High School Reunion 2, Episode 2: Keep Your Enemies Close

On Day 2 the whole group is still fretting about the arrival of the sophomore girls who have admitted to being there just to stir up trouble for Gabe and Denise. As it turns out, Heather was dating Gabe while he was also dating Denise (and he was also apparently dating Stacy).

So while the Denise / Gabe / Heather/ Stacy “love square” is being debated at the reunion estate, Denise and Gabe are on their anniversary hall pass at a beautiful home on the beach, complete with a string quartet. But there is a bit of a problem. Denise came to the reunion to win Gabe back and Gabe states emphatically that he DID NOT come here to reunite with Denise. He wants to hang out. He says he knows that she’s putting herself out there and that the mood is perfect, but he doesn’t want to get “caught up in the moment.” OOOH. Sucks for Denise. Poor fool. But they head out to the beach where he’s going to let her down easy. But Gabe, never one to pass up a sure thing, decides that he wants “the moment,” but not to have to think any further. So, they go upstairs and spend the night at the house. I’ll have to admit, I’d have a whole lot more respect for Gabe if he would have said: “This can go no further than just dinner tonight, I’m not ready to reunite.” I'll have to admit, I TOTALLY thought they had sex, but I talked to other viewers who thought maybe they didn't – so that point is still up for debate… for now.

But back at the Estate, nobody can find anything to talk about, other than the “love square.” Louann is trying to get Heather to back off of Denise and Gabe. When she feels she’s not reaching Heather, she drops the bomb. “Gabe didn’t care about you.” He apparently does care for the girl he just (possibly) banged at the beach villa, but doesn’t want to reunite with.

But Heather is adamant about having a score to settle with Denise, who, Heather alleges, faked either a pregnancy or a miscarriage to trap Gabe into marriage. I’m confused – but don’t really care. However, Denise apparently threatened Heather’s life. You see, Denise knows a Gang – apparently a family gang down Austin way. Yep – Heather can’t wait to confront them both when they return. It should be explosive.

But in the meantime. We get about 20 seconds worth of screen time for Daniel the gay guy – who talks about coming out to his parents – and Chris the Clown, TJ, and Jeralyn the Wallflower. But, then, it’s back to the Denise/Gabe/Heather/Stacy show. Hey, did Lenny the Geek go home?

Louann, still trying to get Heather to stop her anti-Denise/Gabe crusade, decides to rip Heather a new one. After which, Heather moans: “It’s high school all over again!” Well, Heather, what do you think they got you here for? Duh.

Daniel the gay guy describes a “palpable feeling of tension” as they wait for the return of Gabe and Denise. Gabe states, as they get into the SUV to return to the reunion estate, that he can relax after the hall pass. If they had sex, it was apparently very good, and plentiful. Gabe’s relaxed. I’m so happy for him.

I actually perked up at this point, ready for the explosive arrival of Denise and Gabe. Boy, was I disappointed, I actually switched over to ENCORE to watch a few minutes of Sling Blade. I sure hope Billy Bob Thornton won an Academy Award for that. But, Damn, I’ve got to switch back to High School Reunion now.

When they arrive, Denise isn’t happy about the sophomore vixens being there, but she is squired away immediately by Louann, who can fill her in on what the trio is up to and start to formulate a counter-attack. As Gabe bypasses the newcomers with barely a “hello,” he heads to the showers.

Denise says the ex-girlfriends don’t phase her one bit, she’s on a different level then they are. After all, he married her and had two children with her and just (possibly) banged her to the tune of a string quartet, so she’s golden. Denise decides to kill Heather with kindness (instead of using the family gang to do the deed), and proceeds to the kitchen to make small talk with Heather about the protein shake she’s blending up and tell her how great she looks, and to mention the great sex she had with Gabe the previous night. OK, she didn’t mention the last thing, but I’m sure she will sooner or later, so I just wrote it now – consider it foreshadowing.

Heather musters up a sweet smile and then tells the camera that she wanted to slap Denise or rip her face off or something of that nature. But she decides to adhere to the old adage: keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer. Looks like Heather and Denise will be joined at the hip for the remainder of this reunion. Maybe they can do a threesome with Gabe and call it a truce! He’d enjoy that!

On cue, they all gather outside to await the arrival of the new guy. Hey, even Lenny the geek is there! The new arrival is Trevor the pipsqueak – who has blossomed into a hottie thanks to a bottle of Clairol #5 developer. But why did he arrive so late? Did he miss a connecting flight or something? As a viewer, there was absolutely no suspense building up for me when that door flung open and a new person stepped out. I mean, I don’t know any of the Rolling Rock people anyway. I don’t even know where Rolling Rock is. I don’t get the timing of the arrival here, but, he arrived, and all the girls are salivating and wishing they could remember who the hell he is.

Johnny Quarterback has a hall pass and plans to take another run at Louann, his first love. He has completely fallen in love with her (again) by Day 2. Wow! He didn’t even seem to spend too much time with her because she was ripping Heather a new one and trying to protect Denise from the claws of the sophomore cats. When did she have time for Johnny? Well, she will now as they go on a romantic dinner again. He says he respects the fact that she has a boyfriend in Dallas – but he’s going to try to steal her from him. OK, Johnny, then that means you DON’T respect the fact that she has a boyfriend in Dallas. Let’s be honest here, Johnny.

Gabe visits Heather in the middle of the night, but for the life of me, I can’t figure out what the hell they were saying. Really. We were promised this late-night rendezvous throughout the whole show, but NOTHING happened.

As a matter of fact, I have a feeling this show is all-tease and no action. So far, that’s the way it’s playing out. Next week Trevor the pipsqueak and Amanda the sophomore are going to hook up, Johnny is going to respect Louann’s boyfriend a little more as he cuddles with Louann on the couch, and Denise is going to cry. Wow. Can’t wait for that! I’ll have to check the listing, maybe Sling Blade will be on again.

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