In Search of the Partridge Family, Episode 6: The Battle of the Finalists

The stage is bathed in blue light with the footlights casting an eerie glow. The Partridge Family logo appears on a big screen, as the theme from Star Wars heralds the appearance of the finalists. First to appear are the “Keiths,” who stand tall and proud in the spotlight, and then, in unison, turn their heads sharply to the right where the lights come up to reveal the “Lauries.” Boom. Boom. Boom. The “Lauries” snap their heads right, and it’s the “Dannys,” who perform the same movement to view the three “Shirley” finalists. The three “Shirleys” appear and, with “eyes left,” look at the rest of the group, and then march to the center of the stage where they join the others. The entire group does some kind of strange arm motion, and then they all turn and encircle a huge egg, from which Danny Bonaduce emerges jubilant. Can you see why I love this show so much!

Danny, who is wearing a gold lame v-neck shirt and shades, tells us, “Tonight, you and you alone get to decide who you want to star in the new VH1 sitcom.” This is it, the “Battle of the Finalists!” After a snippet of the Partridge Family theme song, host Todd Newton appears on the stage (no egg entrance for Todd) and tells us that this is a huge night, tormenting us by saying that we are really missing out by not being there. The crowd screams with glee. In a few minutes we will find out which of the “Shirleys” will compete for the “crown” but first, Todd lets us know that voting will be open during the show and then for two hours after.

Let’s get this party started. Todd introduces David Cassidy, who swaggers out with his rosy red cheeks and slick, greasy hairdo. He tells us that if anyone had told him thirty years ago that he would be doing this, he wouldn’t have believed them. I would bet not! He introduces yet another “tribute to Keith” series of clips, and then quickly gets into the action. David Petruzzi never had straight hair in his life before auditioning for this show, but, according to Cassidy, it has really working out well for him.

Now for a walk down memory lane as David P. reminisces about his journey to this point. All he wanted was a chance to sing on TV, and he is pleased that he got that opportunity. David is singing “Rich Girl,” off-key and with his eyes closed. This is a really bad song choice, but I figure that they really had no say in any of this, so I won’t blame him. He is trying too hard and appears to be very nervous. He gets a standing ovation from the audience though, and Cassidy says, “Oh Yeah.”

David introduces Leland Grant, who learned how to play poker in Partridge Family boot camp. Leland thinks it was cool that the performance coach told him to be himself, and says that he loved it when the girls screamed after he lifted up his shirt during his first performance. Leland is singing “A Bad Case of Loving You.” He is cute, that’s for sure and, actually, on this one, he rocks! He’s has some pretty slick stage moves and his voice is decent. But it’s his facial expressions that win me over. I would say Leland took this round handily.

It’s time for the “Lauries,” but first there is a segment highlighting the original Laurie, Susan Dey, who has been noticeably absent from the proceedings. She must have some serious issues with all of this! Shirley says that, if she had a daughter, she would love it if she were like Laurie. Danny is back in a different shirt, and he appears to “goose” Todd while he is trying to be serious. It must be incredibly difficult to muster up the kind of enthusiasm necessary to host this series. Danny tells a tasteless joke about blondes before introducing the first “Laurie,” smart and funny, Emily Stone.

Emily’s journey is documented. She had a blast at boot camp, and is both excited and scared about the finals. She is singing “Love Fool,” and wearing a silver mini skirt with high, black boots. Her singing is, well, it’s just plain awful. She sort of acts out the song too, which is strange to watch, and the faces that she makes are quite odd. Talk about over-emoting! I sigh deeply.

David is back, this time with Shirley Jones. She tells David it’s been wonderful working with him again and they laugh together since all this is pre-scripted. Oh the frivolity of it all. Next up is Alexis Mero, who, according to David, is addicted to trashy romance novels. Boot camp intimidated her, but she made friends with all the other “Lauries,” and was sad when the others were eliminated. Alexis will sing “So Emotional.” Ouch. She has a couple of moments where she is on-key but, for the most part, it was almost painful. She’s cute, though, and has an innocence about her that makes her a lot more convincing as Laurie than Emily.