Forever Eden, April 9: What’s Up With Wallace?

OK, I was wrong. Fox didn’t cancel the show this week. But, I was right about the ratings. The number of viewers for last Friday’s episode dropped from the previous week’s season low of 3.8 million to a new low of 3.3 million.

Anyway, enough about that, let’s look at the recap from last week. You can read my article about it or I can just give you the short version: Simon is Chris … sexual ambiguity … Jordan returns … Michael deals for banishment … is banished … breaks deal … Kassie richest.

We start off the new episode right after Michael’s banishment. As you may recall, Kassie and Michael were very good friends and even shared an evening together in bed. Kassie said, in the last episode, that she’d leave if Michael were banished. Kassie is now heartbroken that Michael is gone. Matt approaches her and gives her a big hug. Matt comes around to give Kassie a shoulder rub, while talking about what a great guy Michael was. Kassie is melting. We should see a caption under their names that says, “Matt senses that Kassie is vulnerable and goes in for the kill.”

Meanwhile, David, of the couple “Liz and David,” has heard rumors that several of the women are trying to get him banished. He pulls each of the women aside and assures them that he is not Liz’s puppet and will be making his own decisions. This doesn’t seem to have much of an effect on the women, who probably figure that Liz put him up to that.

Back in the billiard room, Jason and Neveen are spraying each other with the old fire hose of insults. Jason seems to be having fun with this, but we see Neveen’s private confession and we find out that she’s one very bitter woman. But then, this should be nothing new to us, since we’ve seen that she hates all the other women and last week we saw that she hates Chris.

Two hours later, the bickering is still going on between them and we hear the guests opine that maybe the two of them are developing some kind of sexual tension from all their fighting. Privately, Jason agrees. Privately, Neveen is still spewing venom. It doesn’t look like love (or, at least, lust) will bloom from this relationship after all.

After those scenes wind down, the guests pair off and have their own private conversations about the people in Eden. Brooke and Wallace think that Jason is an idiot and they stick up for Neveen. David and Liz laugh about how broken up Kassie was over Michael’s banishment.

Matt asks Kassie if she finds him attractive. In a slip of the tongue, she answers, “So?” as if he had stated to her, “You find me attractive.” Matt has his foot in the door and weasels his way into a little kissy time with Kassie. Hmm. I guess Kassie’s not as broken up over Michael as she says she is.

Then we see a bit of montage of the guests talking about how hot the other guests are. Brooke tells Kassie that Wallace is hot. Kassie tells Brooke that Matt is hot. Chris tells Kassie that Wallace is hot.

And then it is night time and the guests are ready to dance and party. Someone may have told Wallace about Chris’s attraction to him, because he goes right up to Chris and starts doing the bump and grind with him. Matt, always looking for a good time, joins in. The girls just can’t believe that the men are dancing with each other, especially with what they think they know about Chris. Everybody ends being pushed or jumping into the pool.

Most of them dry off and meet back at the bar for a nightcap. Both Wallace and Chris arrive in their Forever Eden bathrobes. After downing their drinks, there’s a bunch of hugging and butt slapping, and then Chris goes off to bed. Kassie then points out to Wallace that Chris has a crush on him. Wallace looks completely oblivious. He had no idea. The women giggle and Wallace tells them that this is not funny at all. Wallace remains upset.

Wallace tells the camera that there is no way that he’s attracted to Chris and that’s just not the way things are. In order to prove his manly manliness, he rushes off to Brooke’s cabin for a make-out session or maybe more. Afterwards, he tells Brooke that they should tell the guests that they just had a make-out session. He feels better about himself. Yet, he tells the camera that Brooke is just a scapegoat. I have no idea what that means in this context.

And then we see Jordan for the first time. He complains that he has no one to hook up with or hang out with, since David and Liz are a couple, Matt and Kassie are a couple, and Wallace and Brooke are a couple. I guess he forgot about Neveen, Chris, Claudia, and Jason. Then, we see Neveen complain about being alone. Then, we see Claudia reading her Bible, alone. She says that the things she’s seeing in this game don’t sit well with her morals.

The next morning, during a boys-versus-girls volleyball game, we hear Neveen let loose with a constant stream of “You Suck!” and other caustic comments. She’s the only one doing that. The others are cheering for their own side. Matt says, to the camera, that Neveen is a constant source of annoyance and that he’s got to find a way to get rid of her. He later talks to Kassie and tells her what he thinks of Neveen. Kassie is caught between a rock and a hard place, since she likes Neveen and is her roommate.

Later that evening, Chris and Brooke line up for a game of billiards. Chris tells her that it’s time for girlfriend talk. He asks how “Cuddle Time” went last night. She gives him a cold stare and innocently says, “With who?” Chris says to not play him for an idiot and then presses for more information; who was the aggressor, was is just a need for physical contact, and so on. Brooke thinks the questions are inappropriate and gives vague answers. Wallace is eavesdropping and approves of the way Brooke is handling the discussion. Later, at dinner, Wallace and Brooke continue to stick to their cover story, despite the guests constantly prying for details.

After dinner, Wallace takes Chris aside and tells him that he’s flattered by Chris’ attraction to him, but says that it just isn’t his thing. They walk away from each other with some kind of understanding.

After a nightcap or two, the guests begin deciding who will sleep with whom that night. Kassie invites Matt to sleep over, but has to kick out Neveen for some privacy. Neveen is not thrilled, but goes off to see about bunking with Claudia. Brooke figures Wallace should spend another night with her and begins shouting for him. After a bit, she finds him and tells him he can come on over and spend the night. He says “Okay,” but then, under his breath says, “Not a chance.” In a private confession, Wallace says that his thing with Brooke was just supposed to be a cover, but now it’s getting out of hand.

Hmm. Maybe Chris has a shot at him after all.