Playing it Straight, Episode 1: The Saddle isn’t Blazing, Just Sizzling

Ever since the Super Bowl we have been entering a period in the media where broadcasters are terrified at even the thought of a profane word or random body part finding its way onscreen. As a result I was expecting some sort of warning at the start of this show and I wasn’t wrong:

The male contestants in this program may be lying or misrepresenting themselves at all times, including their interviews.

The series opens with an explanation. If you missed my preview article, here’s the uhm… straight story about the show. Jackie is a smalltown girl from Wisconsin. She will be looking for her true love and be choosing from a pool of 14 eligible bachelors. Unbeknownst to her, and us as well as it turns out, some unrevealed number of the men are gay. If she picks a straight man at the end of the series they will split a million dollars. If she should happen to pick a gay man who is “playing it straight,” the man receives the entire million and she goes home with a broken heart and an empty purse. In the opening moments we are shown some clips of upcoming moments in the series to whet our appetites. This is followed up by a rather tongue in cheek theme song that isn’t likely to wind up as instantly memorable as say, the theme from Gilligan’s Island:

Featured in this opening sequence are numerous shots of the men square dancing with one another, bull riding, and one brief clip of the show’s mascot – a dog named “Gaydar.” Now, I freely admit to being eager to have the opportunity to examine a lifestyle that is alien and more than a little strange and mysterious to me. It isn’t often that a person in my position gets the chance to peek into the closet of the “other side” and my small voyeuristic streak is definitely aroused. I mean, for a Cherokee Indian to be able to secretly spy on cowboys! It turns out that the series is filmed at Sizzlin’ Saddles, a Western dude ranch and the entire show will have a rough and tumble cowboy theme.

The 14 men gather in the lobby of the ranch and are greeted by hostess Daphne Brogdon. She is yet another pleasant surprise because she is neither a toothpick-thin waif of a model nor does she speak with a ridiculous accent as has been the trend in recent reality shows. She reveals the main twist of the show to them and assures them that even she doesn’t know who is gay or how many gay men are secretly sitting in the room. She also admonishes them that even Jackie has no idea about the twist and that for now at least, it must remain their secret. As the men look at each other with expressions of undisguised mistrust, the scene jumps to Wisconsin where we meet Jackie.

She considers herself to be a down to earth, church-going kind of woman who does like to have fun. In her interview clip she is sitting slouched and comfortable and wearing very little makeup. In fact, she seems like a typical midwestern girl – comfortable and attractive in a pair of jeans and a pink sweater. She has what men tend to call a “fresh scrubbed natural look” about her. She’s a far cry from the porcelain-skinned glamour girls that tend to populate reality dating shows. Even her attitude is fresh. “If I meet Mr. Right then that’s fantastic,” she says while appearing to be the slightest bit concerned or nervous about it all.

Back at the ranch, the men – some of whom are finally introduced to us by name – share their first thoughts about knowing that there are men in their midst that may be more interested in them than the beautiful woman they will soon meet. They don’t seem very pleased and some of them have already begun worrying:

“If people are openly gay, fine. We’re straight. How do they know how we feel about it? They dropped a bombshell on us.”

“The meat is whether or not that’s worth a million bucks.”

Gust, a real estate agent says, “My worst nightmare has come true. Definitely not what I wanted to hear.”

John, who works as a bartender, is already a little “itchy” about it all. “Having gay men around me… you don’t know if someone’s watching or if someone’s not. It freaks you out a little bit.”

In another clip from her hometown interview, Jackie tells us that she tends to be very gullible. “Sometimes I’ve made bad judgments in someone’s character,” she begins, “if someone tells me something I expect it to be the truth.” Considering the maelstrom she’s about to get thrown into, I can’t help but wonder what long term effects the relationships she is about to develop are going to have on her naïveté.