The Littlest Groom: A Preview from a Reluctant Recapper

Several months ago RealityNewsOnline received word that Fox Broadcasting was preparing a reality dating show involving little people. A collective shudder ran through the staff that, while causing no lasting damage, rattled windows and dishes throughout the neighborhood, caused paintings at a nearby museum to fall from the walls, and was officially registered on seismometers over 30 miles away. The consensus amongst the writers was that Fox would handle this show with all the delicate sensitivity of Marge Schott at a meeting of Hasidic Rabbis.

Well time has passed and the show, like an asteroid approaching earth on a collision course, is about to crash into the reality show landscape. Produced as a two-part miniseries, The Littlest Groom will debut this coming Monday night. Word came down from the oaken throne room of the RNO Office Complex and Sushi Bar that management was looking for someone to write the recaps and commentaries on the show. We all tried to look very busy. Sting7 snatched the phone off his desk cradle and pretended to be in final negotiations to snag that ever-elusive Nikki McKibbin interview. Phil Kural began updating his little black book filled with the numbers of America’s Next Top Model, contestants while Betsy began manically casting runes and gazing into a crystal ball (which we all suspect is really the middle of an old chandelier) to discern the next Survivor castoff. Like the last man standing when the melody stops during a game of musical chairs, I stuck out like a sore thumb. I thought to myself, “How bad could this really be?” Now the last time this thought crossed my mind I wound up writing a Reality TV Hall of Shame induction after watching Married By America, but let’s not get into that right now.

So what can you expect from The Littlest Groom?

The show will star 23 year-old Glenn Foster who has said that he views the show as an opportunity for average-sized people to see into the lives of little people. “What I want is for people to watch the show and say, ‘I watched the show and completely forgot he was little,’” he says. Glenn has worked as an NBA mascot so is no stranger to being in the public eye. He is of course, mum as to the outcome of the show but will go so far as to say that he is still involved in an active relationship with the woman he chose during filming. His love life has involved dating other little people as well as several average-size women, but real love has eluded him thus far.

Glenn will be choosing from a collection of 12 single women – all little people like himself. However, Fox makes no secret of the fact that in the second episode, three average-size women will be thrown into the mix as well. In recent months little people have begun to be more of a presence in television. MTV presented a program about a diminutive aspiring singer and a young lady with a lot of vocal talent who was selected to come to the Hollywood elimination rounds of American Idol this season, but this is the first time a major network has taken the risk of creating an entire show focusing on a little person. When contacted about the potential for insensitivity issues, Executive Producer of The Littlest Groom, Bill Paolantonio was quick to point out that casting for the show was done through the advocacy group Little People of America and said, “We have gone to great lengths to make sure everybody on this program was treated with dignity and respect.” This makes me feel quite a bit better, but I’ll believe it when I see it.

What can you expect from my articles about the show?

Regular readers of RNO and Foxes on Idol that have seen my previous articles know that I am blunt in my opinions but that I also try to interject some humor into what I write. That will not change. However, I’m not approaching this show on some kind of politically correct witch-hunt, nor will I resort to taking cheap shots at a minority group that has faced more than its share of exploitation through the years. If you are looking for a bunch of “midget” jokes to retell so you can amaze and delight your friends, keep right on searching because you won’t find them here. I think the biggest challenge facing producers of this show is to make an interesting dating program. The fact that little people populate it is the obvious hook, but should only be ancillary to the show itself. I’ve read quite a bit about Glenn and he seems like a nice guy. For me the knowledge that he and his chosen lady are still together makes me eager to see the show and watch for the chemistry to develop and I intend to watch and write as I have done with every other show I’ve covered – hoping to have and share some laughs, and learn a bit more about what makes us human beings tick. I think a lot of people will publicly express disdain at the idea of watching this show and then quietly flip it on in the privacy of their own homes. If Fox handles this show properly and doesn’t turn it into a circus side-show attraction, the program will stand on its own merits and make for some very good television. I for one am crossing my fingers and tuning in. I hope you will too. Don’t worry. I won’t tell any of your politically correct friends.

Bruce Barker is the co-owner of Movie Boss – a free online game. He has also been writing about the entertainment industry for over 10 years with articles appearing in numerous publications including Box Office Magazine. You can contact him at bbarker57@yahoo.com.

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