Surviving Vanuatu, Episode 2: Monkey in the Middle

Last week, the balance beam proved to be the downfall of the men in Vanuatu as it was in the Amazon. While Chris was the one who couldn’t cross it, Brook was the first one booted. (Why? Funny you should ask – I have the answer in Why Brook Lost, of course.) Will the men fall again, or will they come back to beat the women so we can see how the sorority girls line up against the worker women? Let’s find out!

Day 4 in Lopevi tribe (that’s the men) and they still don’t have fire. The night was cold and Travis tells us the joke is everybody asking how each other slept that night. He says he slept like a baby – woke up every few minutes and cried. Since they can’t cook anything, it looks like they’re eating some sort of worm or bug. Yum.

So they get to work again on trying to get fire. They rub and rub and get some smoke. There is a piece of ash. There is a spark. And… there is rain. Uh oh. They try to cover it and get it to light but, nope.

Over in Yasur (the women), they are climbing trees to get pantains. Mostly they’re chopping down leaves, but they finally get the fruit. They have fire because they won the first challenge, but they have to face the rain as well. Eliza drones on for a while about how horrible it is. I’d give you details but I stopped listening to her after the first few words. All I hear is “wah wah wah wah wah” like in the Peanuts cartoons.

As they cook their plantains, somebody notices maggots in there. Some are disgusted, but Scout figures it’s protein so she’s eatin’ it! They’re boiled anyway, she says. But Dolly is not adapting quite so well. She tells us that the hard nights, bad weather, and now maggots are really getting to her. But she’s having fun and happy to be there! When she starts crying in camp she gets a hug and some support from Twila. But privately, Twila wonders what the younguns thought they were getting themselves into! They aren’t mature enough, strong enough, and they don’t understand the game. “If they want to be pampered, they need to go back to the Holiday Inn.”

Back to the men, John P. asks Travis if his name came up before Tribal Council. Well, yes, it did. Travis breaks down for us what we already know – that the camp is split between the two Johns and Brady as the younger more physical guys and everybody else as the older guys. So right now it’s five against three – not good odds!

Travis tells John P. that, honestly, he is too big of a threat. He says he bases his decision on the fact that he is trying to win for his wife and kids, and John is too dangerous. John totally misunderstands and says that must mean if he had kids, it would be okay. Nooooo. Travis tries again – if he had kids, he’d be playing the game for them. He says he’s known John for five days but he’s got a family he’s known for a long time. There are 17 threats in the game, he says, and points out that only one person wins.

Time for the first reward challenge. Uh oh, it involves a beam again! These producers really want to torture the men, don’t they? OK, so it’s a much wider beam – maybe the men can handle it.

Anyway, each tribe member (except one woman, Scout, who will sit out to even things up) is numbered one through eight and line up on the beam. In order they have to move down the beam and squeeze past the other tribe members. You know what I just said about it being a wider beam? Yeah, well, it’s not when there are other people standing on it! Anyway, if they fall off (did I mention the beams are over the water?), they have to go back to the beginning and start over. They cannot touch more than one person at a time. First team to get everybody to the end wins! So if the men are smart, they will put Chris last so he won’t need to pass anybody.

What are they playing for? A better night’s sleep: one hammock, two pillows, three heavy blankets, and if Lopevi wins they get flint.

And so it begins! The first guy and girl fall quickly. Brady is trying to get past – it’s rather amusing to see the guys, who look somewhat uncomfortable touching and holding onto each other, doing this. The first woman gets through, then Brady for the men. The women get a second past John P. goes in. Meanwhile, it’s up to four women.