Road Rules X-treme, Episode 17: It's the End of the Show As We Know It, and I Feel Fine

Strangely, MTV felt the need to celebrate the end of this season by having a Road Rules X-treme marathon. Do we really need to relive Danny's oversensitivity, Derrick's drunkenness, Patrick's horniness, or the rest of the cast's... whatever? Maybe the reason they're running it all again because it was so forgettable the first time. Kina who?

This week opens with the Roadies celebrating as they get their last clue for their last mission for their last key for their big prize. Kara celebrates this being the last time she will have to think of quirky ways to describe boring people. There are only so many synonyms for "boorish jerk." Credits!

The EXTREME R.V. drives in the pouring rain, as Angela explains that the weather has been veering from maelstrom to sun. "Mother Nature is not on Road Rules X-treme's side today."

The MM's meet the Roadies at the final mission site by a deep gorge, and, in their hard-to-understand English, describe the last mission as having to cross two shaky-looking rope bridges in 90 minutes or less. The bridges are full of hidden surprises, so watch out! "This is the hardest mission I think that we've done," says Jodi. To me, nothing tops bungee-cord jumping over a volcano.

Desperate to prove his manhood after it was compromised in the last mission, Patrick goes first. The bridge quickly reveals itself to be unsafe when a couple of boards break under his weight.

Now Derrick. He reaches a space where a board is split in half and there is a big gap between boards that "the girls" wouldn't be able to cross. Derrick struggles to space the boards in a way that is favorable to them.

Now Jodi goes, and she's doing well... until she completely falls off and winds up hanging from the bridge. The other Roadies urge her to climb back up, but she complains that she can't. Oh the drama, the extremity... Jodi voiceovers that she is all out of strength at this point. Then, in a show of lower-body strength that surprises and impresses me, Jodi swings her legs up to the other rope and climbs back on the bridge. The team has lost five minutes, though, and is lagging behind. Nick goes across the rope, taking "flat steps" to avoid breaking any more boards.

Next, Angela “Oh my God”s her way across. She stops at one point and asks what she is supposed to do. "Keep going," Derrick seethes in voiceover. The Roadies encourage her, and, sniffling all the way, she manages to get across.

On to Jillian, who has a much easier and drama-free time. The Roadies then realize that they shouldn't have spent so much time on the first bridge when the second one is worse! Duh. They need to scale across on a pipe before reaching the boarded section, and are only allowed to fall once on each section of the bridge.

Patrick goes first again, followed by Jillian. They roll over on the pipe and fall at one point, dangling by just their safety harness. After much shouting and encouraging, they struggle to get back on, leading Patrick to boast that he and Jillian are the strongest pair in the mission. Like Jillian wouldn't have totally pushed him off that bridge if she could – but then, you know, they wouldn't have won their prize.

They're standing back up, and everything's fine – until one rope snaps and the bridge collapses! In the pouring rain, no less. Patrick and Jillian clutch onto the side that remains in place and, determined, force their way across. I have to give them their due – they show physical strength that I never could. If only they could just do challenges and never speak.

Now it's Nick and Angela. Angela groans and shrieks on the pipe-climbing part as though she is in labor (Derrick even has the presence of mind to shout "Push!"), then finally decides to fall and regain her energy to go across again. Patrick chides them for making "stupid decisions" and possibly costing them the prize. I'm not sure I get his logic, because Nick seemed fine, and Angela just had trouble holding on. How does that equal "stupid decisions"? But then, Patrick never needed to be the brightest pot to call the kettle black.

Now it's Derrick and Jodi, and sure enough, the bridge breaks again. They should market this ride to Universal Studios. Jodi loses her shoes, but she and Derrick struggle back upward and make it across.