‘Til Death Do Us Part: Carmen and Dave, Episode 2: The Wedding Planners

The ratings are in for last weeks season openers of Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica and ‘Til Death Do Us Part: Carmen and Dave. Nick and Jessica had 4.7 million viewers while Carmen and Dave netted 3.3 million. I assume, if you are reading this, you aren’t among the 1.4 million viewers who dropped out before ’Til Death Do Us Part started. I’d tell you to watch, but no use preaching to the choir.

A little trivia about the show: according to an Associated Press interview, Dave says that, unlike some other reality shows (e.g.Newlyweds and The Osbournes), the cameras were only around during the wedding activities. Their house was not wired, so they did have more control over their situation. Smart move.

Be warned, I loved this show just as much as last week (which rarely happens; I’m pretty fickle in terms of my television affection) so my enthusiasm might be a little hard to take. I’ll try to control myself.

That’s enough extraneous info. On to this episode…

Dave and Carmen are in a car, Dave’s driving, and they talk about the big deal the wedding has become. He wonders if it should be that big a deal. I totally get what he means. Marriage is a big deal, but when you’re planning a wedding you get so lost in the minutia, you kind of lose touch with reality a little bit. Carmen agrees with Dave, and then tells him it’s supposed to be their special day. A special day to Dave is one he doesn’t freak out about for the 9 months leading up to it. Amen. He then notes that he once f**ked her in that very street. Right in the middle of the street. Damn, where were the Celebrities Uncensored cameras when we needed them? He thinks that’s the kind of stuff that tends to stop once you’re married. She agrees that sometimes marriage puts an end to the spontaneous, fun, and sexy things you do. It really doesn’t, you just tend to not do so many of them in public. Dave says he, “would much rather have the life he has now than a spontaneous f**k in the street.”

He may be a little blunt for some people, but that sentiment is very romantic.

They arrive at their destination, The Hidden Garden, to meet with Randie (the wedding planner). Dave tells Randie she looks beautiful, and she beams. Honestly, this guy is so charming I wish he would hire me to do something. I could write glowing press releases, Dave - have your people call me. Carmen is meanwhile being kissed by the cutest little bulldog. I just love businesses where pets roam free, I really do, and Carmen is so cute about it. Carmen, Dave, Randie, Mimi (who I think is Randie’s assistant, but she may work for Hidden Garden), and Amy (the owner of Hidden Garden) sit to discuss the arrangements. Dave asks for a rundown on the costs. Amy says they want to plan the details first, and then discuss costs. Dave opines, “That’s where they getcha.” You really like a design and then find out it costs a fortune. Truer words were never spoken.

They talk about flowers, debating between using white or red. Dave feels red would be better since that will stand out more and be more dramatic, more sexy. As they discuss how the bottom of the bouquet will be covered, Dave notices how quiet Carmen has been. He asks her if she’s lost, and she confesses that she is, a little bit. The professionals joke that Dave is the bride. Back to the color of the flowers, Dave says that he will be wearing a dark suit and so the red will work better. Carmen giggles that she hopes he will be wearing a suit, not a dress, since Dennis wore the dress. She’s referring to her first marriage to Dennis Rodman which lasted all of 9 days. Dave knows, he knows… and everyone laughs.

Dave breaks it all down telling Mimi and Randie that they have to have his back. All he wants is for Carmen to be the centerpiece, and for them to coordinate everything around her.

If that shouldn’t be near the top of the list of “Things every fiancé should say,” I don’t know what should.

While talking, they are eating. I have to note than unlike another MTV reality show (cough…Newlyweds…cough), everyone manages to chew with their mouths closed. That’s such a nice change of pace for me. Carmen says that you don’t want people in your circle who have negative energy. Dave says that that energy does make for some good times, though. She laughs, while Dave continues that he used to have great vultures in his life. He is glad he and Carmen went through their vulture phases before they met.

Randie asks Carmen if she’s enjoying the food. She is, but is saving room for the cake. Dave says he won’t taste the cakes, as if he does he’ll wake up in a gutter downtown covered in Twinkie wrappers, not knowing how he got there. Carmen laughs and agrees he’s quite the binger. This is a nice segue to…

The cake tasting. Driving there, Dave and Carmen discuss how some people think everything is fun until you’re married, then it all goes down hill. Some of Dave’s friends were warning him about that, which causes Carmen to make a sad face. They also pointed out that he will be settling for one girl for the rest of his life. As Dave says, he wisely pointed out to them, “but it’s f**king Carmen Electra, dude!” He tells her he would marry her, even if he didn’t like her very much, because she’s so hot.

If my fiancé ever said that to me he would have a free pass for the rest of his life. I would be incapable of ever being mad at him for anything, after that.