High School Reunion 2, Episode 1: How Many Blondes Can Fit into an Expedition?

Before we begin this second edition of High School Reunion, I have to say that this whole premise begs one question: "Who would want to go back to high school?” Sure, I'd love to go back to the carefree days of zero responsibility, but would I want to relive the drama of interpersonal relationships that occur during those years. NO!

Apparently the producers of this show have rounded up a group of people who are either gluttons for punishment, or eager to earn the 15 minutes of fame bestowed on the ever-growing list of reality TV participants. But, let’s remember, this is not strangers being thrown together to learn to co-exist. Everyone comes with and ax to grind, a score to settle, or revenge to dish out. With that said, let's begin, shall we.

Members of the Class of 1993 of Round Rock High School (located just outside of Austin, Texas) are arriving for a two-week reunion in Hawaii. They are unaware who else will be attending, and arrive one-by-one.

LouAnn, the homecoming queen. She's been under-billed, apparently she was also prom queen, head cheerleader, and dated the quarterback of the football team. OK, she's the one they all hated. She says high school was a "golden era" for her. Well, of course it was. I'm having flashbacks, we all had a LouAnn. Everyone take a moment and that name will pop right into your head. "Carrie" – that was the LouAnn in my school. See how easy that was? Let's move on.

Laura, the drama queen. Laura says she liked being friends with the popular girls and if you were not in that group, then she didn't talk to you. She went a step further by saying that she went out of her way to be mean to you. But, she has changed. Why don't I believe her?

T.J., the redneck. He wants to prove that he's not as closed-minded as he was in high school. He says he's "evolved." Wow, how much evolution did he need in ten years, was he not walking upright yet? Did he live in a cave?

LouAnn and Laura immediately criticize his jeans and belt buckle. This is fun already.

Jeralyn, the wallflower. She says she was the square peg in a round hole. She wants to finally put a happy ending on her high school experience. Well, I would be hopeful for Jeralyn, if I hadn't met LouAnn Homecoming and Laura Drama. I have a feeling she's still gonna feel square around those two. Oops, I was right. Laura claims to have not been nice to Jeralyn Wallflower, having put marshmallows and mustard in her underwear. Eew! With that, Laura Drama hugs the wallflower and then says that she never remembers seeing her when they were seniors. Yes, Laura, you are showing everyone how much you have changed in 10 years – it’s an unbelievable metamorphosis!

Tre, the player. He's not here to get a girlfriend. Laura says he's here to get laid – only time will tell.

Jessica, the teen mom. By the time she was a senior she had a child who was a year old, and had been married and divorced. She wants to show everyone that she did not end up as a statistic – that she had not fallen by the wayside.

Lenny, the geek. He says high school was painful for him, nobody talked to him at school or at home. He was a goofy kid who never belonged. He wants to gain acceptance from the people who shunned him in high school. He's in the wrong place. I can't really put my finger on it, but he just doesn't fit in. Besides that – he scares me.

Chris, the class clown. He arrives wearing a mullet wig. They think he's a woman at first, but then the wig is peeled off and his identity is reveal. They all laugh. Thank God! Something had to happen to break the tension!

Daniel, the gay guy. He is coming to this reunion as a proud, openly gay man. He's also wearing Barbara Eden's pants from "I Dream of Jeannie." Well, it looks like them, except he has a blue bikini bottom under them. I've got to award him with the "best entrance" award. Go Daniel!

Oh, T.J. Redneck, the one who is here to prove that he is not closed-minded anymore, calls Daniel horrendous and says he is irritated by open homosexuality. We then see Daniel holding a pretty pink parasol.

Note: in case you didn’t notice already, to keep all these people straight, I'm putting together their first name and making their moniker their last name (i.e. Daniel Gay, T.J. Redneck, Lenny Geek, etc.).

Heather C., the ugly duckling. Nobody wanted to date her in high school. We get the feeling that this has changed when she walks in and the guys exclaim "Damn!"

Denise, the ex. She married Gabe when they were very young and had two children. Six years after being married, they were divorced. She wants to live happily ever after with Gabe and the kids. Denise Ex, LouAnn Homecoming, and Laura Drama all squeal and hug.

Gabe, the jock. (Denise's Ex) He wants to party and cut loose. I have a feeling that the Gabe and Denise show is about to begin. He hugs everyone except her!

All have arrived (for now), and Laura says she'll just fake being nice to everyone instead of being rude.

They all move into a Hawaiian mansion, called the "reunion estate," and find their rooms. Their high school picture is posted above the bed, so they can find their room easily. As expected, Denise Ex, LouAnn Homecoming, and Laura Drama share a room. But Tre Player and Gabe Jock are rooming with Lenny Geek. Tre and Gabe do a cool raccoon handshake, while the geek wanders aimlessly around the room.