Big Brother 5, July 20: “My Name Is Scott, and I’m a Moron”

On Saturday’s episode, Marvin made his nominations: Lori and Holly. But before the vote on Thursday’s episode, there is the little matter of the Veto. Veto power has not been used much, but as we saw last week, Big Brother producers made it’s utilization more likely by limiting the number of people who can play to six: the HOH, both nominees, and one player of each of their choosing. Presuming each nominee chooses somebody who would take them off the block (or else why would they choose them? Well, other than Mike, who chose Holly last week just so she’d lose), that gives a 67% chance that the Veto will be used each time. It didn’t happen last week; will it this week? Let’s find out!

But first, we need to start where we left off Saturday – immediately following the nominations. Lori says she thinks she was nominated at least in part because she took the $10,000 on Day 1. No? Ya think.

But that isn’t the only reason. Jase says that Lori is a gamer and she has a good group of allies. In other words, he knows a dangerous enemy when he sees one. After all, that’s why he got rid of Mike last week.

But that good group of allies is already at work to counter Jase’s plan. Diane says the plan is obviously to get rid of Holly, and Will is talking about the votes he thinks he can pull together to make that happen.

Holly is sad. She knows something is going on to try to sway votes against her – including Nokomis. Big half-brother Michael says confidently that it won’t happen. He tells her not to worry. But then he turns around and tells a couple of the Four Horse’s Asses that he thinks Holly will be the one to go! Scott tells him that he has to “control” his sister. Ah, yes. The sister he’s known for all of the same length of time that everybody else in the house has known each other. Moron.

Then again, maybe it’s not so tough. Nokomis pulls Michael aside and asks who she will be voting against. He, of course, tells her to help take Lori out, and she seems okay with that. Well, until she gets to the diary room. There she tells us that it was one of these cases where they want to control her vote but not tell her all of what’s going on – and she doesn’t fly with that. Um. Then why did she ask him who to vote for?

Will and Karen create Operation Security Blanket (hey, it’s at least as clever as any name the producers would come up with). The idea is that they will say they’re going to unanimously vote out Lori, but then surprise them and vote out Holly instead. To top it off, they will then insist that one of them voted against Lori, meaning that the Four Horse’s Asses will turn on each other to figure out who voted against Holly. Normally, I’d think this is a pretty stupid plan, because if the four are in a solid alliance, why would they believe somebody outside the alliance who has good reason to lie, rather than one of their own? However, because Holly has been causing a bit of a breach in the alliance, it’s just possible that Jase might think one of the others (most likely Scott) did, in fact, help vote out Holly.

Time for the requisite love story portion of the show. Tonight it’s not Holly and Jase or Scott and himself, but Diane and Drew. We see Drew at the punching bag and Diane watching, talking about how Drew was sent from Heaven. She tells us that she has never seen such a beautiful man.

And he’s not just hot, but he reads the Bible too. It seems most of the women (and Will) think he’s the best thing since sliced bread. They’ll keep him ‘til last.

With that over, it’s time to get back to the game. Several people are talking and Diane is claiming she doesn’t care who goes. But then, as she later recaps in the diary room, “in walks meathead Scott” who “has to be the center of attention” at all times. He tells her that she has as much power as Saddam Hussein had over his own people, which is nothing. OK, let’s forget about the fact that it’s rude and just focus on that. If Saddam Hussein had no power over his own people, why didn’t they overthrow him? Why did they need the U.S. to come in and take him out? Why? Because he did have power over his own people. He murdered quite a few of them. And I’m pretty sure Diane is thinking about how she would do that to Scott right about now. So he’s a moron. But then he keeps going and tells her to “be quiet.” What an ass.

In the diary room, he expounds that Diane “has to shake stuff up” and he doesn’t like her. Yeah, well, I’m betting the feeling is mutual. And if message boards are any indication, there are a hell of a lot more viewers who like Diane than there are who like Moron. In fact, just as Jennifer has chosen “Nokomis” as her name, I will hereby choose “Moron” as Scott’s for the remainder of this recap (at least). Why? Because it fits.

Back to the story – Diane tells Moron that they were having an intellectual conversation before he walked in, and he interrupts to say if they were having an intellectual conversation, what was she doing there? Wow, if that isn’t the pot calling the kettle black (no, Omarosa, that’s still not a racist phrase).