The Amazing Race 5, Episode 4: Caviar – the Breakfast of Champions

Previously on The Amazing Race, nine teams scurried around South America all while forming alliances and breaking them at the drop of a hat. Charla & Mirna formed a feud with brothers, Marshall & Lance. Father and daughter, Jim & Marsha got stuck at the airport when they couldn’t book a flight. At the Detour, teams got a chance to do some paragliding, and in the end, it was Jim & Marsha, because of not being able to book an early flight, who ended up being eliminated. Eight teams remain in this race around the world. Let me reintroduce you to the teams that remain, in the order they will leave the Pit Stop:

• Colin & Christie: Dating/Might get engaged/Sentimental Favorites
• Mirna & Charla: Cousins/Sentimental Favorites
• Brandon & Nicole (team “Hypocrites”): Models/Long-distance couple/Eucharistic Ministers
• Bob & Joyce (team “Cyber Love”):Internet dating couple
• Karli & Kami: Twins/That’s all I got
• Linda & Karen: Moms/Bowling partners/No longer on my nerves
• Chip & Kim: Married Parents/Always do poorly
• Marshall & Lance: Brothers/Jerks

We begin at the last Pit Stop. Teams are resting, eating, and sleeping as they prepare for the next leg of the race. Will Chip & Kim continue to lag at the end of the pack, as they have been for the past three legs? Will the Hypocrites, Brandon & Nicole, continue to make short-term alliances and then ditch them at the first chance they have? I’m willing to bet they will, but let’s see!

Colin & Christie were the first to arrive at the Pit Stop at 3:10 p.m., so they are the first to depart at 3:10 a.m. Their clue tells them to head back to Buenos Aires, then take a plane to St. Petersburg, Russia and find the Battleship Aurora. That’s where they will find their next clue. Christie tells the camera that it’s rough being in first because there is pressure to stay there and in order to do that, she knows their team must make minimal mistakes. Eleven minutes after the first team, cousins Charla & Mirna are off. Mirna says that they had their problems during the last leg, but they are more than ready for this one. Not too far behind, the Hypocrites are leaving at 3:54 a.m. Nicole says that even though they are Christians, they have no problem being ruthless. Thank God their name is team Hypocrite because they just lived up to their name. It’s two minutes into the show and I’ve already rolled my eyes approximately 950 degrees at them already. Anyway, at 4:22 a.m. Cyber Love heads out as well. Joyce says that they have already outlasted some of the more athletic teams, and will work on getting more of the stronger teams out of the race.

The first teams to get to the bus station are Colin & Christie and Charla & Mirna. Both attempt to talk to the same local, who seems to be the only person at the station. This doesn’t go over too well. Colin gets smart with Mirna because he was talking to the local too. Mirna doesn’t plan on budging because she wants the information too. To be fair, since both are Sentimental Favorite teams, Colin WAS talking to guy first. Mirna could have just stood there and listened instead of butting in. Colin says Mirna is the rudest person he’s ever met in his life. Apparently he hasn’t come in contact much with Marshall & Lance.

It’s now 5:04 a.m. and Karli & Kami are off. One of the twins says that they have many strengths and many weaknesses, however, they know how to balance each other out and that’s what they are doing. At 5:15 a.m. the moms leave the Pit Stop. Karen says it’s like they are playing catch up at this point. Listen you two, this is only the first time you two have been at the back of the pack. Chip & Kim are used to it and they aren’t complaining. Wait a minute, yes they are. Okay, complain! Speaking of Kim & Chip, they are leaving the Pit Stop as well, two minutes after the moms. Both say that they are sick of being at the end of the pack, and know they need to run this leg perfectly if they want to be in the lead.

The Hypocrites get to the bus station at the same time Cyber Love does. The twins get there shortly after. The last team to leave the Pit Stop is Marshall & Lance, at 5:34 a.m. Lance notes that the two of them fight all the time outside of the race, and oddly enough, they are agreeing about everything during the race. The brothers quickly get to the bus station, and arrive there at the same time the moms do. Chip & Kim are right behind both of these teams, and it looks like all eight teams are now at the bus station, sitting in a line waiting to buy tickets. Colin, being very smart, starts looking at other bus agencies for another bus. He finds an express bus that leaves later, and gets there the same time as the bus they were going to get with everyone else, since it makes fewer stops. The later bus leaves at noon, while the first bus leaves at 9:30 a.m.

At 7 a.m. all the ticket counters open. Colin & Christie ditch the other teams and go for the express tickets. The cousins see this and follow. Now, everyone sees this and runs for express tickets, with some agreeing to stay in a line, and others trying to jump in front. The Hypocrites demand that they should be third in line since that’s how they left the Pit Stop. Oh God, get over it! Word on the street is that God actually TOLD Brandon & Nicole that they should be third. They were only doing what they were told. Anyway, Mirna & Charla are getting pissed, and Marshall & Lance exchange words with them. During all the hub-bub, Chip bumps his way up in line and Cyber Love exchanges words with him! Wow, who ever knew Bob was so feisty! Everyone starts bickering, and Colin, who is first in line, finds out there are only enough seats on the express bus for four teams, so he books them all. Charla & Mirna are second in line, but Colin doesn’t want to ride with them, so he gives the tickets to the Hypocrites, Chip & Kim, and Marshall & Lance. Ugh, Colin! You gave the tickets to two teams that have complete jerks in them. Chip & Kim? Okay, that’s fine, but not the other two!

At this point, Brandon suggests that the four teams form an alliance and find a travel agent to get them tickets to St. Petersburg. Oh no! That’s like forming a deal with the devil. However, the teams do it, and I don’t feel bad. Marshall & Lance have already been screwed by the Hypocrites so this is on them. The four teams that are on the local bus are pissed and trying to band together. While this goes on, the four teams on the express bus get tickets to Russia early, so they don’t have to wait at the airport. However, they find that one team can go earlier than the other teams, and all four agree it should be Colin & Christie since they helped with bus tickets earlier. Wow, looks like Colin’s strategy is working – help teams in the beginning and they’ll reward you later. The first bus, the local one, heads to Buenos Aires with Cyber Love, the twins, the cousins, and the moms. The second bus, the express one, leaves a few hours later with the remaining four teams.

The local bus gets to Buenos Aires first. All the teams head to the airport, and shortly after, the express bus pulls into the terminal. Brandon thinks that they made a mistake by bonding with the other teams and forming an alliance with them, and decides that team Hypocrite should ditch them and head to the airport on their own to find better plane tickets. There they go – at it again. These two seriously need to take a class in kindness. All this God crap they spew. They have nothing on Chuck & Millie from last year, who actually were somewhat good Christians. I’m willing to bet Brandon & Nicole aren’t even virgins! That’s right, I said it! Anyway the Hypocrites ditch the other three teams and while the others look for the Hypocrites, we see Brandon smile as his team heads to the airport.