Mad Mad House: Something Wiccan This Way Comes

The Sci-Fi channel has cordially invited America to its first reality series. Mad Mad House will be airing several times per week (check local listings) with the first weekly broadcast on Thursday evenings at 9 pm Eastern Time (starting tonight). RealityNewsOnline wanted someone to recap every good, bad, and ugly moment of the series and I was eager to volunteer for the job. If you are unfamiliar with the show here are some of the details:

Ten ordinary people will move into a house and compete each week for the right to stay. Cameras will follow their every movement, and the last person standing will win a one hundred thousand dollar prize. No, this is not Big Brother lite. In fact, what I’ve described thus far is the only “ordinary” thing about the show!

Living with these ten people in the house are five “alts,” which is the Sci-Fi Channel’s word for people who live what are considered alternative lifestyles. They are, according to the descriptions given by the producers, a witch, a naturist, a modern primitive, a voodoo priestess, and a vampire. These five individuals will govern the happenings in the house and will ultimately decide the fate of the “regular” contestants. Some of these alts have built nice careers centered on teaching others how to practice what they themselves preach. In some cases it’s very easy to laugh at what they have to say because it is so different from the way “normal” people look at life. With a couple of them, credibility is an early issue, because one can’t help but wonder if their motivation for doing this show is as basic as the desire to plug a new book or merchandising notion. However, in a recent interview one of the “alts” specifically requested that everyone remain “non-prejudgemental” and, in that spirit I’ll reserve my opinions until we get into the show itself.

The “Alts”

David “Avocado” Wolfe – the Naturist

David is the author of several books on natural living, as well as a lecturer and a poet. His belief is that man walked with God in Paradise until something terrible happened. This terrible thing, according to David, is that we started cooking our food. In his books and lectures, he stresses that cooking causes cold and flu, cancer, diminished intelligence, depression, aging, and both religion and atheism. On a societal level, cooked food is responsible for pollution, drug and alcohol addiction, cities, ugly art, and government. For the past 10 years his diet has consisted completely of raw foods and dietary supplements.

Don Henrie – the Vampire

There are two types of vampires in the world – “Sanguinary” vampires who live off of and take life energy from blood, and “Psy” vampires who take pranic energy through psychic and/or sexual contact with others. Don professes to practice both forms of vampirism and freely admits that he has received a lot of grief from the vampire community for coming forward into the public light. He doesn’t claim to have ever “adopted” the practice of vampirism because he says it has been a part of him since very early childhood.

Fiona Horne – the Witch

Fiona describes the show as “easily one of the most unexpectedly and profoundly rewarding things I’ve ever done in my life.” While shooting the series, she embraced David’s theories on raw foods and says it has given a new level of potency to her spells and incantations. Originally from Australia, Fiona moved to the United States when her books on witchcraft began to garner a following amongst wiccans in America. She has made numerous appearances and says that the popularity of the Charmed television series has caused a lot of young women to look into the possibility of adding a “bit of magic” to their everyday lives. She has taken it upon herself to educate them and has written a book about the essentials of being a real teenage witch.

Art Aguirre – the Modern Primitive

Art is a practitioner of many of the Native American “dream quest” and rites of manhood rituals, as well as Eastern spiritual exercises such as yoga and meditation breathing. He is a both a tattoo and body piercing artist and is gradually covering himself in the mystical tattoos of Polynesian tribal tradition.

Iya Ta’Shia – the Voodoo Priestess (Asanti)

Iya is a civil rights activist and very active in attempting to dispel to current stereotypes associated with the practice of Vodun. Far from being the zombie raising, love potion mixing silliness portrayed by Hollywood, Iya says that Vodun is an ancient African spiritual tradition that was kept alive by the slaves who were brought to the United States in the 19th century. The rites of Vodun are designed to purge and cleanse the mind and heart and are very specific in practice, requiring in many cases an Asanti to ensure that no mistakes are made.

The ten “ordinary” folks moving in with the alts range in age from 22 to 50 and come from very diverse backgrounds. They have no idea what’s going to hit them when the show begins. I’ll provide individual information on each of them in the recap of the first episode. The house itself is a five-bedroom, two-story mansion, and each of the bedrooms has been completely redecorated to fit the lifestyle of the alt living within.

I am entering into this with my mind as open as possible, but I’ll also admit at the outset that mixed with my own curiosity about the various lifestyles represented on the show is a bit of personal experience and knowledge of several aspects of the belief systems. If they shot me for being an expert on these varied lifestyles I would die an innocent man, but I do have my opinions and will be making them known if I feel it necessary. I imagine I’ll be getting a lot of mail from people about this show and I’ll share the good, bad, and ugly of that as well. This program should be a lot of fun and provide a lot of laughs. It might just be an entertaining alternative to the weekly “mainstream” American practice of watching a wealthy man with a bad comb-over tell someone, “You’re fired!” With that in mind, Thursday evening I will be entering the Mad Mad House. Care to join me?

Bruce Barker is the co-owner of Movie Boss – a free online game. He has also been writing about the entertainment industry for over 10 years with articles appearing in numerous publications including Box Office Magazine. You can contact him at bbarker57@yahoo.com.

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