Amish in the City, Episode 7: Around the World in 80 Hours

At the end of my last recap for this show, I expressed regret that the series seemed to be spending more time on the bickering inside the house and not nearly enough time on which way the Amish kids would decide to live the rest of their lives. You may recall the episode concluded with Mose beginning to lose his temper at Reese, and the other city kids. If, like me, you expected the show to pick up where it left off and resume the argument that everyone was in the middle of, then you are mistaken. As will soon be revealed, the group will find some entirely new and outrageous things to argue about.

It seems that things have settled down a bit. Instead of a volcanic eruption, there is just some smoldering and a little smoke. It appears as though everyone has headed to neutral corners. Jonas tells us that everything has polarized, and there are basically two groups in the house – those who like Kevan and those who don’t. This is the same division that has existed from the very beginning of the show, with the Amish in one group and the city kids in the other, it’s just that Kevan has gravitated to the Amish. We see Kevan doing some GED tutoring with Jonas, while the city kids joke around by the pool, and Reese makes up a little rap song about Kevan’s friendship with Jonas.

Everything jumps ahead several hours (it’s gotten dark outside), and we see Kevan and Meagan engaged in a conversation. Kevan tells her that the respect levels have dropped badly in the house. “Well, I don’t respect you,” Meagan retorts as she rolls over away from him. At that moment Reese, who seems to have an uncanny knack for rolling into the room just in time to throw gasoline on a fire, walks in saying, “Drama in the house!” He strolls across the room and asks, “What are y’all talking about? I want to add to it!” Kevan tells him that he and Meagan were discussing why he (Kevan) always seems to need to have the last word. Meagan suggests that it might be his culture. “Persian men are very controlling,” she continues, “and they down talk women all the time. Maybe that’s the Persian side coming out in you.” Wow, I didn’t know that chauvinism was a genetic trait! But if he’s only half-Persian, doesn’t that mean that he is only condescending half of the time? He’s also half-American and heaven knows that no American would ever be a control freak, right? In an interview clip Meagan, explains to us that Kevan is a know-it-all that has no clue as to who he really is. She says that he helps everyone, but that’s just to hide the fact that there’s nothing genuine about him. Always helping everybody? That beast! Let’s have him taken out and shot. She’s wearing a light blue sweater, which indicates to me that she must have left her black robe and gavel in the other room.

To say that Kevan is offended by Meagan’s prejudiced remark would be an understatement. “If you were to say something about black men, or about Mexican men it would be racist,” he snaps, “so what you just said about Persian men I will also consider racist.” This comment just goes right by Meagan without pausing, and she says, “I know about Persian men, and that’s how you act.”

Later that evening, Nick approaches Kevan and attempts once again to assume the role of peacekeeper. As he broaches the subject of being demeaning towards women, Kevan mentions Meagan’s earlier comments and adds a bombshell comment. “She doesn’t even know,” he tells Nick, “that it’s my stepdad that’s Persian.” Upon hearing this, I fell out of my chair in shock. Before I could shout the word “poseur!” however, Kevan appears in an interview clip to explain himself. “I don’t trust Nick,” he explains, “and I wanted to give him a piece of information to see what he’d do with it. The truth of it all is that my dad was born in Tehran, Iran. He’s my natural father and I am half Persian.” Now this is patently absurd. He’s set Nick up to spread this irresistible bit of news all over the house, and there can be no positive outcome. Sooner or later, the truth must come out, and, even assuming that Nick keeps the information to himself, Kevan will never be deemed trustworthy again. I have a real bad feeling about this.

The next morning, Kevan is in the pool while some of the others are working on their tans. Nick walks out to the edge of the pool and asks Kevan if he has a stepfather. When Kevan admits that he does, Nick says, “And he’s the Persian one, right?” As Meagan and Reese shake their heads in astonishment, Kevan tells us in interview, “Nick acted exactly as I anticipated, and the first thing he did was say something about it.” Well, maybe I’m splitting hairs here, but Nick didn’t say anything at all. He asked questions. Kevan could have ended it all right there with a simple word of denial and come clean at any moment. Now the fecal matter is about to hit the fan, and there isn’t anything Kevan can do to stop it. “The only reason that it’s coming up now,” Kevan says to Nick, “is because you’re putting me on the spot.” Nick denies this, and Kevan asks if Nick has a problem with him. “No,” Nick says cagily, “not yet.”

One of the unique aspects of this show is that the producers not only observe what is happening in the house, but they also cater events based on what is being said and done by the houseguests at any given time. This is one of those times. Tube mail arrives telling everyone that they are about to explore the cultures of the world that are represented right in their own backyard. In ten minutes, they will be leaving to explore the Middle East. Kevan tells the Amish that he’s very excited, what with his dad being from the Middle East and all. As he goes to inform the city kids of what’s happening, Ruth tells us that she had no idea where the Middle East was. This is a woman with a GED? Upon hearing of the trip, Nick reacts strongly. “I’m half Lebanese,” Nick explains to us, “My dad’s full Lebanese. So to be the only person in the house of any Middle Eastern descent and have Kevan – who is faking – pissed me off.”

After a short drive, everyone arrives at the “Cairo Carnivale,” which is a street celebration for people of Middle Eastern blood. They are greeted by Jayna, the carnival hostess, and watch numerous scantily clad young ladies belly-dancing in the California sunshine. In my tireless efforts to be certain I cover everything properly for these recaps, I watched this scene so many times the tape wore out. Such are the sacrifices I’m willing to make for Reality News Online and for you, my readers!