The Amazing Race 5, Episode 8: Dollars to Donuts

Sting7 standing in for our own Boy Wonder, Phil Kural, who is about two shots of happy, one shot of smashed as you read this! Just kidding… but probably true. Phil is on a well-deserved vacation. I haven’t been on this beat for awhile, so if I mess some things up, bear with me. Phil will be back next week!

Only five teams of racers to go. Last week, we said goodbye to spunky Charla and nerve-wracking Mirna, and there was much rejoicing. This week, the remaining teams are:

Brandon & Nicole - Dating/Models (and Christian… very, very Christian)

Linda & Karen - Moms/Bowling Partners (cute, eternally optimistic)

Colin & Christie - Dating/Might get engaged (Evil and Co-Dependent)

Chip & Kim - Married parents (LOVE THEM!)

Kami & Karli - Twins (beautiful barracudas - so, so, tense!)

The race begins at Lake Manyara, in Northern Tanzania. Chip and Kim, the first team to arrive at the check point twelve hours ago, leave first at 2:42 PM. Kim reads that they have to take a cab 200 miles to the Kilimanjaro Airport, then take one of three chartered flights to Dubai (8:30 AM; 9:30 AM; 10:30 AM) and find a hotel on the water that is fantastic! They have $200 for this leg of the race.

Chip and Kim get to the cabs and are first told the fare is whopping $150 American, but it quickly drops to $100, and Chip is already making small talk with the cab driver. Kim says she thinks Chip’s friendliness has been helping them in the race.

Colin and Christie leave next, and Colin immediately balks at the $100 fare he is offered, but he relents, threatening the driver that he had better be fast!

Linda and Karen grab their cab without drama, but Brandon and Nicole also balk at the $100. Brandon calls out for a cheaper ride, but no takers. Nicole tells us they have to be more aggressive, the teams ahead of them are, after all.

Kami and Karli have no issue with their cab fare, just telling us that they have to be less “spastic,” the teams ahead of them are much more deliberate and careful with the clues.

And we’re off in the dead of night in the African wilderness, which is scary enough, but you have five teams yelling “mush!” at their drivers! Kim rereads that the charter flights at Kilimanjaro Airport will be boarded in order of their arrival, which suits Chip fine.

Not suited so fine are Colin and Christie, who find themselves passed by Linda and Karen… and then Brandon and Nicole. Then Brandon and Nicole pass Linda and Karen! Then comes Speed Racer, who is passed by Racer X!

Then it gets worse for Colin and Christie. They get a flat! Colin is furious to learn that there is no spare tire – in fact, the donut is what actually went flat! Kami and Karli’s cab arrives a few minutes later, and Colin announces they are taking the spare tire. Note, I didn’t say he asks. Karli notes to us that Colin didn’t say thank you, either. Curiously, the feisty twins don’t challenge Colin on this. Smart. If Karma Electra is a boomerang – wait, wrong show.

More troubles! Linda and Karen’s cab is out of oil! Kami and Karli encounter them first and demand that their driver keep driving! Kami babbles some nonsense about how this is God thanking them for stopping for Colin and Christie. “We ain’t AAA!” she concludes. If Karma Electra took a train at 9 AM – oh, never mind.

Then comes Colin and Christie, who don’t look happy that they are stopping. Colin snidely remarks, “that’s what you get for driving so fast!“ As if he doesn’t wish they could be faster. Their cab driver calls for help, and Colin and Christie are on their way. Linda and Karen graciously wish them luck. Seems everyone is handling Colin with kid gloves. Wonder why.

Chip and Kim arrive at the airport and get their plane tickets for the 8:30 flight. Kim notes with some concern that Chip tipped the driver an extra $20. Then come Brandon and Nicole, who gets their tickets for the 8:30 flight and decide to give their driver half American dollars and half Kenyan. The driver says that wasn’t the deal, and it wasn’t. Brandon relents and pays the full fare in American dollars, to Nicole’s horror. Chip tries to explain that the American money can be life-changing for these folks. He explains that the good you do comes back to you and that Karma Electra is a deejay and life is a dance floor. And Brandon agrees (maybe not about Karma Electra), which enrages Nicole. She basically scolds him for not defending her. He says he understands what she’s saying, but he doesn’t agree with her. Chip says to us she needs to grow up.

Speaking of growing up, Colin and Christie arrive at the airport and announce they are only giving their driver $50 for costing them position in the race and driving on a donut. The driver doesn’t like this at all and argues that he wants his money. All of it. Colin says you can have $50 or nothing. The driver refuses to bargain and Colin snarls fine, you get nothing. And he heads into the airport!