“He’s A Lady”: A Preview

Do you like men in drag? The really funny, witty, double-over-from-laughing, Monty Python-esque kind of drag? Me too, but that’s not what we’re going to be talking about here.

Instead of providing us with originality and wit, the Reality TV gods have conspired to twist Tootsie and The Swan into a show entitled He’s a Lady. Yes, we’re quite serious. No, you may not be excused; I’m not doing this for my health. I’m doing this because someone at Evolution Film & Tape, Inc. probably had insomnia one night, watched the Dustin Hoffman flick, and wondered how he could wring an idea for a reality show from it.

The end result of this bizarre set of circumstances debuts on October 12, when TBS treats America to the sight of 11 men competing to bring out their feminine side. These fellows were originally recruited to be on a run of the mill reality show entitled All American Man, but then the producers lowered the boom: the men found out that they’d be required to walk, talk, and dress the part of a woman, the better to find out what being The Other is really like. And all this hoopla will culminate in a “Beauty Pageant” in order to find out which man is really The Best Woman.

He’s A Lady will have the 11 would-be drag queens going through all sorts of feminine contortions, including getting used to high heels and make up. We even have been promised Full Body Waxing. Yet I doubt the guys will be subjected to experiences that cover the entire range of womanhood in America, things like choosing the correct tampon absorbency, caring for children and elderly parents at the same time, and – oh, I don’t know – getting a pap smear.

But I admit I’d pay money to see the 11 guys in the gynecologist’s waiting room just for that purpose.

Lest we believe this is all merely an excuse to laugh at big guys in frilly outfits, there will be a final Judgment Day for these men. They must face the panel of “celebrity” judges (Morgan Fairchild, John Salley, Debbie Matenopoulos) and be judged in a Swan-like beauty pageant. The winner will go home with $250,000.

The only other thing we can be sure of is that, by the series’ finale, we will all be hit over the head with the prerequisite Life Lesson: much like Dustin Hoffman’s character realized in Tootsie, the contestants on this show will learn that being a woman leads to being a better man, or some such clichéd folderol.

Personally speaking, I know of many fine men who did not need to transform themselves into females in order to be empathetic and caring human beings. But then again, I have no idea how they look in a dress. Life’s a trade-off, I suppose. And speaking of trades, I have emptied my bank account to bribe Mr. S into watching this probable train-wreck with me, so RealityNewsOnline’s recaps will feature the male as well as female perspective.

I’m sure it will either be a riot or a nightmare, but either way, Mr. S and I will not flinch in providing all the gory/girlie details of He’s a Lady. And as usual, I’ll be looking forward to getting your input about all the “Lady”like happenings. My email address is open and ready for business.

Break out the eyeliner and plug in the hot rollers: He’s a Lady premieres Tuesday, October 12 at 10 eastern on TBS.

You can reach Andrea Shuman at ABostonGal@yahoo.com.

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