Real World/Road Rules Challenge: The Inferno, Episode 5: Disco Inferno

Before I get started on this episode, I should throw in my two cents on the treatment of Trishelle on the final episode of The Surreal Life 2. Make no mistake, I don’t like her. We’re in different worlds, and I don’t necessarily see her youth as an excuse for her behavior. And yes, I celebrated each time she was bounced from the Challenge. But you know what? She did not need to be dressed down by the likes of Sally Jesse Raphael. Treating Trishelle like trash was Sally Jesse’s job? Last I checked, she didn’t have a job. I had the misfortune of attending a taping of her show back in the day. Believe me, Sally Jesse belonged in that house more than anybody in there, including Trishelle. Now that I’ve defended Trishelle, anticipate pigs fly over Wrigley Field in October during the Red Sox/Cubs World Series.

Previously on The Inferno: After a heated Real World meeting, Trishelle ended up going to the Inferno. Road Rules thumped RW in Climbing Wall. Abram taunted Mike with “Who’s the big winner?” I’m telling you, that’s quickly supplanting Laterrian’s “Hoo-RAH!” as the show’s catchphrase. In the Inferno, Holly outlasted Trishelle in a chili-eating contest. CT interviews that his team needs to step up.

Night. Now it’s time for another Challenge tradition: Mike looking to hook up with a girl. This season, the lovely Kendal is in his crosshairs. Here, he wrestles with her playfully, calling out moves and tossing her around. As much as I loathe the “Miz” persona, I concede that Mike has good amateur wrestling skills. He’s so quick, Kendal has little time to react. Mike interviews that Kendal is very sweet and angelic. She interviews that she’s enjoying Mike’s company. He manages to pull down both her socks and pulls a sneaker off her foot. Yeah... that’s love.

Mike is at a table with Julie, who is showing off 327 of her front teeth. He’s going on about he uses Jacuzzis in a romantic way. Kendal thinks that he needs a tool to get the girls. “All this cuteness with Mike and Kendal is just overwhelmingly sickening,” Julie interviews, “Mike and Kendal are Ken and Barbie. They’re the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.” Mike keeps insisting that all women go for the Jacuzzi, and that they want to be bad. Kendal leaves, but returns to dump a glass of water on Mike’s head. The hilarity never seems to end.

RW area. Coral tells the team that the losing “ain’t cracking.” She figures that the team should decide who should go and win in the Inferno. Syrus interviews that the team has “huge freakin’ hogs, like thoroughbreds,” but none of that want to go into the Inferno. Mike interviews that they’ve tried several plans, but none of them work because of the in-fighting.

Breakfast. A shirtless and scruffy David reads the clue off the sponsored communications device. I can hear the thuds nationwide, as the ladies swoon and hit the floor. CT interviews that RW has to step up, since they have two fewer people. Christena: “We want to keep this lead we have. I think we’re tearing away at their team, and I think it’s beautiful.”

Shots of Acapulco life. Cut to Dave, welcoming everybody to El Alebrije, the largest club in Latin America. Today’s mission? Disco Domino Derby. Each team gets 110 giant dominos. The objective: line them up and knock them over with one push. The first team to get it done wins $10,000 for their bank, as well as a home entertainment component. Naturally, the kids cheer harder for that than the check. Dave’s motions with the arm? Pretty good for a novice host. Gotta move that product, man. “Any time you throw a prize in there,” Coral interviews, “greedy Real Worlders will snatch it up.” Dave adds a twist: the teams will be geared up with roller skates and disco outfits. Nice way to distract from a dull mission.

Both teams suit up. After Heavyweight Hustle and the fat suits, I have no problem with the retro gear. Afros are everywhere... even Darrell gets one, even though he’s got another back at the villa. Katie tries to find a feminine outfit. CT looks like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever... y’know, if Travolta had walked the streets of Boston. Mike has a helmet over an afro, and I keep thinking of Oscar Gamble. Syrus dons a lime pimp suit with black-and-white zebra-striped lapels. Timmy’s suit has an eagle on it. Needless to say, the players are having fun, and I don’t hate them for it.

RR skull session. Timmy instructs Jeremy to deliver the dominos. Jeremy goes off on yet another monologue about how he’s the New Kid and he has to Prove Himself To The Others. Holly: “I think there’s some Real World pride at stake here. To go behind 4-1... wouldn’t that be pretty for them?” Over on the RW side, David advises his goofy-suited troops to be efficient. Mike interviews that RW is down by two players, and they have to work twice as hard to make it up.

Dave blows his airhorn, and both teams start rolling. Here’s where I’d be screwed. I can’t skate. I’d be clinging to a wall, shouting directions. “We have more people to set up the domino, more experienced roller skaters,” Jeremy interviews. “If we don’t win this, there is something seriously wrong with our team.” More rolling and assembling. Mallory interviews about the importance of skating. Suddenly, Mike tips over a domino, leading to a premature chain reaction. What kills me is that David calls out “Michael!” That is such a David thing, calling Mike by his birth name. Mike interviews that he managed to knock down the back half, and his mistake could cost his team the mission. RW frantically starts reassembling. David interviews that the only thing to do is keep your head in the game.

More rolling. More assembling. This is the soccer of missions... fun to play, boring to watch. Jeremy rolls around, bragging about how he was born on four wheels. He was born in a car? I can see that. Assembling. Position adjusting. RR rushes, as does RW. Suddenly, the atmosphere takes the feeling of DEFCON 2. RR pushes their first domino, followed by RW. The camera follows one RR line... but pans to another, which has stopped dead on a staircase. Kendal interviews that a domino was on the wrong stair. Actually, the problem is that a stair was skipped, and one domino didn’t strike another with enough force to continue the reaction.

Meanwhile, the RW line keeps moving, finishing first. The team celebrates, as the lights flicker brightly. Syrus to Mike: “You are three men and one woman all in one!” What? Seriously... what? Mike interviews about how the team came together, while Coral and Syrus playfully grind on him.