Who Wants to Marry My Dad 2, Episode 4: Wedding Gown Blues

No time to waste… we begin Episode Four by reliving last week’s visit from The Stranger. At 10 pm on Friday night, a man comes to the door of the Okland’s rented palatial digs, and not only claims he’s a Justice of the Peace, but come hell or high water, this series is going to end with a wedding.

Everyone is stunned. Daughters Nicole, Jennifer, and Brooke quickly chirp their goodnights, and plant themselves in front of their closed circuit TV, the better to gage everyone’s reactions. Needless to say, “shock” is the prevalent emotion. Gathered in their dorm room, the five remaining women (Marilyn, Suzanne, Stacy, Nicole, and Melanie) discuss seriously what this means for them. Melanie tries to put everything in a positive light by saying, “Well, I’ve gotten married in less than three weeks before.”

I’m not sure about the direction of this spin. We probably can assume that her last “three week engagement” didn’t turn out so well, because she’s here on the show trying to land another husband. Then again, if the former Mr. Melanie died a tragic death, I’m going to feel like a real jerk. Apologies in advance.

Nicole (the contestant) says she feels she made “a real connection” with Marty. Suzanne tries to allay everyone’s fears of a shotgun marriage by enumerating Marty’s finer qualities: “Well, we know he’s a good man… he’s responsible… he’s well-off enough to finance his daughters’ educations… we can hope he’ll be sexually compatible…”

Nicole sums up by saying, “We should all consider ourselves engaged.” The others nod in sober agreement.

Saturday, 9:00 a.m.: Everyone gathers around the table for breakfast, and Brooke spills the beans: The visit from the Justice of the Peace was a hoax, and there will be no forced wedding. The girls just wanted to see if anyone would bolt in the night when faced with an imminent marriage to their dad. And no one did.

As a reward, all the women will be taken to shop for their ideal wedding dress. Meanwhile, Marty will be sent out to find a tux. When everyone returns home, photos will be taken of Marty with each of his potential brides. The women squeal in delight. Oooh, wedding dress shopping! How romantic!

This is as good a spot as any to say that when Mr. S. and I visited Executive Producer Scott Satin last month at Nash Entertainment in Los Angeles, we were treated to several scenes from this episode. I mention this because Mr. S, knowing what’s to come, is now waving his hands while shouting, “Noooo! It’s a trap!” and other pointless warnings at the TV.

But the women, excited to get their dresses, pay no heed to Mr. S. They will be sorry.

Everyone piles into the Marry My Dad SUV limo and takes a ride to the bridal shop. It’s giggles, ooohs, and ahhhs galore: the ladies pick out dresses, and try them on. They all end up with distinctive and lovely gowns. (However, Melanie’s is a tad low-cut for my taste. I’m no fashion maven, but it’s really kind of ticky-tacky.)

Anyway, the women, looking gorgeous in their wedding dresses and veils, pile back into the limo to head home to Marty and photos. But wait!

“Arrrrgh!” says Mr. S.

Who’s that following the limo? Why, it’s a motorcycle cop! “Is that Marty?” Suzanne asks, somewhat amused and clearly getting the hang of Producer Scott Satin’s sense of the absurd. But no, it’s not Marty. It’s a cop.

For real? For real.

He makes the limo pull over. Walking up to the limo, the cop peers inside and says, “There’s too many passengers for this vehicle.” Then he hands the daughters a “ticket” which reads, “You have fifteen minutes to eliminate one passenger, right here and right now. She will not be returning home with you.”

Marilyn tells us, “Eliminated while wearing your dream wedding gown? This is a nightmare!”

“I told you so!” says Mr. S.

Everyone gets out of the car. The women congregate around the vehicle, as if they are afraid to wander off too far. The daughters move a bit away from them as they confer. The ladies look terrified as the wind blows around their dream dresses and veils. Dust is now an issue.

Eventually, the girls rejoin them and apologize for what they are about to do. Each woman tells the camera that she is certain she’s the one to go. “Marilyn,” the girls say, inserting a dramatic pause, “… please get back in the car.”

Relieved, Marilyn gets in, and closes the door behind her. “Suzanne, please get back in the car. Stacy... please get back in the car.”

Only Nicole and Melanie are left. They hold hands, awaiting the announcement like the last two contestants at the Miss America pageant. The girls then drop the bomb: “Nicole… we’re sorry, you will not be coming home with us.”

And so, Melanie gets in the limo, and it pulls away, leaving Nicole, in her perfect wedding gown, all alone. The background song poses a question: “When does the dream end?” The answer is: Right now.

The camera pulls back, and we see the spot where the producers have chosen to strand Nicole, the would-be bride... on the steps of a church! Rubbing salt into the wound, a taxi drives up, and Nicole gets in. She tells the camera, “I took a shot at love.” As the cab pulls away, we see a sign on the back that reads, “Just Eliminated.”