affections. Jill Nicolini feels that every day she and Kevin spent together was like a week since you are together 24/7. I’m thinking every day with her probably felt more like a decade to Kevin. Just a guess. Toni Ferrari says that since you have nothing to do but talk, it speeds up the relationship. Back to Jill, she goes on to say, “It was a little uncomfortable to meet someone and all of a sudden they are your fiancé. You get (something inaudible that sounded like swepenawtaway) and you know nothing about the person.” Couple of things… one, to most people, wearing pinchy shoes is “a little uncomfortable” and meeting someone America voted to become your fiancé is more in the realm of “a little insane.” I get the feeling Jill’s worldview is a quite different than that of the rest of us. Oh, and someone looking for a career in front of the camera might want to work on their enunciation. Just trying to help. Back to the show… Jill says she and Kevin actually liked each other and continued dating after the show but knew quickly he wasn’t her type as she’s 100% committed to her career and he didn’t have a job. It wasn’t a good match. Who knew? Except everyone who lost hours from their lives watching that show?

Barbara DeAngelis, human relations expert, says that women find most of the men on these shows laughable. Sarah Kozer is back to say that after dates with Evan the girls would mock him and the things he would say. Not all the guys on these shows are particularly good catches. Rob Campos, For Love Or Money, prior to the show had been kicked out of the Marine Corps’ JAG Unit for drunkenly groping a female officer. And who can forget Rick Rockwell, Who Wants To Marry A Multimillionaire?, granddaddy of “romance” reality. Ben Pappas reminds us that he had previous relationships that resulted in restraining orders being issued against him, making him a less than desirable candidate for marriage.

People are tuning in to see quick hook-ups and/or painful break-ups. Will Bohlen, TV columnist, brings us back to the nightmare that was the Billie Jeane/Tony finale to Married By America. He called it the most gut wrenching break-up of the year and that it was “a good pay-off for watching this crappy show.” I don’t know. I recapped that crappy show, and I didn’t enjoy the good pay-off. I just felt dirty after watching that. Matt Kunitz feels that emotion helps reality TV, either love or tears. Chris Harrison thinks people love to watch other people be pathetic. I don’t think he’s wrong. He says that on the latest edition of The Bachelor they selected women who had already seen Bob Guiney get rejected by Trista Rehn on The Bachelorette and all the women fell so in love with him so quickly. It was hard, in this instance, not to have too much drama. The women may not have been that emotional in their day-to-day lives but the situation brought it out.

Since it is more than a crying game, Ben Pappas points out that there is a lot of pressure to keep upping the ante with sizzle and skin. Matt Felling says that from the first slurping the genre is heading to straight reality porn. Poor Sarah, as we learned earlier that wasn’t even actual slurping. There is nothing more damaging to a girl’s reputation than a disingenuous slurp, I always say. Zora Andrich says that she and Evan were both pressured to dial it up. He was told to kiss her on that date and it was strongly suggested to her that she kiss him in return.

Hey, did you know that the first day in Vegas those crazy Real World kids were having sex in the hot tub? I know I’m shocked. Trishelle says that every person in that house had a lot of sex in Vegas. I hope that’s true or she could get some serious fallout at MTV challenges for flinging a little dirt just so she doesn’t look so bad. Jason Gay reminds us of the first season of the Real World, when the cast actually looked like real people and were imperfect and relatable. Yet everyone on the Vegas cast looks like they belonged in a strip club. They aren’t looking for fat shlubs but rather beautiful people. I don’t know, maybe in Vegas they were particularly pretty but not every Real World alum will be heading to The Ford Modeling Agency when their run is over.

On to another big shocking secret that shocks no one. Alcohol is flowing freely on these shows. Did you know drinking makes one less inhibited and more likely to have sex with strangers, be belligerent, or engage in other inappropriate behavior? I now know this since they told me so. Trishelle again knew the cameras were filming her but didn’t think about it, then when she sobered up she called her daddy and sister and anyone else who might be ashamed of her behavior to confess before the airtime. I want to say here – I love to mock Trishelle, she does make it so easy, but I have some sympathy for her. There are a lot of us whose behavior at her age would have shocked and shamed our families had they known at the time. Most of us didn’t have a camera crew following us so innocence was easier to project with a straight face.