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The Bachelorette 2, Episode 4: I Really, Really, Really, Really, Really, Really Didn’t Want To Write This Recapby C. Brian Devinney -- 02/09/2004
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That’s how I have to start this one off… one long sigh. Go ahead and do one yourselves. I’ll wait for you.
So we had seven guys on this episode and by the time we get to the end of this recap we’re going to be down to four, you’re going to have the chance to answer a poll question, a quick update on a former competitor, and learn the truth about one of the contestants that just defies explanation.
It sounds so exciting.
Then why am I just not in the mood to do this recap? You’ll know the answer to that one soon enough as well.
But first the poll question, because who doesn’t like a poll question? Someone emailed in and said that I needed to focus more on the show recap itself and not write anything about my personal life as well as cut back on the “puerile humor.” So… this is where I turn to you, the readers, to tell me what you want. If you want a strict, by the book recap of the show (which you can get just by going to the ABC website), then vote accordingly. If you want the fun zaniness that you have to know and love for the past… way too many seasons… then vote accordingly. If you want even more fun and wackiness… well, I’m sure there are some Three Stooges episodes I could throw in as well. And for those who think I may be talking a bit too much about odd things (I mean there was that Miss USA 1973 thing we had going on for a while, remember?) or not enough… well you can vote for that too… so here we go you, sexy readers, you. Vote away!
Quick update time – Kyla from Bachelor 2 was crowned Miss Utah USA and will compete in the Miss USA Pageant later this year against, of all people, the sister of one of her former castmates. “Psycho” Christi “It hurts me… it hurts my heart” Weible’s sister was crowned Miss Idaho USA and will be there with her as well. I’m taking bets as to whether either will make it to the top ten (or twelve or forty or whatever they do nowadays).
So… there’s that. Now let’s get into the other thing I talked about – the truth behind one of the men on the show. Well… I was referred to an article in (I believe) US Weekly that commented on something Kelly Jo (the woman lucky enough to be the last one rejected by Bob) said in regards to the men on the show. She stated that Todd, our restaurateur from California, used Gold Bond Powder for jock itch. Well, I would like the people at US Weekly to carefully watch this episode and note that not only is Todd not around, there’s just no way that Kelly Jo could have known about the itchiness of his jock unless she has some special access to his jock that no one else had (including Meredith apparently). So, the bottom line is this people… Todd’s jock doesn’t itch. And if it did and if he used Gold Bond Powder to relieve himself of said itchiness… well… I think the Gold Bond people would have a new spokesperson on their hands, wouldn’t you think.
But enough about that… it’s recap time. Make sure your trays are in the upright position and your seatbelts safely fastened because this is gonna be one freakingly bumpy ride. I mean after last week’s little tizzy following the rose ceremony, this show has a lot to live up to if they want to keep using the phrase, “The most dramatic rose ceremony… EVER!” But before we get to that we get introduced to Kelly Jo and Meredith’s friend, T.J., who will be judging this week’s individual date competition.
Now frankly, I’ve always liked this episode because we get to see the competitors go through some wild interview questions asking things like, “Candle light or candle wax?” and it just gives you a bit of insight into the people that are left. Okay, I really like it because I get to see how kinky these people really are when asked point blank on certain topics.
Do we get that this year? OF COURSE NOT! Why? Because that would make me happy and we all know that things that make Brian happy do not make for a nice recap. These guys have to write a freaking letter to Kelly Jo and TJ explaining why they should be the one to get the one-on-one date with Meredith with one hour to pour their heart out into the letter and really tell it all. If Ryan M. can write as much as he can talk, then we are in serious trouble here and this is going to wind up being a two-part episode.
Cue montage of the men taking the entire hour to write a letter that doesn’t start off with, “I really want the date with Meredith because I think she’s a total hotass and I would love to jump her bones.”
After the hour of writing mayhem, the men come back into the living room where they learn that they will not have to turn over their letters to Kelly Jo and TJ for dissection, they are now going to have to do dramatic readings of their letters for the edification of Kelly Jo and TJ. Oh boy. This ought to be a lot of fun.1 2 3 4 Next-->
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