The Bachelorette 2: Advice for the Remaining Two Bachelors

As Chris Harrison will undoubtedly say on the upcoming finale of The Bachelorette 2, it’s all come down to this: Meredith must choose between Matthew and Ian. She has said that she has feelings for both of them, and in turn, both guys have said that they are falling for Meredith. But that last tray will only have one rose on it. What should Ian and Matthew do to get that rose? And what can they learn from Chad, the man sent home this week? Luckily for Ian and Matthew, I’m here to offer a little friendly advice.

First, let’s look at Meredith’s date with Chad. She said that she liked him, but on invitation night, she told Chris that she knew which two guys she wanted to pick – no agonizing this week. Why didn’t Meredith give Chad a rose?

At first glance, the answer is easy. Chad is 31, out of work, and lives with his mother. That isn’t exactly a dream set-up for most women, and although it wasn’t the only reason Meredith sent Chad home, it was a big part of it. Before their date, Meredith said that she wanted to learn a little more about Chad’s life. Chad, for his part, knew that Meredith was surprised to hear about his employment status for the first time on their hometown date. He had to have known that Meredith would want to know more, and he really should have started the conversation about it, but she was the one to initiate it. Once she did, Chad was honest. He didn’t sugar-coat the fact that he lives with his mother, and he told her that the company he was working for closed. His openness was good, but I wasn’t impressed when he said that the two of them had never really talked about that sort of thing. Really? Never? They never, on any of their dates, talked about what either of them does for a living? That seems unlikely. Either Meredith and Chad had nothing but incredibly superficial conversations, or Chad was a little less than up-front in telling Meredith about his job.

But Chad’s evasiveness about his employment status wasn’t the only thing that scared Meredith off. Before the date, Chad said that he wanted to get more romantic with her, but when he did, it was a disaster. As the two of them snuggled on a couch, Chad gave a big long speech about how he wanted them to share their first passionate kiss, that he wanted to find the right moment, and that you can learn a lot from a kiss… and on, and on, and on. Meredith told him not to ask her first, to just do it. Later, in the fantasy suite, Chad leaned in for a kiss as Meredith moved in a different direction – awkward. Then, Meredith asked Chad if he is a “sexual person.” After pondering this question for a few minutes, Chad said that he is. Meredith’s response was simply, “Hmm. Interesting.” If you read between the lines, you’ll see a, “because you could have fooled me.” I noticed that throughout their date, just about every time they kissed, Meredith took the initiative. And she was shocked when Chad was as aggressive as he was about wanting to go to the fantasy suite with her, since he hadn’t been assertive at all before.

Chad is a good guy, but he and Meredith just aren’t compatible. He didn’t tell her about his job situation until he had to, so he must not be comfortable opening up with her. And they just didn’t have the right chemistry. They’ll probably make great friends. What can Ian and Matthew learn from Chad? First and foremost, tell Meredith about yourself, and be honest, warts and all. Second, when it comes to the physical side of your relationship, make sure Meredith isn’t the one taking the lead all the time.

Now let’s look at Ian. Meredith said at the beginning of their date that she wants to know how he feels about her. Ian asked her what she worried about, and Meredith told him that her main concern was when she’d see him next. Ian wondered if that was true, and she had to tell him that she is not a great communicator, so he should take what she says at face value. They then communicated by kissing. Ian declared, “Now that’s my form of communication!”

Over dinner, Ian brought up the subject of what will happen when the show ends. He told her that no matter what, he would not propose to her on TV, that he wants to keep his private life private. I can understand not wanting to sign on for a Trista and Ryan’s Wedding extravaganza, but if Ian really wanted to keep his life private, he shouldn’t have gone on The Bachelorette. Anyway, Meredith told him that getting an engagement ring isn’t her focus; finding love is.