The Apprentice: Weekly Performance Review, Episode 5 – A Reshuffled Deck Deals a Bad Hand

New Protégé:

Troy: What can I say? You’re trying your best to make the best of a bad situation, trying to take a leadership role where none exists on your team. You don’t always make the best decisions, but trying and giving constructive ideas is a damn sight better than whining and bitching.

Kwame: On the other hand, you seem to be incapable of doing anything unless someone else suggests it first. You’re going through this show like a robot, a Harvard-programmed automaton.

Jessie: You seem way too timid to make any sort of impact. You got distracted by the pigeons while trying to give Kristi advice, for crying out loud! Some people have wondered if this was part of your strategy, but I don’t give you that much credit.

Omarosa: You’ve now proven yourself to be more than all attitude, but it appears that the women still don’t like you. I’m beginning to come around, recognizing you as a smart businesswoman who takes no crap. If you can keep the hubris down, you will go farther in the show. Next week is your big chance, but I think it may be your downfall.

Heidi: Heidi, there’s a big difference between disagreeing with the Project Manager and bringing the team down. I think you were as much to blame due to your horrible attitude as Kristi’s lack of direction. You checked out before the task ever began. They may have cut out some of your contributions in editing, but even had you sold a lot of merchandise, it obviously wasn’t anywhere close to enough.

So not only are you a poor salesperson, you’re a worse loser. Please, let me know, how were you stabbed in the back? Kristi (according to the editing, anyway) hadn’t even made her decision yet, and even if she had, the constant spew of filth from your mouth would have been enough. Add your constant whining and complaining, along with your lack of contribution, and Kristi had plenty of reason to choose you.

It should be obvious that, no, you haven’t impressed me and I don’t like you – or at least the Heidi Bressler that is on this show every week. Sure, it’s possible that in real life you might be different than the snotty, vulgar, arrogant, ignorant, and yes, annoying person that we see on the screen. Somehow, I doubt it.

Kristi: What happened? I saw you as the Golden Child, ready to step up and claim your crown. Obviously, I was wrong. The self-confident, assured woman we had been watching in the past disappeared, shocking both me and Donald Trump. Should you have been fired? If this is the real Kristi, then yes.

Next week, Donald refers to someone as rude before he fires them. I’ve decided that this is either Tammy, Omarosa, or Heidi. Needless to say, I’m hoping beyond hope that Heidi will hit the streets next week.

Mike DeGeorge has a Bachelor of Science Degree in Business Management from Christian Brothers University in Memphis, and over 10 years of real-world management experience. Email Mike at mikmaria@charter.net.

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