Mad Mad House, Episode 3: The Devil and the Piggly Wiggly

When Mad Mad House premiered three weeks ago, some thought it would be a great social experiment that would teach us all lessons about tolerance and understanding while others thought it would be little more than a showcase for people who are trying to make a quick buck by living “outside the mainstream.” This week the show manages to head in both directions at once and show us both great insight and broad absurdity.

We begin, as usual, where we left off last week. Once again we see the events that led to Kelly’s elimination, along with a few new perspectives. Jamie assures us that everyone is glad about the way the voting went. The guests gather in the house and Jamie is very vocal about her opinion of Kelly’s behavior at being eliminated. “I’m sorry,” she tells the group, “but she was really disrespectful at the end.” In the other room the alts have gathered to discuss their feelings about it as well. Art, the Modern Primitive, was the one who cast the deciding vote and is still somewhat surprised at her reaction. “Did you see the look she gave me?” he asks Don the Vampire, “She looked like she wanted to kill me!” Fiona, the house Witch, agrees saying that if there had been a knife present that Kelly would have picked it up and stuck it into him. “Or into herself,” adds Art.

In the living room, attention turns to Nichole when she answers a question many viewers have asked, saying, “Just so you know, the things said in the deliberation room are not confidential.” Everyone else perks up and Bonnie asks if there was anything said while Nichole was present that the group should know about. If there is one thing the veteran viewers of reality show knows, it’s that information is power. By dropping this little bombshell into the room, Nichole now has the opportunity to turn things greatly to her advantage. Will she play it straight and tell each of them what concerns the Alts have? Maybe she will deliberately give them false information – for example telling someone that the Alts are pleased with that they need to change their behavior and thus causing the person to make a fool of themselves. If it were I, I’d likely call the Alts’ favorite aside privately and form a coalition to further stir up problems for the other contestants. Nichole however, chooses to address the group as a whole; “You’re gonna need to shed your inhibitions if you want to stay here.” Loana, who along with Brent have chosen to sit out several of the rituals and contests because of their religious beliefs, becomes a little paranoid that Nichole was speaking specifically to her. In interview, Brent tells us that he and Loana are the black sheep of the house because they sit on the sidelines and are always engaged in some form of debate about the goings on. Eric sagely predicts that unless the pair change their ways neither of them will still be in the house in two weeks. He then asks them why they bowed out of Fiona’s cleansing ceremony. Loana says that she didn’t know enough about what was going to happen to be able to participate. While that may come across as a copout, she does have a point. It appears that the guests are quite often asked to participate in a ritual without knowing exactly what is about to happen. In this particular case, the guests came into the courtyard to see Fiona standing in front of an altar wielding a very large ceremonial sword and weren’t given very much information as to what would transpire once the ritual began. For a devout Christian, the imagery, along with the various rumors circulated regarding the practice of witchcraft, would create an immediate crisis of faith. Brent gets even more specific, telling the group, “I’ll entertain trying some yoga and things like that, but I’m not comfortable testing my God that way.”

At this point the Alts come in and join the guests and the dialogue continues. Loana openly admits that if the point of all of this is “transformation” then she is destined to lose. Avocado, the naturist, is clear on what he wants. “I’m looking for someone to go to the depth of their soul,” he tells her, “and walk out of here totally different.” In interview she says that it’s all about bending your beliefs just to please the Alts and that she doesn’t feel she needs to be doing that. Voodoo Priestess Ta’Shia urges her to be open to the experience.

Although we are only shown short bits of what was apparently a lengthy discussion, it seems clear that everyone was talking but nobody bothered to listen. The Alts don’t appear to have any understanding that the lifestyles they represent are in some cases the polar opposite of the beliefs of a practicing Christian and that engaging in things such as “witchcraft” and “voodoo” is expressly forbidden. Whether intentional or not, they are coming across as if they are looking at this time on the show more as an opportunity to convert people to their beliefs than as a chance to expand horizons of understanding and unity.

Also, Loana appears to be trying so hard to be nice that she does a very poor job (at least in the clips we are shown) explaining how uncomfortable the idea of compromising her religious beliefs for something as paltry as a cash prize makes her. The easy compromise would be for the Alts to allow a contestant to bow out of a contest or ceremony during the event instead of at the beginning, should something occur that makes that contestant fearful or uncomfortable, but that avenue is closed, as we shall soon see.

The discussion continues in Fiona’s room as Loana heads upstairs with her. Fiona tells us that the whole thing was exhausting. She feels that Loana’s “crocodile tears” are little more than a mask to hide a deep intolerance of other peoples’ opinions. She urges Loana to not give up just yet, lest it all just be a waste of everyone’s time. Loana explains to her that she feels she’s learned a lot already during her stay in the house and Fiona responds by saying, “You know what? I don’t care. I don’t care whether you’ve learned a lot. It’s not what we’re talking about.” Loana is nonplussed and in the next clip Fiona asks permission to make a statement and Loana asks her if they could just stop the conversation. “No,” is Fiona’s blunt response. “I don’t mean to sound harsh, but no. You don’t need to be here. You don’t want to be.” Whoa, is this the same woman that just got through telling us that Loana was deeply intolerant? Mr. Kettle, please pick up line one. It’s the pot calling… I can’t help but wonder how Fiona would react if asked to participate in a Southern Baptist Church service. Would she exercise the same measure of tolerance she’s seeking from the guests?

The next morning, Don and Art come to the guests and invite three of them to go with them to the grocery store to purchase supplies. After drawing straws the lucky three are Eric, Brent, and Loana. They jump into a black SUV and Don admonishes everyone to wear a seatbelt for safety. “Even the undead wear seatbelts!” he exclaims with a broad grin on his face, “Buckle up, America!” As they walk into the market Don opens up a large black umbrella to avoid the direct sun. Before I can wonder if sunscreen is on the shopping list, they are inside and surrounded by gawking shoppers. Art looks down the list and wonders if nail polish remover could be hidden amongst the feminine hygiene products. They decide that it isn’t but it would be a great aisle to go down regardless. All around them people are laughing, staring, and pointing. The two Alts ignore much of the attention their appearance is drawing, but the trio of guests can’t help but notice.