Survivor: All-Stars, Episode One: First, Uh, Re-impressions

While it's obvious that some of the players in Survivor: All-Stars have learned from past mistakes (we think), it's equally obvious that some haven't learned a thing, and can no more change the way they play than a tiger can change his stripes. In fact, some of the players make you wonder exactly what they're thinking. Let's take it tribe by tribe.

First, there's the Chapera tribe. Let's take a look at possibly the strongest woman in the competition, Alicia. While physically, she appears to be in as good a shape as ever, she's losing her cool with Boston Rob early on, the way she did with Kimmi. The only difference so far is that we haven't seen her wave her finger in his face. Yet. Here's what could be Alicia's saving grace: If Mark Burnett held a challenge similar to the strength match-up in Pearl Islands that pitted Rupert against Osten, only using the women, who would stand a chance against the fitness goddess? The short-handed Saboga tribe has to choose between Jenna Loudness, uh, Lewis, and Jerri, and while both ladies are competitive, it's doubtful they could hold a candle (assuming they ever get a fire started) to Alicia. As for the Mogo Mogo tribe, their choices are Jenna M., Shii Ann, and Kathy. Now, while all three ladies are strong-willed and adept at challenges, I wouldn't match any of them against Alicia when it comes to pure strength. But if she isn't strong enough to rein in her tongue, she could find herself again on the outs, this time before making the jury.

Then, there's Lil' Abner, uh, Amber. You have no doubt seen how some sitcom characters reprise their roles on other shows, and while the setting is different, their personality doesn't change much. Well, such is the case with Amber, only instead of playing a lead role, she's once again a second banana. In the Outback, she was Jerri's minion. This time, without Jerri to do her thinking for her, she's latched on to Boston, or Bossin' Rob, aka the Gaadfaathuh. It's hard to tell if this is her strategy or just her natural personality. I'm guessing it's just the way she is. Of course, in a game, and for that matter, a tribe with so many strong personalities, someone has to be a supporting player. As it looks now, she might last awhile if no one notices her and she lets the more vocal ones slug, er, shout it out. Of course, if there's a switch or Rob is ousted, she could be in some trouble, much the way she was when Jerri was Outback-outed.

And then, of course, is my favorite Survivor of all time, Susan Hawk. If my friend Mitzie is reading this right now, she's laughing her head off, because she knows that for me to call Sue my favorite Survivor gives new meaning to the phrase "dripping with sarcasm." When Sue appeared on The Weakest Link with five other Palua Tiga alumni, she was the second one voted off (after Rich), and she said she was voted off because she was the second most hated person there. She shows similar self-awareness in All-Stars, noting that she'll be the first one out because she's the most outspoken, although Rob and Alicia could certainly give her a run for the money.

However, it may not be Sue's mouth that does her in this time. Instead, it may just be her decision to drink the water without boiling it first. Yes, I heard what she said about having enough beaver poop in her system to kill whatever else is there. Meanwhile, it's obvious that Bossin' Rob thinks she's killed off a few brain cells, calling her a "dumb-ass" for drinking the stuff. Then, there's her refusal to try and make fire, saying she wore herself out in Palua Tiga trying to do so, without success. Well, that was several continents, several years, and umpteen games ago. While I can see why she didn't want to wear herself out again, she could've at least made it somewhat look good, or at least be less vocal about it.

Later on, she really showed her team spirit by laying down looking lifeless while the rest of her tribe crowded around the tree-mail. Did anyone else wonder if she was starting to feel ill from the effects of the water? After all, it's not like Mark Burnett would ever show anyone throwing up – uh, never mind. So now, we've seen her drink unboiled water, refuse to build fire, and lay down on the job. So far, she's given her tribe enough reasons to boot her even if she keeps her mouth shut.

Then of course, there are the men on the tribe. Rob Cesternino looks as if he'll play the exact same way he did last time, and frankly, I don't see why he shouldn't. After all, in my opinion, if there were any justice, he would be playing this game as a previous winner. He said he can't wait to start wheeling and dealing again, and it's a good bet he'll be smart about it. He may be in trouble eventually only because the others know how shrewd he is, but he should be around awhile.