“I Really Did Feel Like a Goddess, Dammit!”: An Interview with Bonnie from ‘Mad Mad House’

RNO: First of all, thank you again for taking the time to chat with us. I have quite a few questions, so let’s get started. How were you approached about the show? Did the producers seek you out or did you somehow find out about the program and think it would be interesting?

My involvement was completely accidental. I was looking in the paper for a weekend activity for my family and saw a small ad for auditions for a new reality show that would be a cross between Survivor and Big Brother. I called for my 19-year-old son, who we’d always joked would be great on that kind of show. Turns out the minimum age was 21, but then the casting agent asked if I’d be interested in coming myself, since they were looking for all ages. I was about to celebrate my 50th birthday and figured, what the heck! Other people buy motorcycles when they turn 50; I’ll audition for a reality show!

RNO: Did you have an idea when you showed up for the taping that the Alts would be involved?

The only hint was in the handbook they gave us before we entered. There was a picture of a haunted house on the front, and the description of the game mentioned five hosts who would be deciding our fate.

RNO: Now that the episodes are airing, are you surprised at the amount of respect and love both the guests and the Alts developed for you in such a brief time?

What a nice question! I knew I felt loved in the house, but during the actual experience you’re second-guessing everything you do, questioning everything you see, wondering if what people express to you is absolutely true. So to find out that all those emotions were real touched me more than I can say. And what affected me just as much, or more, were all the e-mails that poured in after I was eliminated. I had no idea that what was being shown about me on TV was affecting people the way it did, especially since I wasn’t shown nearly as much as many of the other guests.

RNO: Fiona in particular has stated many times that the manner in which the show is edited often presents things in a radically different way than they actually happened. Do you feel that the editing is making certain people appear to be different than they really are or that some events are underplayed or blown out of proportion?

There certainly is creative editing going on. Tim, for example, had a genuinely sweet side that was never really shown. Iya Ta’shia was a much more powerful presence in the House than I think has been displayed so far, and Fiona is much more playful and fun loving than she appears. Brent was portrayed as much more conservative than he was, and Eric and Noel much more manipulative than they were. Nichole, though it hasn’t yet been shown, is an extremely talented and intelligent woman. And Jamie and Loana are sweethearts. Kelly, though... that was Kelly.

As for me, I wasn’t quite as reserved as I was portrayed. For example, I DID participate in the first voodoo ceremony – my initial hesitation had to do with the fact that Iya asked us to kneel in front of a wooden statue, something my Jewish tradition would not allow me to do. And although I didn’t play the nudist “match” game, I did indeed lie out next to Avo and Art when they were sunbathing nude – though I was in my suit, of course! I think the producers just wanted to emphasize my growth in the House, do they didn’t want to show too much too soon.

RNO: For you, what was the most significant event during your stay in the house?

There were several, actually. First, Iya did major therapy on me, forcing me to rethink what I wanted out of life. Thanks to her, I’ve gone back to trying to get a fantasy novel of mine published, and looking for ways not to be so damn responsible all the time! Also, during the goddess ceremony, Fiona had the other women honor me as “Great Goddess and Wise Crone,” celebrating my age and experience. That was the first time I felt GREAT about being 50, and all those good feelings burst out in the voodoo trial, when I won. At that point, I really did feel like a goddess, dammit!!

RNO: Did you understand the significance of such titles at the time and did it renew your sense of empowerment?

Fiona explained that there are three stages of womanhood – maiden, mother, Crone. She also told me that in older traditions, the Crone is the wise woman, the woman of experience, and the woman whom others respect and learn from. So I was very touched when she asked if they could honor me as the wise Crone in the goddess ceremony. And yes, it renewed my sense of empowerment – big time. I think it’s why I was able to win the voodoo trial that same evening.

RNO: In your exit interview you mentioned that you would continue to pursue your transformation and grow. Have you and what things are you doing to continue that process?

My experience in the House has indeed had a lasting impact on me. Thanks to all of the love I received from both my House-mates and the viewers, I feel better about myself than I have in years – happy with my age, content with who I am, proud of how I act. And as I said before, I’ve returned to my writing, and I let myself dream a little more. I’m also finding I have a different view of religion and spirituality. Though I’m still devoted to my Judaism, I suppose I’m feeling now that while Judaism is the foundation of my beliefs, I can – and should – draw from the beliefs of others, as well.